myspacepartyteenwhocannotbenamedforlegalreasonswatch

Here’s A Reason To Stab Yourself This Morning: Corey Worthington Is Probably Going To Make More Money Over The Next Year Due To His Famous Glasses Than Any Of Us Will Ever Make In A Lifetime

8:02AM Jess McGuire | Just when you thought it was safe to don ridiculous yellow glasses and advertise your shindigs on Le Spazz without fear of being confused for Narre Warren’s finest, it emerges that Corey Worthington Delany is not only back in our papers, but making serious cash from his reputation as a fun time guy with impressive abilities to advertise suburban house parties through the magic of text messaging and social networking sites. Forget about his 15 minutes of fame, notorious party pest Corey Worthington is set to go global, having signed a lucrative endorsement deal with one of the largest mobile phone companies in the UK. More »

Corey, There’s A Lovely Young Lady We’d Like You To Meet…

8:50AM Jess McGuire | Although Britain’s Gemma Anscomb can’t quite lure in the impressively high number of punters to a party that Corey Worthington/Delaney/MySpazz can (the alleged Narrewarren 300 being hard to top), we’d say the quality of the damage she caused to her parent’s home after throwing a wild knees up while her folks were away more than makes up for the measly 50-something number of attendees to her do. Highlights – or perhaps we should say lowlights – of Gemma’s party include - &middot A drugged out dog named Bailey (“He did eventually wake up, but for days he was very quiet, hardly moved and wouldn’t eat his food,” revealed a visibly distressed Mrs Anscomb yesterday. – and probably had a nasty bout of the Suicide Tuesdays to boot, poor pup. Drugging pets is not cool, kids!) &middot Group sex on a washing machine. &middot A £600 fridge scratched to bits with a knife. &middot Beautiful cream carpet turned to black (“..soaked through with alcohol, mud, cigarette ends and chewing gum.”) &middot A dining room with a floor covered with four inches of beer (what a waste of perfectly good beer! Youngsters these days…) &middot An eight year old girl’s bedroom used for illicit sexings, with underwear left between the sheets and a pair of handcuffs remaining after the kinky jamberoo. &middot A sixway shag session in the parent’s bedroom. &middot Perhaps most horrifying of all, 57 (57!!!!!) calls made on the home phone. And not a penny left to cover costs. Read the whole story here. Gemma, like Corey, has revealed she has no regrets about the party, stating on her Bebo page “Yeahh it [the party] went wrong but it was well good. . . I mean it was f****** good.”, and – once again, like Corey – she hasn’t returned home to face the wrath of her oldies. We recommend the pair hook up on one of those social networking sites immediately. One poke leading to the odd message, and before you know it – it’ll be the international teen wedding of the century. And imagine the reception! It’ll be epic! More »

YouTube Clip Of The Day

8:43AM Jess McGuire | When reader Beth (thanks, by the way!) sent us in the following clip for our daily dose of YouTube idiocy and we saw the title of the piece was Corey Delaney: The Leader Of The Liberal Party, we thought “Oh no! We’re over Corey, will we find this video amusing?” The answer is yes, kids. Wonderfully put together, and Corey Worthington Delaney MySpazz Whateverthehellnameheisgoingby still delivers a less infuriating apology than Brendan Nelson. Bravo, Beth! Readers should send in their nominations for YouTube Clip Of The Day here. More »

Corey Worthington Cops A Beating!

8:31AM Jess McGuire | Defamer Australia, like most normal people, lost interest in the Corey Delaney Worthington story a couple of days after it broke. Kid has party, kid is a smart arse to smarmy television host and becomes world wide YouTube hit, kid gets arrested, kid continues to ride the publicity wave all the way to the bank… Exciting stuff, to be sure. But when we heard Zoo Weekly were auctioning off his famous sunglasses, we thought two things. 1) If you bid and win Corey’s stupid glasses, you are officially a fuckwit. 2) Is the money going to charity? Specifically, the Further Breast Enlargements For Krystal Forscutt Fund? Now we learn Corey’s been beaten up by a “gang” of teenagers (it’s all Bloods and Crips out there at Fountain Gate shopping centre). Party pest Corey Worthington has been caught on camera taking part in a “pre-arranged” fight with a group of teenagers near a Melbourne shopping centre. The Narre Warren teen was filmed on a mobile phone camera trading blows with other teenagers at a park near Fountain Gate shopping centre on Monday afternoon. “Chris, give it to him,” one onlooker is heard to say on the footage shown on Channel 9’s A Current Affair last night. An unnamed witness said a fight broke out and Chris started hitting Corey in the face. “The fight broke out when I got to the oval. Chris started like hitting him in the face, kneeing him in the face,” he said. “The group didn’t like him. “Corey walked past the group that didn’t like him. It was a sort of planned fight. He came with all his friends to fight. He thinks he’s all that because he’s famous now.” Kids, eh? More »

MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasonsWatch: Our Posts Are Back & Gently Amended So We Don’t End Up Behind Bars

10:33AM Jess McGuire | As most of you would be well aware, we had to take down our coverage of the MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasons on Wednesday night after the kid in question was arrested. Our boss posted about this and scared us half to death with his use of long words and phrases which contained many syllables, like “sub judice contempt” and “Cell Block H”. Thankfully, with some very clever editing (well, replacing the teen in question’s name with [REDACTED] in each article), we’re now able to put ‘em back up! - Best Party Ever! - A trip to Frankston Maccas! - Admiring [REDACTED]’s chutzpah! - Planning a new party! - The man himself is pleased with his Facebook tribute group! - Don’t touch his famous glasses! - [REDACTED] arrested! - Hanging with Ben Cousins! Now we’re off to find something better to write about. Also, anyone know of any kickarse parties happening this weekend? [REDACTED], WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU HERE. PS: Thanks to Mess and Noise for the Slurms-photo inspiration. More »

MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasonsWatch: Frankly, This Just Made Us Chuckle.

2:04PM Jess McGuire | This recently arrived in our inbox (thanks, SJX!) with the subject title “We know where [REDACTED] learnt his craft”. As you were. More »

MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasonsWatch: Our Partying Overlord Would Rather Die Than Reveal What’s Behind His “Famous” Sunglasses

10:43AM Clem Bastow | Our man [REDACTED] can’t be too desperate for fame, as he was sufficiently spooked by a breakfast radio host’s attempts to remove his “famous” yellow sunglasses (which, for what it’s worth, we’re pretty sure are from either Valley Girl or Sportsgirl) that the party king ran away! He later returned and naturally the interview was peppered with the sorts of bon mots we’ve come to expect from Narre Warren’s answer to Steve Rubell. The 16-year-old from Narre Warren bolted out of the studio and fled down a fire escape after radio host Matt Tilley tried to remove his plastic yellow sunglasses, which he had kept on throughout the interview. He was chased by several news camera operators and an anxious radio producer but disappeared. [REDACTED] later returned to the studio and completed the on-air interview. Before making his escape, [REDACTED] was asked if he had anything to say to his parents who might be listening. “Sorry,” he said. Asked if he was planning to return to home, he said: “To get my clothes and stuff”. Asked if he ever wanted to go home again, he said: “I do sort of, but don’t know right now”. So why the fear of having his glasses removed – is he like the pod baby from Eraserhead, whose blankets are really its skin? Will removing them cause his brain (or what’s left of it) to course splashily from his eye sockets? Or, in a Gabbo-esque let down, will they reveal him to be Chris Lilley? More »

MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasonsWatch: The Man Himself Seems Pleased With His Facebook Tribute Group

9:29AM Jess McGuire | Firstly, we are pleased to finally learn [REDACTED]’s full name is [REDACTED] [REDACTEDTON] [REDACTEDEY], according to his Facebook profile. Secondly, we bring you a slice of enthused wisdom left by the man himself on the Facebook discussion board for his tribute group [REDACTED] IS A DEADSET LEGEND. [REDACTED] [REDACTEDTON] [REDACTEDEY] wrote at 1:20am :take it:BREAKIT ^luvin dis shit^ Ur all Tha GOOD type !!!~~~ Every1 HiT up tha ||C-nut|| Fkn (maKe) me a groUp Offica! Sik. Eloquent little bugger, isn’t he? And with the benefit of hindsight, we note the following nugget of information featuring on his About Me section… Hit me up Cos I got pix of my Abs in my photos secTion!!! ~~ Oh yea party at Mine Saturday 12th Jan. BYO chicks and grog No knives, rents will cracK it at me “rents will cracK it at me” indeed, [REDACTED]. Favourite books? -FHM -Zoo mag – ezzo sed he saW a Genuine pussy lip in this Months one :~~~ -Ralph -Picture – but I keeP my eyes off the fkn HomegirLs Hahaah!! -Penthouse wen the bloke at Dandy Plaza lets Us have em’ Hold us back, cos we’re about a second of pouncing on this fellow and asking him to marry us. Whaddacatch! Finally, we turn to his latest status update (as of 1.35am in the early hours of Wednesday morning) to see how Australia’s favourite teen party thrower is feeling during this interesting time in his life. [REDACTED] [REDACTEDTON] [REDACTEDEY] is rearrangin the tackle baby. Good to know. More »

MySpacePartyTeenWhoCannotBeNamedForLegalReasonsWatch: MySpazz Party King Offered Promoter Job, Planning Another Kickarse Party In Two Weeks Time

9:08AM Jess McGuire | When will our fascination will [REDACTED] end? When the press stops covering the story, we suppose. The latest on the Narre Warren wonderboy, thanks to the Herald Sun. An unrepentant teenager who threw an out-of-control party at the weekend sparking a visit from the police air wing and dog squad says he will not change. [REDACTED], 16, had 500 people arrive at his house after an open invitation went out on MySpace, but is still planning another bash in two weeks. “I’ve always had a bit of an attitude,” [REDACTED] said. “I’m not going to change for anyone, really.” … “Yeah, it’s been pretty fun,” he told Channel Nine. “I’m having another big pary in two weeks. I don’t really want to (go home), I’m going out with my mates and stuff, and don’t want to go home.” And why would he, when he’s able to flaunt his brand new celebrity status at glamorous venues like Frankston Maccas? Brilliant. Party promoter Tim Sabre, of Raw Entertainment, has offered 16-year-old [REDACTED] a job with his events company as a party promoter. Mr Sabre told media outlets today that [REDACTED] had done “a great job in the wrong place” and tipped he could be successful promoting underage events. “A promoter who can organise a party for 500 people can make anywhere from $2000 to $10,000,” he sad. “If he can pull 500 to the street, he could easily fill up a club.” Ha! So not only is he rapidly becoming the world’s most famous obnoxious teen, he’s now going to score a sweet job for his efforts. There’s something quite brilliant about all this. “Erm…” – his parents & assorted outraged adults and media outlets Hush. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to add him as a friend on MySpazz so we can find out the details regarding the next “best party ever”. More »