The nerve of rock stars these days - they get together with models, and not only do they not feature them in their video-clips (unlike the good old days of Jerry Hall and Christie Brinkley doing the rounds on MTV), now they can't even be arsed getting out of bed in time to watch their leggy charges storm the catwalk. At least, that seems to be the mood at the news.com.au/Daily Telegraph team, where they are wailing in the streets because Daniel Johns missed his girl Louise Van Der Vorst's appearance in the Alex Perry show for Fashion Targets Breast Cancer (in other words, not only does he not care about his girlfriend, he doesn't care about breast cancer!):

He's happy to snuggle up to girlfriend Louise Van Der Vorst at every upmarket restaurant on Crown St, Surry Hills, but Daniel Johns does not seem so keen on mixing business with pleasure.

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As you may recall, Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond, Jr. pulled out of his solo Australian visit just the other day, citing a "severe throat infection" that had rendered him mute. Unlike most "we're too sick to visit" tour cancellations, one would imagine that Hammond, Jr. was telling the truth - but the British tabloids perhaps tell another tale!

The lanky guitarist and singer was yesterday spotted out and about with his GF, model Agyness Deyn, and they don't seem to be using sign language, if you know what I mean!

Here's hoping what's really happening in that photo is Agyness staring off into the middle distance and wishing he'd stayed in bed rather than valiantly trying to walk the dog with her, while Albert tries to croak out a few words - we like him too much for this to be another "But the plane trip is too loooong!" cases for an Australian tour no-show.

Taking time out from her busy schedule packed full of water balloon lobbing and screaming "why can't I make her break?!" at the full moon, Australia's Next Top Model "winner" Demelza Reveley has begun her modelling career in earnest.

This involved doing a trade show to launch Saba's latest collection - not much news there, but I do like this vaguely damning faint praise that her agent (and AusNTM judge) Priscilla Leighton Clarke whipped up for the bullying teenager:

"I'm not going to throw her in the deep end because she's only 16 - Alice Burdeu was 20 and there's a big difference in what she was able to take on," she said.

Reveley is set to make a chaperoned step on to the international stage next month, visiting casting agents in New York.

The translation there is, "I'm not going to throw her in the deep end because unlike Alice, she does not have what it takes to be an actual top model. We've got some great Big W catalogue jobs that will look just darling on her."

Or so I'm told.

After numerous "OMG TOO YOUNG" scandals in the modelling world over the past year (most recently Polish teenager - like, a fourteen year old teenager - "Jak" posing in a swimsuit in the bathtub), it seems David Jones are keen to cover their arses in advance of their Summer Collection parades. In other words, they've introduced an '18 and over' policy for their runway models.

"It is a really good thing, and terrific David Jones has gone on the front foot," Kathy Ward from Sydney-based modelling agency Chic management said last night.

"It will be a disappointment to some of the girls because they are so keen and being on the catwalk for someone like David Jones is a fantastic experience," she said.

"However it is a positive move and one that is good for the industry."

Ms Ward said she would have to inform some of her models who had already auditioned for this season's catwalk that they would no longer be eligible.

"I only found out myself yesterday and they will be let down.

"But it's a good thing. The girls have to be mature and finish school and I see nothing negative in DJ's move."

Yes, it's very sad for the poor little baby models and everything, but seriously? FINALLY! I for one am sick of children selling me adult clothes - at least 18 year olds are somewhat more equipped to shop in the grown-up section at DJs, which is what the Summer (and Winter) Collection parades are advertising!

Briefly in the last flurry of post-show Australia's Next Top Model news, Melbourne girl and second runner-up Samantha Downie, who many were surprised to see booted in favour of Demelza, has already signed to Priscillas (i.e. the agency that takes on the winner) and booked her first campaign, presumably before Demelza has even had her post-party Berocca.

From the Herald Sun:

The Melbourne Uni student emerged yesterday as the dark horse of the contest after it was revealed model agent Priscilla Leighton Clarke signed her weeks before the program ended. Downie is the face of designer Gail Elliott's brand, Little Joe.

Elliott, who befriended Cindy Crawford, knows what makes a top model.

"She told me I was her favourite, and not to worry about coming third because my career was going to go just as far," Downie cooed.

Well, just as far as what - a hurried Vogue shoot, maybe a Just Jeans catalogue, and then a spot on Where Are They Now? in ten years time? Don't sell yourself so short, Sam.

There's nothing more delicious than a model/journalist (the rarer subgenre of the model/actress, model/musician, model/fashion designer, or my personal favourite, the MAW - model/actress/whatever), so I was thrilled to see Jennifer Hawkins had been given a guest's desk at the Daily Telegraph to write an Bronte-esque missive about her date with Chris "Mr Big" Noth.

Here's what Australia's latest poet laureate has to say:

Before the party started I got to chat with him about the movie, his visit to Sydney and travelling the world.

He'd heard I was going to Paris on Saturday, for the Dior fashion shows, and he suggested a few restaurants to go to.

He'd been there filming scenes for Sex And The City and knew all the right places to eat.

He tried to change my mind about eating escargot (snails).

I've tried them and know they're a delicacy, but as I told him, I just didn't like them.

Mmm... dark. "I just didn't like them" - you can imagine thunder crashing and dark, ominous clouds rolling in over the moors of, er, Bondi Beach, can't you?

And just when you think you can't take any more, she brings it all home with this stunning closing couplet:

He seems really free-spirited and told me he wished he hadn't been so jet-lagged the last time he was in Australia for the Logies.

Still, watching him meet-and-greet everyone last night I'm pretty sure he'll make the most of his time in this city.

"In this city"! Geddit? It sounds a bit like "Sex And The City"!

Can we sort out a column for J-Hawk now that Bec Hewitt has flown the 'My Pregnancy/Marriage/Baby/Drug/Lawnmowing/Three-Piece Lounge Suite Hell' coop? See to it, there's a good man.

While the actors, writers and sportspeople Australia spits out and sends overseas might not always end up kicking goals, if there's one area in which we are leading the field (well, right behind, say, the entire Eastern Europe region) it's fashion modelling.

As Confidential notes today, Catherine McNeil is the latest expat to wow the modelling world - except, they're sort of a bit behind the eight ball. McNeil has been going gangbusters for the past twelve-plus-months, shooting numerous campaigns and covers (including a handful of Vogues) and walking for pretty much everyone. Here's what Models.com (the "NASDAQ of modelling") has to say about our Cath in their Top 50 Models death match, where she has been at #9 for the past few weeks:

She has the height, the body, the skin, the hair and the presence of a major new star in the business.

Now Catherine McNeil is poised to have a landmark campaign and editorial season and we can't wait to see the first burst of blue chip imagery.

Translated for non-fashionistas, that means "She's heaps good and she's going to make a stack of mad cash and we're looking forward to perving on her new pics".

Or words to that effect. Er, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

We told you a week or so ago about Daniel Johns' new lady love, Up And Coming Model™ Louise Van de Vorst; both parties remained tight-lipped on the new romance - which is off to a flying start only six months since Johns' divorce from Natalie "Boog" Imbruglia.

Tight-lipped, that is, until someone waved a tape-recorder near Louise, who in typical Up And Coming Model™ fashion, couldn't help but spill a few loving words about her APRA and ARIA winning mans.

She was one of 15 models who made the early morning call for a Sportsgirl shoot, to launch their new super flagship stores, at Fox Studios in Moore Park.

And it wasn't just the body make-up that had the bikini-clad 20-year-old glowing, with Van de Vorst saying she is over the moon about her new relationship with the Silverchair singer.

"I'm really super happy," she said.

...

While Van de Vorst didn't do the red carpet at the APRA awards on Wednesday night with Johns, she was still boasting about the stash of three awards he brought back to their Hilton hotel suite.

"I'm really proud of him," she gushed. "He's very talented."

If there was an implied ending to that article after the mention of the Hilton, it's likely it was something only the sensitive radars of Boog would've picked up: "...he brought back to their Hilton hotel suite, where they then bonked like crazy people for approximately eight hours while bathing in a shower of Moet & Chandon and diamonds, before Johns got out of bed at 11am to write a song about how his new girlfriend is so much better than his ex-wife."

Right around the time he was crowned the most recent Cleo Bachelor Of The Year, MTV Australia dude Jason Dundas had just suffered the indignity of having free-spirited whale lover Isabel Lucas slip through his fingers and into Adrian Grenier's 5000-thread-count organic hemp sheets.

As though that wasn't bad enough, now the poor sod's sometime girlfriend, model and INXS spawn April Rose Pengilly, is out the door and being seen about town with Australia's Next Top Model "mentor", Jonathon Pease (that's them in the pic; incidentally, does anyone else feel vaguely queasy about that?), leaving Dundas very much a Bachelor through and through.

Just a week after Dundas and Pengilly's romance was splashed over the pages of Who magazine, the daughter of INXS guitarist Kirk yesterday confirmed her new romance with Australia's Next Top Model mentor Jonathan Pease.

After being busted by a Confidential spy snogging across the table at Establishment restaurant Sushi E last week, Pengilly and Pease were snapped out together as they attended the Sydney Film Festival premiere of In Bruges at the State Theatre on Saturday night.

The couple then kicked on with friends including Channel 7 weathergirl Sara Groen at Kings Cross haunt Piano Bar before leaving hand in hand about 1.30am.

Poor Jason; given that in previous years the Cleo Bachelor hasn't actually been, you know, a bachelor (step right up, Mr Andrew "Long Term Long Distance Love Affair" G and Mr Andy "Megan Gale" Lee), he must've been hoping the crown would just be his reliable poon tang safety net, not a life sentence.

Here's something from the totally shocking news department: Naomi Campbell has been charged with assault!

And here I was thinking she'd been spending her days looking after orphaned crippled children and playing with defenseless little kittens in a field full of daisies and baby animals under a pretty rainbow in Candy Land near the Sea Of Happiness.

I guess we all get misinformed sometimes.

Campbell, 37, was taken off a British Airways plane by officers on April 3 after she boarded a flight to Los Angeles in the United States and was told before takeoff that one of her bags was missing.

She is charged with five offences - three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behaviour to cabin crew.

Campbell will appear in court in west London on June 20, her lawyer Simon Nicholls said, after she answered bail at Heathrow's police station.

If found guilty, she could face up to six months in prison and/or a fine of several thousand pounds.

So what does Naomi Campbell do when she's arrested as far as her 'one phone call' is concerned? Do they stick two Glad-Wrap core rolls to the phone (one for the ear, one for the mouth) and keep her handcuffed so she can't pick it up and throw it at someone?