After the whole 'Amy rushed to hospital for a "reaction to some medication"' kerfuffle last week, which left most sane humans wondering what "reaction to some medication" was the new euphemism for, it's good to see that Dad Winehouse has aired his thoughts on the reason for his daughter's emergency admittance.

In short, he reckons someone spiked her drink with ecstasy. Ohhh Mitch, you keep dreamin', old son.

A source said: 'Mitch is furious. He's certain someone put E in Amy's drink - and he's determined to get to the bottom of it.

'He is convinced that one of her hangers-on was responsible and he's waiting for a toxicology report to show what caused her to have a fit.

If by "put E in Amy's drink" he means "Amy put the crack in her pipe", then I'd support Mitch's reasoning fully. Unfortunately, one suspects the reality in this case is somewhat less, well, passive. Shall we all synchronise watches for the next Winegums drug freak-out?

Look, I know it's never big nor cool to mock the afflicted, and I'm sure Winegums' whole "OMG rushed to hospital" ordeal was, like, totally nail-biting, but I couldn't help but laugh at dad Mitch Winehouse's apparent exclamations to the crowd that gathered as Amy was being poured into the ambulance the other day, because, well, you'll work it out:

Distraught Mitch, 54, was heard shouting: "She's f***** up, she's f***** up," The Sun newspaper in England reported.

What the Sun nor news.com.au didn't clear up was whether he was shouting that in relation to her hospitalisation, or whether he was just making a general statement about Amy's day to day life.

You know, I'm starting to worry that covering Winegums Watch is desensitising me; I think the signs are there - the other day I bit the head off a fluffy kitten and spat it in the face of some children suffering from incurable diseases, and all I wanted to do afterwards was body shots. Then I punched a hole in the side of a church collections box and spent the money on Mad Magazine. What the hell is happening to me?

The last time, if I remember correctly, that we saw the family Winehouse out and about together was after Amy won her Grammy Awards earlier in the year. So it was lovely to log on to The Daily Mail this morning and see them all having a ball together... except, hang on, something's not quite right with Amy:

Fooled you all, it's a wax dummy! Winehouse has been Tussauds'd!

Amy Winehouse's parents Mitch and Janis unveiled a wax figure of the troubled singer - complete with trademark beehive and sailor tattoos - at London's Madame Tussauds today.

But observers couldn't help but note the 6ft dummy was a rather flattering depiction of the 26-year-old - her scratched, red raw arms and scabby skin glossed over by sculptors.

The discrepancy wasn't lost on her father, who later told GMTV: 'We're going to take this one home with us and send the real one back.'

That's the spirit, Dad! Meanwhile, where's your living, breathing daughter? What's that, wasted on crack and talking to a fire hydrant she thinks is a McDonalds employee?

Carry on, then!

You know, the bulk of Winegums Watch has consisted of "Ohh Ammmyyyy!"-style pieces about the Troubled™ singer getting back on her feet and then falling down twice as hard again, then getting back on her feet again, and so on and so tiresome, but this past week has felt worryingly like it might be headed towards some actual news - and, like most things to do with Amy over the last year or so, sadly it is not good.

It looks like Amy's mysterious collapse - which everyone was quick (myself included!) to laff up and blame on the crack pipe - has led to a more sinister diagnosis. If we are to believe dad Mitch, it looks as though Amy has emphysema.

In an emotional interview the cab driver told how doctors have warned his daughter - who was rushed to hospital last week - that she may be forced to wear a permanent oxygen mask to survive if she doesn't follow medical advice.

'To think this could be my beautiful 24-year-old daughter's life is preposterous. But if drugs mean more to her than breathing properly, then so be it.

'But the doctors have told her if she goes back to smoking drugs it won't just ruin her voice, it will kill her.' He said.

Winehouse collapsed at her North London home last week and was taken for tests at a London hospital by her father.

You know, I've probably said words to the effect of "this should be the wake-up call she needs" approximately 126 times throughout the history of Winegums Watch, but if those words ever needed to be reiterated, it would be now.

Here's hoping the name "Amy Winehouse" doesn't come to be associated forever with the phrase "tragic waste of talent", and that she gets the help she needs. For serious this time.

We've always gone in to bat when it comes to Dad Winehouse, aka Mitch, as he clearly has Amy's best interests at heart (he certainly doesn't seem to hail from the Culkin/Barrymore/Lohan school of parenting).

Well, he's now come out and opined that perhaps some of Amy's pain comes from the protracted affair he conducted when Winegums was younger (with a woman he would later leave Ma Winehouse, Janis, for and marry).

Mr Winehouse said he thought at the time that Amy had forgiven his deception and coped with her parents splitting up.

He told a BBC programme: "I should have left earlier, I should have left sooner. There was not really a negative response from Amy (when I left), but she definitely became a lot more independent.

"Perhaps deep down she felt her parents were splitting up, she could not rely on them to stay together and that it was about time she learned to look after herself.

"I thought Amy was over it pretty quickly - in fact it felt at the time Amy felt no effect at all.

"Maybe she could not articulate it in words, but she certainly did it with music."

So, hang on, in talking about how he thinks he's partly to blame for Amy's troubles, he says that she coped well with the breakup? Hmm.

In any case, we're pleased to see that Mitch and Janis are taking a more active role in Amy's life after their misguided "we'll just wait for her to come home" routine of a few months ago. Perhaps Mitch can have a few words with Jamie Spears about this sort of stuff.

Amy "I Killed A Man In Prison Just To Watch Him Suffer" Winehouse is perhaps these days as well known for her Drug Hell and accompanying 'personal issues' as she is for her music, which - until the Grammys just past - seemed to be taking a backseat to the increasingly soap opera-esque events of her personal life.

Well, let Dad Mitch Winehouse take you back to a more innocent time, a time pre-Blake Fielder-Civil, when Mitch claims Amy wouldn't have dreamed of touching hard drugs.

You see? We told you it was his fault. Blake, that is, not Mitch.

Amy Winehouse's father Mitch has blamed his jailed son-in-law for his daughter's addiction to class A drugs.

While Mitch concedes Blake Fielder-Civil is "not entirely responsible" for Amy's drug problems, he believes they worsened after the two married last year.

Before getting together with Blake, Amy had told her dad she thought class A drugs were "for mugs".

Blake, 25, is currently languishing in London's Pentonville prison awaiting trial for GBH and alleged trial fixing.

In an interview with Closer magazine, Mitch said: "He's not entirely responsible, she's got to take a portion of the responsibility, but it's clear, it really kicked off when they got together."

There are also some heartwarming words from Winegums' mum, Janis, who maintains that Amy is a free spirit who just wants to try everything (including a worrying childhood foray into shrooming):

"Amy's a survivor. I've had enough silly childhood things to know that - she once ate a toadstool in the garden when she was a toddler.

"She's always wanted to taste, try, understand everything at every level all her life - I guess it feeds her creativity.

"She has a true passion for life. And Ribena. And ice pops and chocolates!"

Well, isn't that just sweet. All we need to do is make sure Amy is kitted out with tooth-rotting sweet cordials and lollies and everything should be right as rain!