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Shrek 4 Audio Booth Secrets Are The First Casualties Of Hollywood’s War On Twitter

3:11AM Richard Rushfield | Last week, we reported that Hollywood has begun taking steps to wipe out the first outbreak of free-speech showbiz has seen since the Hays Code, eradicating the threat of stars communicating directly and banally to the public via Twitter. More »

Mike Myers Extends Comedy Hiatus, Joins ‘Inglorious Bastards’ Cast

4:05AM STV | Overbearing hype aside, Inglorious Bastards really wouldn’t be a Quentin Tarantino film unless he revived at least one moribund career in the process. Enter Mike Myers, who is now confirmed to play British Gen. Ed Fenech, “a military mastermind who takes part in hatching a plot to wipe out Nazi leaders.” It’s a relatively small part, we’re now told, with Fenech featured on only seven pages — 29 lines total — recruiting a Nazi killer reportedly tailored for Simon Pegg, who has yet to be officially attached.

Billy Bob Thornton ‘Elm Street’ Rumours Spark Defamer Casting Frenzy

6:50AM STV | The day’s fastest-spreading casting rumour intrigues as much for its potential for on-screen carnage as its requisite off-screen tragedy: The man who originated Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare on Elm Street has Billy Bob Thornton pegged to portray the razor-fingered villain in a planned remake. Robert Englund doesn’t sound too upset about it, either, informing JoBlo that the Michael Bay-produced reimagining would treat Wes Craven’s original with the hacky, high-gloss dignity it deserved 25 years ago. Englund stopped short of suggesting he’d join the film, of course, lest he subject himself to Thornton’s infamous scythe-handling clumsiness. More »

Deepak Chopra Comes Clean, Admits He Hated ‘Love Guru’

2:20AM STV | It seems like only yesterday that Deepak Chopra flexed his philosophical muscle in the name of The Love Guru, deflecting rumours of its anti-Hindu undercurrents in a zinger of an essay on BeliefNet: “Silliness often has wisdom hidden just beneath the surface — perhaps The Love Guru will, also, since Myers laced his Austin Powers farce with a message about tolerance — but if you can’t accept silliness in the first place, you are likely to be immune to wisdom, too.”

The Death of ‘Austin Powers’ (And Six More Hobbled Franchises Worth Putting Down)

3:00AM STV | After the unfortunate reception for The Love Guru, it’s just too easy to write off New Line’s prospective Austin Powers revival (which Mike Myers is reportedly working on for New Line with former series collaborator Mike McCullers) as yet another ill-advised folly belching the black smoke of Myers’s career. In fact, taken as merely a part of the larger phenomenon we at Defamer like to call The End of Ideas, the Powers franchise is but a speck of the shit on Hollywood’s collective bathroom wall — a tableau diligently studied today by the haz-mat crew at Entertainment Weekly.

Big Brother’s Great Grandpa Will Mess You Up, Son

11:20AM Seth | · And now for some non-earthquake-related Big Brother rumbles: In one corner, we have 75-year-old contestant (and the oldest person on CBS since Murder, She Wrote), Jerry. In the other, we have professional “mixologist” Memphis, precisely one-third Jerry’s age. We won’t tell you how it plays out, except to say so long as you’re glimpsing three-quarters-of-a-century-old armpit, Jerry’s winning. [Big Brother] · A fourth Austin Powers is reportedly being written by Mike Myers. It’s a “very personal [take] with a father and son theme loosely based on his own life,” meaning it’s sure to feature a scene in which the old Mini Me is tossed around in the backyard. [Deadline Hollywood] · In honour of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, a chat with a Great White. [edithzimmerman.com] · Hitting every stop on the Interactive Ben Kingsley Accent Map would wear out even the sturdiest Amazing Race contestants. [bestweekever.tv] · Hey—bear running around a track in high heels! [Jezebel]

Will Smith Up, Ladies Down on Forbes’s Annual List of Stupid-Rich Stars

7:50AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s that time of year again, when Hollywood’s biggest stars harvest their multiplex crops, drop the hammer on their mums and size up their places among Forbes’s annual list of highest-paid movie stars. As we’ve come to expect, it’s Will Smith’s world, with the megastar and noted Scientology-school patron raking in $80 million since last June; the remainder of the list comprises mainstays like Johnny Depp ($72 million) and Leonardo DiCaprio ($45 million) along with slip-sliding shockers including Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, each tied at $55 million thanks in large part to the Shrek franchise’s enduring success.

Verne Troyer’s Tribute to Heath Ledger Overshadowed by Potential For Ex-Strangling

2:10AM Defamer Hollywood | Life is rough these days for Verne Troyer, the diminutive, sex-tape-making, back-tax-owing (allegedly), bomb-starring actor whose bout with the tabloids took an introspective turn Tuesday in an interview with E! Denying he had anything to do with the “unauthorized” release of his videotaped tongue-stabbing of ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider, a sober Troyer inventoried Shrider’s motivations for supposedly dropping the tryst at TMZ’s doorstep — and, in the process, both defused and started harrowing rumours we could have gone the rest of our lives without conjuring: More »

The Law of Diminishing Mike Myers Comedy Returns

3:45AM Seth | It occurred to us here at Defamer HQ that The Love Guru—by all accounts, the most execrable film sediment to coat our cultural shores in eons—marks something of an Unfunniness Benchmark for its dwarfhandling star, Mike Myers. Which got us a-thinking: Was he ever funny? What if we could map the relative comedic trajectory of his collected oeuvre over time and space, in a scientifically controlled environment? More »

It’s Official: Mike Myers and Rest of ‘Love Guru’ Principals Doomed to 1,000 Years in Hell

8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | We were sorry to read this week about the certain fiery purgatory awaiting slumping star Mike Myers, pregnant newlywed Jessica Alba and the rest of those associated with the production of The Love Guru, Myers’ new “comedy” that drew such scorn last month from spiritual leaders around the country. We now learn that after a bit more finger-wagging and number-crunching, a dreadful trailer is the least the principals — and its viewers — have to worry about: More »