michael vartan

Can You Help Fernando Verdasco’s Publicist?

4:03PM Jess McGuire | Last time I took Noiseworks’ advice and attempted to “reach out and touch somebody” by doing a good deed, it resulted in Larry Emdur emailing me and offering to be my personal assistant (well, that’s how I choose to remember it). So because I am selfish, I am going to do another good deed on the off chance it benefits me later on. I received the following urgent sounding missive from claiming to be the PR lady for tennis player Fernando Verdasco (I had to Google his name to work out that was his occupation, you know – I am so out of the loop) and I’m not going to lie to you, it touched my heart. It starts breathlessly - This is insane, never reached to anyone in Australia with paparazzi or press or whatever but hello!!! - and then launches into the asking of favours. More »

Suzie Wilkes Lands ‘Alias’ Spunk Michael Vartan Using Feminine Wiles, Her DIY Know-How, And A Shared Love Of Canines

11:25AM Jess McGuire | When we heard Michael Vartan was looking for an Australian woman to mate with and thus justify the expense and trouble of an international relocation to his new favourite place on earth, we figured he’s probably do an AJ Buckley and score himself a Home & Away starlet… or, if hard pressed, one of McLeod’s 8,43 daughters. But no! Apparently he’s more interested in the dog-loving ways of Suzie Wilkes. Says the Daily Telegraph… Vartan, who has become a regular down under, was overheard asking the former Changing Rooms chick for her number and questioning whether she would be interested in dinner. The couple, both animal lovers, bonded over a shared love of dogs. The American has said the one thing stopping him from upping stumps and moving to Australia is the strict quarantine restrictions surrounding the importing of pets. It’d be worth the effort, Michael. One of us! One of us! Also, we found this forum topic “interesting” – Does Suzie Wilkes like bumsex? No answers there, alas – but we do learn that a commenter wants “to do her up the bumhole”. More »

Greg Mclean Is A Caring, Sympathetic Director

1:00PM Clem Bastow | Wolf Creek director Greg McClean’s follow-up frightfest Rogue is hitting the cinemas today. The old-school-ish “nature peril” flick, features over-sized crocodiles gobbling up Northern Territory tourists while a cast of all-good Aussies give their best Mick Dundee impressions, so it should be another winner for the filmmaker. (Incidentally, the NT’s tourism commission must be delighted with all this great publicity McClean’s giving them; first psychotic rapists/murderers and now killer crocs! Sure beats Daryl Somers standing in front of Uluru and chuckling, “You’ll never, never know if you never, never go”!) This junket story has the usual “oh the laughs we had” fluff that comes with a movie premiere, but we couldn’t help but feel a lovely bit of schadenfreude at McClean’s obvious delight in putting US import and star Michael Vartan through his paces: “Michael had just come out from America and was scared of spiders, snakes – all animals really – so it was a new experience for him,” [Radha] Mitchell, 33, explains. McLean adds: “I realised very quickly he would be great for the character. “He is from LA, he’s never been to Australia and had no idea what the Outback was. When we arrived in the Northern Territory, that’s when he realised it was real. It was a huge shock for him, I mean here he was on a boat with real crocodiles and Radha Mitchell driving and she couldn’t drive a boat. It was very different to anything he has ever done in America.” That’s the spirit, Greg! Hopefully they also took Vartan to some only-accessible-by-road-train pub and made him shotgun a few Fosters, before telling him that “all Australians” eat kangaroo balls while threatening him with a sugarcane machete. More »