Spoiler Alert! A brand-new promo for season five of Lost (that still, sadly, features the ear abortion forced on us by The Fray in a Dharma-like experiment) reveals the answer to one of this season's most-speculated upon mysteries: will Matthew Fox still be shaving his chest? We've covered the evidence up with Lost's smoke monster for now, but after the jump comes the shocking reveal:

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Now that ABC has finished cancelling about half its slate, it's time to bring back the big guns. Lost producers have already teased us with a minuscule sliver of new footage and a secret-revealing, Century City-set poster, but now a whopping two-and-a-half minute trailer has been released, which eventually eschews clip showiness for a sustained glimpse of its upcoming season. Shirtless Desmond! Sawyer and Juliet holding hands! Everyone is shooting flaming arrows for some reason! All great stuff marred by this terrible song/music video/eye-and-ear hurty thing by The Fray, a band ABC once used for its Grey's Anatomy promos and now will never stop pimping. Hey, ABC: Coldplay has a single out now that's actually called "Lost." Why not try that? Oh no, we were just put in the terrible position of advocating for Coldplay. Now we understand why STV has been taking all those showers and muttering, "So dirty, so dirty," for the last month. Clip after the jump!

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Just when we'd managed to shake our uncontrollable addiction to Lostpedia, brand-new footage from the upcoming Season 5 of Lost has hit the internet. What do we learn (after an interminable recap of previous storylines) about the island hijinks we'll be seeing come January 2009? Sayid gets a gun! Hurley gets a gun! Kate gets a gun! Probably even the baby gets a gun! As is par for the course with Lost, the footage only raises new questions; specifically, where is the return of Michelle Rodriguez? And, perhaps most importantly, is Jack's missing chest hair still in the clutches of the smoke monster? [The Lost Vault]

There are TV characters you hate to love, and then there are those whose love you hate. TV Guide writer Damien Holbrook tackles the latter in the magazine's upcoming feature, "Top 10 Most Annoying TV Couples," which details the most aggravating, chemistry-free romances ever foisted on television by a hubris-stricken showrunner. Did your least favourite couple make the list? Will Katherine Heigl make her beloved Joshua forward the article to the Grey's Anatomy writers? Results and analysis, after the jump:

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For every high-pitched shriek of rage we let loose after making it through a new episode of Lost without a single Big Question answered, there's a part of us that doesn't want to know what' s going on anyway. Sure, it'd be nice if the epic's smarmy producers decided to shed some light on what the four-toed statue from season two was all about, gave us some clues about the Smoke Monster, or what Josh Holloway might look like as a member of the full-frontal nudity club, but maybe getting some answers would weaken our obsession. At least that's how we felt before hearing today that a sole cast member knows for sure exactly how the series will end. And we have a feeling that between now and 2010, they might wind up "blurting it out" despite assurances.

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As everyone knows by now, watching Lost is akin to having Damon Lindelof mount a stepladder week in and week out, and proceed to engage in vigorous intercourse with the squishy contents of your skull. Last night's episode was no exception, offering us [spoiler alert] a flash-forward to Matthew Fox's Jack, who, in a shower-reveal scene reminiscent of a gender-reversed "Bobby's return" from Dallas, is shown to be living with Kate back home. This Jack, however, sported not the rabbi-envy-inducing beard teased in Season Three's finale. Now bear with us, if you will, as we tumble even further down the manscaping rabbit hole:

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Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

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· Nicole Kidman or wax figure? Even the experts are left scratching their heads.
· Like we needed this right now: Kiefer sentenced today to 48 days, starting immediately. Good news, though - it's in the Glendale City Jail, not L.A. County. We hear they have an In-N-Out Burger!
· Watching this exclusive first-look of the Speed Racer movie, we're instantly reminded of this Knocked Up exchange: "You know what's interesting about [Matthew Fox]? "What?" "Nothing."
· The 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against a Wisconsin inmate banned from posting a photo of Jennifer Aniston in his cell, but issued a "snarky" ruling that made cracks about Along Came Polly and Rumour Has It, and suggested a legal loophole that would allow for the displaying of magazine pictures.
· For the second night of Hanukkah, we offer you this extra-special gift. (Make sure to stick around at least until Zadie shreds the melting Stratocaster.)