Beautiful, talented, and not-at-all-frightening television presenter (and pop star and actress) Natalie 'The Bass' Bassingthwaighte has confessed she was tormented by hideous bullies during her younger years!

The So You Think You Can Dance host clearly remembers being bullied at school and called names such as, "liquorice legs" and, "the young and the breastless".

"It made me feel really insecure and question who I was," she said.

"Could it be? That I am actually made of liquorice?"

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We have a problem, we know. We're seeking help.

In the meantime, following on from our earlier story...

God almighty, we bloody love The Bass. Actress, pop star, slightly manic host, and now author? Believe it, bitches. The Bass wants young girls to start behaving in a lovelier manner towards one another, and in light of recent news stories, the publication of Sistahood: A Journal of Self Discovery couldn't have come at a better time.

Natalie Bassingthwaighte has added author to her growing list of accomplishments. The former Neighbours star has tonight launched her first book Sistahood : A Journal of Self-Discovery at a function at Sydney's Luna Park, attended by hundreds of young girls.

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Booted So You Think You Can Dance Australia contestant and beanpole Anthony Ikin has come out sooking following his 'eviction', reckoning that were it not for dodgy choreography, he'd still be in the contest.

(We'd say something here about the INTENSE sexual tension between Ikin and The Bass on Monday night, but we think our picture - above - speaks for itself, particularly if you listen to Somewhere while you look at it. "Theeeeere's aaaaa plaaaace for uuuussss...")

Apart from a handful of solo performances, the former sport aerobics champion is peeved that he never really got a routine he could sink his teeth into thanks to some less than earth-shattering choreography.

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... for Marko and Stephanie. No doubt our Associate Editor will talk more about last night's boot(scoot)ing off of the aforementioned two contestants, but we did find it interesting that Jason Coleman's plea worked so quickly.

So You Think You Can Dance judge Jason Coleman says he and the other judges were devastated at having to eliminate Hilton and Kassy last week. Could the show be losing its best dancers because Sydney viewers aren't voting for their own?

"I really care about the integrity of the competition and not just the popular people from small town cities,'' Coleman told Insider, before begging NSW to get behind Graeme, Rhiannon, Henry, Vanessa and Kate.

Sorry Stephanie, but he thinks you're only there because of the Perth support for your partner Marko.

Poor Marko and Stephanie. They should have done what The Bass demanded - and now, now she must kill them.

(Thanks to Tom for reminding us of that amazing and frightening photo of The Bass)

A slightly less disjointed episode this week, with a marginally more interested-sounding crowd, although someone really needs to have words with presenter Natalie Bassingthwaighte, whose presenting steez swings between aggro and just plain weird (though we'll leave the full run-down to our weekly Totally Addicted To Bass feature!).

As to the comings and goings of last night (and Sunday), we weren't really surprised to see Hilton leave; solo, he's a wonderful dancer, but always seemed rather awkward whilst dancing with a partner, sticking his bum out like a duck and stooping because of his height.

Kassy we were a little more surprised to see the back of, though as Jason Coleman rightly pointed out, all of the 'dance for your life' solos last night were pissweak (though the exact term he used was "quantity not quality"), particularly Kassy's, which seemed to consist solely of wiggling her arse vaguely in time to the music.

What of the rest of the Top 16? They're definitely growing on us, though we've always loved Demi, Camilla, Henry and Jack. However we were definitely shocked that Marko and Stephanie survived another week after their laughable "swap" (swing/hip hop) routine, which followed last week's stinker of a jive (Choreographer: "Okay, guys, you've picked the jive, which is an up-tempo ballroom dance... [takes long drag on crack pipe] ...Let's dress you as sexy punks and have you dance to... The Veronicas! You can't lose!" Marko & Stephanie: "...").

Also, someone in wardrobe hates them.

Readers! If you've got any pertinent So You Think You Can Dance Australia goss, or you have schtupped know one of the dancers or judges, do feel free to let us know - email tips@defamer.com.au and give us an ear-bashing!

Well, we're now a week into the "proper" part of So You Think You Can Dance Australia and already the show has been Dogged By Controversy. You know, if by "controversy" you mean "a few people getting upset because a swear word slipped through the filters".

Yes, the joys of live television were in full effect on Sunday, and a stray "f--k" made it through; we laughed heartily at the time, other viewers were less impressed.

We've been thrilled with how well the show format has been adapted for Australian audiences (i.e. with few changes), but are noticing a strange sort of listlessness now that we've reached the Top 20, which is bad news for a show like SYTYCD, which usually starts breaking out the big guns as it gets closer to the finishing line (unlike Idol, which becomes progressively less captivating week by week).

We're not sure if it's the "corrie" (choreography), the peculiar camera angles (Producer: "Okay guys, they're about to do a really intricate move, so let's take the camera as far away as possible, starting... now!") or the fact that the judges, while great, don't really have the same personality factor as the American judges, but we were left feeling a little cheated at the end of Sunday's show. What do you think so far? It could be that we're just such psychotic fans of the US franchise that nothing will ever match it - but then again, we were more than happy with the audition episodes.

However, we were most pleased on Monday to see the back of Melbourne's Courtney Walker, who had one too many "sexy" moves and not enough actual chops to last it out, and then got all sooky post-"eviction" when judge Jason dared to describe her style as "lyrical jazz" instead of "hip hop jazz" (happily, he bitch-slapped her back down with some very faint praise that basically amounted to "bye bye now, there's a good girl", and then it was time for The Bass' "Okay, Courtney, you need to sit on the stool now" moment, and the Lord said it was good).

Don't worry: we're not giving up on So You Think You Can Dance Australia just yet. We'd just like to request some slightly better hair/make-up/costuming and slightly less inane banter from The Bass, and the whole thing should get back on track.

After last night's viewing of So You Think You Can Dance, we fell head over heels with Natalie Bassingthwaighte's particular style of television presenting. Looks of intense concentration, Oscar-worthy emotion mustered up at the drop of a hat, and as for her unscripted bits of banter- well, we are heartily smitten. So we are calling all Defamer Australia readers to nominate their own favourite one liners and special moments during the series by emailing your friendly auto-reply service at this address and we'll regularly compile the Greatest Hits in a (potentially) regular segment we're calling Totally Addicted To The Bass. After all, there are rare occasions the Defamer Australia team must leave the house at night, and we simply couldn't sleep soundly knowing we'd missed hearing something like "Okay Courtney, you need to sit on the stool now" uttered with a stern, straight face by The Bass.

Also, you may like to contribute your own photoshopped Bass pictures as our own "mad graphic skillz" leave a little to be desired. Feel free not to point that fact out, ever.

When expressing insincere happiness...
THINK: Dr Karl Kennedy is leaning in to kiss you.

When expressing insincere sorrow...
THINK: Dr Karl Kennedy is disappointed in you.

When attempting to chat casually with contestants...
THINK: Someone is making small talk at Scarlet Bar.

When struggling to remember what part of the show comes next...
THINK: Dr Karl Kennedy has informed you he is feeling conflicted about his emotions toward Susan.

Other moments of Bassingthwaighte brilliance during tonight's So You Think You Can Dance show -

(after telling the judges to go backstage and decide who is leaving and mysteriously adopting a Sportsgirl shop assistant's voice) "I sooooooooo don't envy you guys, soooo... yeah..."

(getting distracted while attempting to seamlessly segue from the Veronicas' performance of 'Untouched' - this one goes out to you, Dean Geyer! - to the official announcement of who would be leaving the show) "Right now the judges are backstage... YEAH! THE VERONICAS!"

You could also, if you were so inclined, organise a SYTYCD drinking game, with participants downing a shot whenever there's an awkward silence after Natalie Bassingthwaighte has said something.

Don't get us wrong. We fucking love the Bass! The more her brow furrows with confusion and mild ineptitude, the more our cold hearts thaw a little. Hey, James Mathison has managed to pull off his particular brand of half-cut marblemouthed buffoonery on telly for years now and we have grown to adore him.

UPDATE Our Associate Editor just reminded us of the other delicious quote from The Bass which we forgot to write down at the time, but totally adored while we were in "the moment".

(with a ridiculously intense voice and accompanied by a Serious Facial Expression one might expect a doctor to deliver news like "You've got three months to live" with...) "Okay Courtney, you need to sit on the stool now."

SIT OR LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES, COURTNEY. SIT OR FEEL THE MIGHTY WRATH OF THE BASS!

Which of the following statements did Rogue Traders frontwoman Natalie Bassingthwaighte allegedly confide in a chum regarding her collaboration with Shannon Noll for the 2006 charity single and brutal musical rape of Don't Give Up?

Was it -

a) "I feel like we did a really good job in picking up where Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush left off."

b) "Well that was a fucking lapse in judgment, wasn't it?"

c) "In retrospect, perhaps That's What Friends Are For would have been a better choice."

We bloody love Natalie Bassingthwaighte.

And, if the comments to the above YouTube video are to be believed, we're not the only ones.

Highlights include -

* i like the lady very much she is gorgeous and i really want her to be my life partner.

* now honestly what guy would not want to be stranded with natalie ummm in an elevator in winter with limited clothing cuz some other freak of nature somehow removed your clothing.. and yeah your their for 24hrs.. nice

* I want to have anal sex with Natalie Bassingthwaite.

* were dose your mothr live. are you the onley child\ is there any more of family

Well, we can probably scrap that last one from the list.