mike darnell

Mike Darnell’s Near-Perfect Batting Average Muffed By Passing On ‘Big Brother: Muppet Edition’

2:35AM Seth | Mike Darnell is the undisputed evil genius of reality TV, a fiendish Rumplestiltskin installed high atop a Fox tower, where he oversees day-to-day operations of that network’s Dept. of Non-Scripted, Deluge-Summoning Entertainment. Ask anyone who has witnessed Darnell in action, and they’ll describe how his mind never stops churning, processing the virtually limitless combinations of millionaires/ abandoned daughters/ homely women he can sequester on islands/ McMansions/ lie-detector-equipped soundstages, confident America will tune in to find out if they forget the lyrics/survive that reindeer attack/are dumber than a 5th grader. THR sat down with Darnell to find out what makes Satan’s Primetime Minion tick: More »

‘Moment of Truth’ Creepily Obsessed With Dudes Who Stuff Their Shorts

7:22AM Mark | Even if Fox’s The Moment Truth never lives up to its Apocalypse-beckoning advance billing , the show will have provided a valuable service to the very society it’s so far failed to destroy in exposing a disturbing deception far more widespread than we ever could have imagined: the artificial enhancement of male “packages” by means of designer jean/Dockers/mankini stuffing. More »

Fox’s Evil Reality TV Mastermind Salivates At Very Thought Of Controversial Lie-Detector Show

8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | In a mere two months, Fox President of Alternative Entertainment and Apocalypse-Beckoning Nonscripted Programming Mike Darnell will proudly debut his latest reality-TV abomination, The Moment of Truth, in which contestants are hooked up to a polygraph, asked a number of revealing personal questions, and then watch as their lives quickly disintegrate when millions of viewers listen to them sheepishly admit that they’re no longer sexually attracted to their aging spouses. In an interview with TV Week, a giddy, tumescent Darnell shares that his naughty places haven’t tingled like this since he tricked a mansion full of gold-digging women into believing that a dimwitted, part-time banana-hammock model was a filthy rich heir looking for a soulmate to help him enjoy his family fortune: “Last time I felt like this was before ‘Joe Millionaire,’” said Mike Darnell, sitting in his office wearing his trademark cowboy boots. More »

Trade Roundup: Zellweger To Be Sassy, Tough In Western

6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | · Renee Zellweger will star with Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris in the western Appaloosa, which we hope will provide ample opportunity for a spunky, bonnet-rocking Zellweger to fire a shotgun and exclaim, “You git outta my town, ya hear?” in the direction of the movie’s “renegade rancher” antagonist. We love it when she does period gritty. [Variety] · Fox’s apocalypse-quickening reality TV guru Mike Darnell consolidates his power within the network by signing a new multiyear deal, officially giving him more autonomy to launch unscripted programming without the interference of other executives who believe that shows like Are You Smarter Than This Recent Massive Head Trauma Victim? might push the envelope a little too far. [THR] · New Line’s Russell Schwartz is ankling as the studio’s head of marketing. We just hope that his replacement demonstrates a similar level of vision that will allow future, groundbreaking online promotions involving the performance of virtual cunnilingus on their movie heroes’ wives. [Variety] · Local news icon Hal Fishman, KTLA’s anchor of more than 30 years, dies at 75. [THR] · AMPAS is banning the mailing of For Your Consideration film score and song CDs, decreeing that the music needs to be evaluated in the context of the movie. Composers and studio music execs have begun the process of formally expressing their outrage, possibly by the mass burning of FYC screenplays in protest of the “out of context” principle that might limit voter access to their work. [Variety] More »

Strike TV Schedule To Make Current Summer Wasteland Look Like Golden Age

3:48AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s been way too long since we’ve read a good story hinting at the unspeakable horrors that would inevitably follow a potential Writers Guild strike, but today’s Variety piece on how a work stoppage will impact reality TV production has at least temporarily given us the testicle-retracting scare we’ve been craving. While Var says that it’s “not necessarily the case” that a strike would good for the unscripted sector, it’s impossible not to imagine the networks quickly devolving from the mere reality-riddled disappointments they currently are into full-blown, post-Apocalyptic, Mark-Burnett-controlled hellscapes in which nary a union writer credit will be found: “I don’t know that a strike is going to be a gold mine for reality producers,” says one network vet, who, like most people interviewed for this story, asked not to be identified by name. “We’re going to go to reality, I’m sure,” the exec says. “But I’m not sure we’ll be able to get away with doing that much more than we’re already doing.” [...] More »