Behind every great man is a great mom—and no one knows that more than Tropic Thunder star Matthew McConaughey, who appears to have chosen a perfectly lovely one to bear him a son, suitable for toting to red carpet events and John Mellencamp concerts in a Coleman beer cooler. But what of McConaughey himself? To whom can we attribute his uncompromisingly freewheeling spirit, his Southern sophistication, and, yes, his undeniable sexual ferocity? To put it a little more floridly: Who planted little Matthew's placenta beneath a tree, and tended to it lovingly until it bore fruit? We now have an answer:

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There's something about Hollywood dads and afterbirth. Unlike Tom Cruise, who greedily pledged to gobble up every last drop of the nutrient-rich biological matter, however, Matthew McConaughey instead told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta that he has something far eco-friendlier planned for his own son's:

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Today brings the joyous news that ovary-shaking Idol demigod Clay Aiken has become a father to a healthy baby boy through the miracle of cutting edge fertilization techniques (the specs of how it was all accomplished are available here, if you care). In honour of this most improbable celebrity parenthood, we thought we'd compare and contrast Clay's siring achievement to that of another unlikely new dad, Matthew McConaughey:

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· If it weren't for Dark Knight news, there wouldn't have been much news at all. After dispatching the Joker, Batman took on his toughest foe to date, the deranged Momzo The Clown (specialty: extortion). Batman denies all of the charges, which is just fine with new Oscar frontrunner Aaron Eckhart.
· NBC announced that Jay Leno will be abdicating his Tonight Show throne on May 29, 2009 while a disguised Jay Leno sat in the audience cracking wise. Meanwhile, Jimmy Fallon will be spinning his wheels online for a few months before they let him loose on air.
· Miley "Slut!" Cyrus took to the YouTubes to wage war on her new rival, Selena Gomez.
· If you come within 1,000 yards of Brangelina's test tube babies, Brad Pitt will beat you to a pulp.
· We finally learned what Judd Apatow's favourite season of The Wire was.
· Surfer dude Matthew McConaughey cashed a $3 million check from OK! for baby pictures of young prince Levi.
· Maybe it's just us, but Lyons & Mankiewicz doesn't quite have the same ring as Ebert & Roeper (let alone Siskel & Ebert).
· Cuts at Vantage and Netflix made it another tough week for indie film.
· Fer sure, fer sure, we counted down our favourite Valley Girls.
· Don't bother with MapQuest, NPH can tell you how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.
· And finally, the passing of Estelle Getty affected everyone, from teary YouTube eulogists to our own Molly McAleer. The saddest part? None of the Golden Girls made it to the funeral. Nevertheless, the memory of Sophia Petrillo will always live on.

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· Ever since Neil Patrick Harris warned told the world back in February that he would be appearing as The Shoe Fairy on an episode of Sesame Street, we have been waiting for the mystical unicorn rider to appear on our local PBS affiliate. Fortunately for all of us, our long wait is now over. And while we are slightly sad to report that this clip does not have him uttering the line "I am the greatest fairy in all the land" (that bon mot must've landed on the cutting room floor), we have better news to share. Prepare yourselves for ... a musical number! [Sesame Street]
· While we were excited to introduce you to young Levi Alves McConaughey earlier today, a closer look at the photos shows that America's youngest stoner is already developing some rippling abs! [Best Week Ever]
· In the upcoming remake of Friday The 13th, Jason Voorhees has a mullet. This does not bode well. [Friday The 13th Blog]
· Is the bloom off Joss Whedon's rose? We'll always love and revere him for BtVS, but after getting feedback from the suits at Fox about the pilot episode he shot for Dollhouse, he's going back to the drawing board to rescript and reshoot the whole damn thing. [Vulture]
· Thankfully, this season's TCA press tour has come to a close. THR's James Hibberd put together an easy-to-digest recap, which features this refreshingly honest description from the EP of the new Crash television series about how his show will differ from its Academy Award winning source material: "I didn't want the series to feel somber. Or didactic. Or heavy handed. This is a fun show. The show is not bleak. Or depressing." We're sure Paul Haggis would agree. [The Live Feed]

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We forwarded Matthew McConaughey's people your favourite suggestions of Bongo Romcom and Miller Chill, but it seems he chose to go the Old Timey Gold Prospector route, and named his son Levi Alves. The OK! magazine exclusive currently gracing Gelson's checkout aisles and 7-Eleven service counters reportedly netted McConaughey $3 million; paired with the earnings from his Beef Guild spots, this additional income allows the actor the freedom to pursue smaller passion projects like Surfer, Dude. Flanked on the cover by girlfriend Camila Alves and tiny, perfect Levi, McConaughey still manages to maintain sultry eye-contact with the camera, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a dad. But I'm not dead. Catch my drift? Is anyone else's shirt chaffing them? Boy, I could sure go for a lobster roll. Is there a clam shack in the area?" McConaughey explained to the magazine how the delivery room was transformed into an flip-flop-devouring bongo-vortex:

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In the latest issue of W, cover girl Penelope Cruz assures the reporter that she "never talk[s] about her private life to journalists...NEVER," Of course, a few grafs above, the pretty little beard-candy spends much of the interview talking, in great detail, about the most private of private issues we didn't even know we wanted to know! Penelope's "inner monsters" that have ruined her so-called relationships, why "sweating and bleeding" is her idea of "happiness," and far more after the jump:

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· Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno exploits took him from Israel to Arkansas; his Sherlock Holmes adventures to come may or may not include the missus.
· AFTRA ratified its new contract, but SAG didn't let that spoil its appetite for destruction.
· Harvey Weinstein is now officially going door-to-door to finance his films. Psst! Buddy! Wanna buy a Tarantino?
· The TV Critics Association Press Tour is dead. Long live the TCA Press Tour!
· Lest major Dark Knight spoilers aren't up your alley, there's always Michael Bay's unproduced Awesome Knight screenplay to hold you over another week.
· After a long string of compatibility issues, Drew Barrymore is on the market for a Mac huckster upgrade.
· This Week In Magazine Cover Hell: Blake Lively gets the blown-out Skeletor treatment, while the pasty youths of Twilight make EW safe for chest hair.
· Here's the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely RRRAAALLLLPPPHHHHH
· Defamer's readers joined Matthew McConaughey in welcoming a bouncing Bongo Romcom to the world.
· Meanwhile in France, stinky, salmon-devouring, "high-maintenance beetch" Angelina Jolie prepared her post-twinbirth conditioning regimen. Two words: Hula hoop.
· Pick your reality TV poison for 2009: America's Greatest Dog or The Ashley Dupre Governor Boink Variety Hour.
· We wished a healthy recovery (literally) to the rat-friendly Newsroom Cafe, and bid a fond farewell to J-Lo's slice of Pasadena paradise, Madre's.

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Ah, the three trimesters of Hollywood child birth: 1. pretend to love pregnancy, 2. schedule a c-section in order to sidestep any labour or stretching of siren vag, and 3. whore out your newborn's picture to the highest bidder. It's such a magical time! And while there are critics, it's a natural response to choose to splash your baby's face across the tabloids, especially when you constantly publicly reminisce about the good ol' days when you could buy panty liners in private. And why participate in the Hollywood Baby Bonanza? It's not like the early publicity will morph your kid into some kind of poorly mannered fauxhawked skunk. However, it will get you paid.

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Sexiest Beef-Pusher Alive Matthew McConaughey can strike "dabble in fatherhood" from his phonebook-thick bucket list, as his girlfriend has just birthed the actor's first child: a healthy son, with ten fingers, ten toes, but—in an unfortunate congenital defect which doctors reassure will have no bearing on the child's quality of life—only one, tiny flip-flop. From the Reuters report:

The child — the first for McConaughey and model Camila Alves — was born on Monday evening, the report quoted the actor's publicist as saying.

McConaughey, 38, said in January that he and Alves were "stoked and wowed" by the pending arrival.

Help name him in our Name Matthew McConaughey's Son Poll after the jump!

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