There are some stars who are such tragic creatures of habit that reporting on their constant antics becomes something of an eye-roll-inducing event. Members of this elite squadron include Amy Winehouse, Shane Warne, and the topic of today's groaning, Naomi Campbell.

I've actually lost track of where we're up to in Campbell's history of belting people left, right and centre, but apparently she's set for some community service work after pleading guilty to going batshit crazy on a British Airways flight recently.

As well as the community service - which has to be completed within 12 months - she was ordered to pay £200 ($A415) to each of the two police officers she assaulted, and £150 ($A312) to the aircraft captain.

The 38-year-old subjected the captain of the British Airways flight and police to a barrage of foul-mouthed abuse, spitting and swearing and accusing them of victimisation because she was black, a west London court was told.

Campbell, who last year was handed community service and forced to undergo anger management therapy after admitting assaulting her maid in New York, pleaded guilty to six charges in relation to the incident on April 3 this year.

The catwalk star'slawyer said she was "genuinely apologetic" for her behaviour.

After all, if Amy Winehouse and Shane Warne can change their ways, anyone - oh.

Here's something from the totally shocking news department: Naomi Campbell has been charged with assault!

And here I was thinking she'd been spending her days looking after orphaned crippled children and playing with defenseless little kittens in a field full of daisies and baby animals under a pretty rainbow in Candy Land near the Sea Of Happiness.

I guess we all get misinformed sometimes.

Campbell, 37, was taken off a British Airways plane by officers on April 3 after she boarded a flight to Los Angeles in the United States and was told before takeoff that one of her bags was missing.

She is charged with five offences - three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behaviour to cabin crew.

Campbell will appear in court in west London on June 20, her lawyer Simon Nicholls said, after she answered bail at Heathrow's police station.

If found guilty, she could face up to six months in prison and/or a fine of several thousand pounds.

We have to give Britney Spears some credit: even after all the gurney rides, mental ward stays and umbrella attacks, she's still capable of inspiring her fellow Bimbo Summit alumni to follow in her bare footsteps. According to TV Guide, Lindsay Lohan is "in advanced discussions" to become the latest stunt cast victim guest star on the May 22nd finale of ABC's runaway hit Ugly Betty. And in a nostalgic nod to the good old days when she played an outcast in Mean Girls, she's reported to play a fast-food worker who Betty befriends. The only bad news? Lohan will be forced to share the guest star spotlight with the all-time queen of anger management-be-damned divadom.

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Long ago, we witnessed the frightening effects a bad weave can have on someone like Tyra Banks. Then, we had the misfortune of seeing what happens when John Travolta grew crops of fake hair atop his jolly head. And of course, who can forget Jude Law's T-bone-shaped crew cut earlier this week. But leave it to sanitation worker/phone-throwing criminal Naomi Campbell to reveal the worst and most gruesome display of 'do disasters. Seems even legendary female supermodels who've made a living off their looks can suffer from a condition we've often seen featured on late-night infomercials: ladies losin' their hair. The evidence lies after the jump.

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Not long after she'd been allegedly banned from flying with British Airways, just what landed Naomi Campbell in this latest spot of bother has emerged - and what a charming lass she is!

The supermodel apparently opened up a can of verbal whup-ass on all and sundry, culminating in a delightful spray of racial abuse directed at the police officer who was trying to escort her. Two thumbs up, Naomi!

Now cops claim she called a WPC a "white ****" and a "white s**g" as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs.

The police source said Naomi continued, screaming: "f***ing white honkeys" at the officer and her colleagues.

Those anger management classes have clearly been a great success, then.

Campbell went berserk when she discovered one of her bags was missing at Terminal 5 last Thursday, allegedly spitting at officers who approached.

Senior Scotland Yard staff were furious when Naomi later claimed police only arrested her because of her colour.

She told a pal: "It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am. It's because I'm black."

Either way, someone must get her on the next Celebrity Big Brother or I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here - worth it for the quotes alone!

Not long after they "escorted" her from one of their flights after she allegedly assaulted a police officer, British Airways have decided there's one less supermodel temper they're prepared to deal with while floating miles above the ground in a tin tube filled with innocent bystanders and have banned Naomi Campbell from their flights.

(Really, we just wanted an excuse to use that amazing 'Here's Naomi' picture again, so cheers, BA!)

When asked about a report in the Mirror saying she had been banned, a spokesman said:
"We don't comment in detail about matters relating to individual passengers.

"All incidents of abuse against passengers or staff are taken extremely seriously by BA and will not be tolerated. We deal with cases on an individual basis and will take whatever action we feel is necessary."

Campbell's spokeswoman in London added: "Naomi has been flying with British Airways for nearly 30 years and has been a good customer. She hopes this can be resolved amicably."

Police are investigating the disturbance last Thursday at Heathrow's new Terminal 5.

We were going to go into great detail telling you about Naomi Campbell's latest collar for anger management issues - this time she's alleged to have a) spat on a police officer and b) been cuffed and thrown off a flight at Heathrow; business as usual, then - but we think this little bit of Photoshop wondrousness from the Herald Sun's front page says all that needs to be said:

Sometimes, there are no words.

Other than, you know, "OH JESUS WEPT SAVE US" or something to that effect.

We'd like to have a word with Naomi Campbell's anger management instructor, because apparently those classes she was forced to take after that infamous cell phone toss last year didn't do much good at all. According to People, Campbell was arrested earlier today for assaulting a police officer at London's Heathrow Airport, and while it's cute that they reference the fact that "travellers' frustrations have flared due to baggage delays" since the new Terminal 5 was constructed, we can't help but feel as though Campbell is officially out of excuses for attacking the innocent. Though throwing her mobile phone at an assistant last year was certainly a step down on the crazy level from her 2000 incident attacking a PA on set, moving up to police assault moves Campbell out of the sanitation club with fellow alumnus Boy George, and into handcuffs territory. But what happened to the sweet, good-natured Naomi we witnessed on Bravo's guilty pleasure Make Me A Supermodel a few episodes ago?

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· We'd normally apologize in advance for inflicting the above video upon you, but, when you think about it, aren't we all at least partially to blame for its existence? Think of the three-and-a-half minutes of your life you're about to sacrifice as penance for the Leave Britney Alone Guy phenomenon.

· These are probably not never-nude actress Elisha Cuthbert's bare breasts. Still, you will click. [Link NSFW]

· How long do you think it will take for this enormous LCD TV to make its way from CES in Vegas to some producer's living room, to which he'll lure a desperate actress with the promise of getting a look at his "108-inch monster"?

· Supermodel-turned-political-correspondent Naomi Campbell got Hugo Chavez to name Fidel Castro The Most Stylish Despot in the World.

· The other Big Lebowksi sells real esate locally.

Before we try to fit any more Led Zeppelin puns (they reformed recently, didn't you hear?) into the one headline, we'll get on with business.

To wit, Naomi Campbell - one of the myriad famous fans attending the old rockers' "getting the band back together" gig for charity - was caught up in a scuffle when one opportunistic fan thought he'd try to nick the VIP pass from around the supermodel's neck.

Why she didn't just hit him with a phone is anyone's guess; maybe that community service really did work!

An eyewitness said: "This guy, who looked a bit drunk, ran up alongside Naomi and tried to lift the passes from around her neck but it got tangled in her scarf and hair.

"He yanked the pass quite forcefully which dragged her down, half throttling her, before security stepped in."

"She was screaming 'He's got the pass' but it sounded as if she was being choked. The guy eventually got the pass and ran off. It all happened so quickly. Naomi looked very shaken."

Photographer Greg Brennan added: "People were doing anything to get their hands on one of those tickets. People were fighting all over the place."

Hilariously, O2 Arena spokespeople played down the "theft", offering this to the press: "Naomi Campbell did report that she had lost her phone, but she couldn't even remember whether she brought it with her or not."

Oh, which reminds us, our diamond-studded solid-gold Ferrari got stolen the other day in the Coles carpark; we can't remember whether we'd driven it there or not, but would appreciate its swift return.