men’s mags
Zoo Magazine In Being-Tools “Shock”
12:45PM Clem Bastow | Well, this is surprising news for a Monday! After pulling such witty publicity stunts as offering a reader a boob job and searching for the hottest feminist, Zoo Weekly have come up with another hilarious competition: win a divorce!
That’s right, as their website reads, “Tired of being shackled to the woman of your nightmares? Want to break free from the rut of married life? Then enter our Win a Divorce Competition!”
Here’s what editor Paul Merrill says:
“When a marriage fails it’s always sad but what’s even sadder is being stuck under the same roof as someone who’s shagged your best mate or something.
“This is hopefully going to encourage people to see the error of their ways and get out rather than put up with 40 years of misery.”
Asked if the competition could be viewed as encouraging divorce, Merrill said: “You’d have to be pretty nutty to enter a competition to win a divorce if you’re happily married.”
Oh, we get it – it’s a humanitarian effort! They’re trying to help these guys. How sensitive of them!
Call us cynics, but we’d hazard a guess that not only is a large slice of the Zoo readership probably unmarried, we suspect some of them may actually have never felt the touch of a female human! More » 
“Intellegent” Lara Bingle To Revive Flagging Fhm Empire
10:26AM Clem Bastow | We’re fascinated by Lara Bingle here at Defamer Australia, though – it must be said – largely not because of her brainpower (really, who are we kidding – it’s because of her norks).
So, we stifled more than a few guffaws when we read this morning that FHM, which is struggling for sales in the face of classier mens’ rags like GQ and Men’s Style, is apparently after Lara for a revamped style of photoshoot, to treat both model and reader with a little more intelligence.
Except, what’s that? Apparently when it comes to News Ltd, FHM and Lara Bingle, there’s no “i” in “team”, and neither is there a second one in “intelligent”:
But wait, there’s more! It are evun moar intellegent!
Oh dear. We know that News Ltd’s brilliance has little do do with FHM, but this sort of publicity – when you’ve just tanked $1m in phone sex advertising in order to lift the tone of your mag, and are talking about stories being written more “intelligently” – doesn’t really bode well for your revamp. More » 
We Are Quite Certain That, In All Her Achievements, Julia Gillard Is Most Proud Of This One
10:27AM Clem Bastow | Oh, those wacky types over at the land of blokes’ mags, what will they think of next?
In this case, the rib-ticklingly, gob-smackingly hilarious move of Ralph bringing our beloved ranga Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, in at equal 2nd place as “Sexiest Woman” in their annual awards evening, which we’re sure was as classy as the mag what birthed it.
Clearly there are a few Labor voters in the Ralph office, with Julia Gillard named runner-up in the sexiest woman category in the lads mag’s annual awards last night.
The deputy PM and singer Rihanna tied for silver behind Myer model Jennifer Hawkins in the category.
It’s clearly a gag because, in the case of reader-voted countdowns, like FHM’s annual 100 Sexiest list, the joke votes (Sandra Sully, Pauline Hanson, Irene from Home & Away) will usually loiter around the non-prize-winning end of the poll – thus, this is clearly an ironic jab at Gillard, because there’s nothing male media outlets like to do more when it comes to female politicians than to have a go at their personal appearance.
What a cack, eh lads? More » 
One Week Into “I Slimmed Down For My Health” Campaign, Lily Allen Capitulates To The Blokes Mags’ Steely Gaze
10:52AM Clem Bastow | Well, that was short-lived, wasn’t it?
Last week, Lily Allen explained away her new figure as the byproduct of her new health regime after doctors diagnosed her with an irregular heartbeat. She was very careful not to make it out that she thinks thin is better, or that she thought her body was “wrong” or “bad” before the overhaul, or that she did it for anyone else’s benefit.
Presumably Lily will be eating those words with fava beans and a nice Chianti now she’s plastered all over this month’s UK edition of GQ.
She explains how many of her high profile feuds – she has rowed with the members of Girls Aloud among others – were fueled by insecurities about her appearance.
She told the magazine: “A lot of that stuff I said was because I didn’t feel confident.
“I felt like, ‘Oh God, I’m short, fat, ugly…and I hate all these people who flaunt their beauty’.
“Ever since a kid I’ve felt like I’m possibly the uncoolest, naffest person ever to walk the earth.”
Right, so she thought she was fat and ugly, and now that she’s skinny and hot, the best thing to do would be to celebrate that within the pages of a glossy men’s magazine?
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? More » 