new zealanders

We Are A Bit Worried About Our Antipodean Cousins

11:59AM Jess McGuire | We realise New Zealand is a unique and wonderful country, full of breathtaking landscape, more dub and reggae than anyone with a raging hangover can handle (that’s experience talking, folks), and messed up vowels. Whatever. We happily embrace their Shortland Street-lovin’ ways, and will in fact be “touring” the country in June which will no doubt result in some bewildered sounding posts amazing Serious Travel Journalism. But here’s something we can’t quite fathom or forgive – Westlife is still, inexplicably, massive over there. Irish boy band Westlife’s Wellington concert on May 9 has sold out in just three hours. The 4000 tickets for the concert at TSB Bank Arena went on sale at 9am on Saturday and all were gone by lunchtime. The band formed in 1998 and has had 14 No 1 hits in Britain. Yes, 14 No 1 hits in Britain – and every one of them guaranteed to cause sterility/aural cat AIDS/etc. More »

“What Would A Nice Girl Like Kylie Be Doing In A Wet Top Like That?”

3:36PM Jess McGuire | You’ve got to admire Wellington strip club owner Garth Rosson’s stubborn streak. After putting up a photo outside his strip club of a woman looking suspiciously like Our Kylie (aka St Minogue of Camberwell), he’s refusing to back down in the face of Kylie’s lawyers angry accusations the photo Garth is using is in fact one of Kylie. The legal eagles insisted Garth remove the image of Kyles from his window lest the Wellington public begin believing the pint-sized pop superstar is making a quick buck on the side Showgirls style, and for the time being Garth has pulled it from his shop front, but he’s remaining adamant that the woman in the image IN NO WAY RESEMBLES KYLIE MINOGUE. Looking at Garth’s picture (left) and an image of Kylie (right), one can’t help but note the uncanny likeness to Minogue in the shot being used to advertise the strips. Troubling. How on earth will Garth reason his way out of this one? With the world’s greatest riposte, that’s how. He said his designer downloaded the image from an internet site three months ago and used it for a window poster. It was not labelled as a photograph of Minogue and he said he could not see the resemblance. “I’m not convinced, eh? What would a nice girl like Kylie be doing in a wet top like that?” WHAT WOULD A NICE GIRL LIKE KYLIE BE DOING IN A WET TOP LIKE THAT! That is, hands down, the greatest line we’ve read in a news article since Family First candidate Andrew Quah explained away his appearance on gay websites with “That’s not my penis”. More »