monday morning box office
Big Screen
Surly Old Man Nearly Defeated By Three Drunks In Epic Battle Royale
12:28AM Richard Lawson | Up barely floated past the boffo success story of the summer, The Hangover, while some other films struggled for traction in a loud, crowded stateside summertime cinemascape. More »
Big Screen
The Force Is Strong In Star Trek!
12:19AM Richard Lawson | To Infinity, and Beyond! I mean… um… Frak! Wait. No. I am… your father… Greedo… Bespin… Um… Oh, right! Star Trek prospered this weekend and will likely live long in theatres. More »
Big Screen
Hannah Montana And Cowboy Ride Rocket Horses Past Speeding Toyota
12:53AM Richard Lawson | Hannah Montana opened big, meaning we get six more years of Miley Cyrus. Fast & Furious continues to do donuts in America’s muddy backyard, and those few who Observe‘d did not Report good things. More »
Another Visit From Marley’s Ghost
2:17AM Seth | The Holidays™ are over. We hope yours ended on a lighter note than ours did—curling up with a 60 Minutes story about a seven-year-old girl decapitated in the back of a limo by a drunk driver. More »
Only Two More ‘Christmases’ To Go Before We Can Forget It Existed
3:21AM Seth | The US weekend kicked off with a mild rumbler and closed out with a sputter, as not even Lionsgate’s completely stupid Punisher remake of a remake of a remake managed to connect with completely-stupid-movie-loving audiences. Still, things continued to bode well for indepe—we mean specialty films—as Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, and a number of other brain-fertilising offerings continuing to show specialty legs. That said—buckle-up for a ride on the post-Thanksgiving Deja Vu Express, aka the Grove Trolley to Movie Hell:
‘High School Musical 3′ The Soundtrack Of Change
2:04AM Seth | Never in our wildest dreams did we think our Halloween gift to you—the Do-It-Yourself Grazerhead mask—would become the runaway success that it did, with literally tens of thousands of the Officially Sanctioned Headshots™ swarming the streets of L.A. Friday night, each accompanied by their very own candy-appraisal attaché. (Grazerhead: “What do we think about Nerds?” Attaché: “We like them.”) We urge you to send in your Night of the Living Grazerheads Photos; in the meantime, unwrap some US box office numbers from your premium candy pile:
‘HSM 3: The Quest For Second Base’ Electrifies America
2:52AM Seth | Low energy? Have a nutritious boost with this recipe for a Defamer Monday Morning Power-Up Smoothie: 2 cups weak coffee 47 hazelnut Coffee-Mate single servers 128 Sweet n’ Lo packets Container of papaya yogurt with Post-It on it reading “Charlene’s. DO NOT TOUCH.” Just the turkey slices from leftover platter of sandwiches Petrified piece of Costco birthday cake 1 scoop printer toner More »
‘I’m Mark Wahlberg. I Star In ‘Max Payne.”
2:04AM Seth | Time to unzip your Happy Weekend Suit and step back into your Monday Morning Iron Maiden: The work week is again upon us. Quick—jumpstart your productivity with some US box office numbers before someone finds your position detrimental to the bottom line:
America Feels the ‘Burn’
2:40AM STV | It’s a special day for moviegoers — the first time in three weeks those studio jokers didn’t leave the equivalent of a flaming bag of crap on our doorstep Friday morning. Thanks, Hollywood! Their reward? One of the best non-Labor Day September weekends in years, as illustrated by our regular browse through the Monday Morning Box Office:
