Ever since Guy Sebastian aka Australia's Most Famous Virgin announced his impending nuptials to long-term girlfriend Jules Egan, the question that has been on everyone's mind is how long will they stay at the reception before going back to the hotel to root like rabbits on Viagra who will sing at the wedding?

Well, it looks as though Australia's Third Or Fourth Most Famous Virgin (the #2 spot is occupied by Dean Geyer), Matt Corby, is set to do the honours. Perhaps he could serenade them with Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter? We don't believe we've heard him do that one before.

The soul star will be humming the wedding march when he ties the knot with Egan in Sydney on May 20, but it's 2007 Idol star Corby who'll be centre stage during the reception.

Both are members of the Assemblies of God's Paradise Community Church - where Sebastian and Egan met in Adelaide 13 years ago - and Corby has formed a close friendship with the Idol alumni since his own challenging run through the Channel Ten contest.

"Challenging"? Is that what they call "beloved by mums, nannas, little girls and gays" these days?

Either way, now is as good a time as ever to indulge in a little celebratory contemporary Christian music, in celebration of the imminent removal of the shrink-wrap over his knob joyous occasion, it's Michael W. Smith's totally righteous 1990 power ballad, Place In This World! Seriously, it's as good as Bolton. Over the jump, Christian soldiers...

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...By members of her family.

Walking down Swanston Street in Melbourne, we heard some familiar tones - it was Natalie Gauci's winner's single, Here I Am, blaring out of a speaker system. We turned to face the din and realised it was pumping out of the Golden Tower "chat 'n' chew" restaurant, run by the Gauci family. The restaurant's covered dining area is still bedecked with home-made 'Vote Natalie' posters, which look more poignant with every passing day.

We couldn't help but feel that this was one of the last remaining places on earth where Gauci's music career was of any interest to anyone, and as such should possibly be submitted as a Heritage site.

Where did it all go wrong? Things looked set to soar for The Gauch when she took the Idol title while memories of her stirring renditions of Umbrella and Boys In Town were still fresh in the country's memory. Then things started to develop the stench of death: her album tanked, and, well, things got worse.

The latest we've heard from her is this blog on the Sony BMG site from last week, which sounds more like a gap-year traveller's email home than a missive from a busy music career.

Add to that the fact that Matt Corby, the last season's great white hope, turned down a recording deal, not to mention a decided lack of publicity regarding any 2008 auditions, and the franchise looks more or less dead in the water.

Is the Idol dream over, full-stop? Looking bloody likely from here!

Young Matt Corby - remember him? - who was tipped to be the sure-shot victor of Australian Idol '07 (despite, you know, not actually being the victor) evidently isn't too fussed about whether he makes it or not (despite, you know, not actually going back to school in favour of a career in the industry).

It seems that Sony BMG offered him a shiny record deal - despite (last time we'll say that, promise) the word that only winner Natalie Gauci would be signed - but Goldilocks Matt has decided he doesn't want it after all.

The Idol runner-up was reportedly gloating about rejecting an offer from Sony BMG because he wanted to be his own man, even though he is still a teenager and the label has said it wants to give him time to grow.

"I'm still a young guy and I don't want to be packaged. I'm just cruising along and playing music, if it all fails I'll go back to doing my HSC or become a garbage man," he said.

We're pegging our bets on "if it all fails I'll become a garbage man" being the new "just making the music I love, if anyone else likes it, that's just a bonus".

See, Matt, it's meant to be! You're as big a wanker as any of these other pretenders! Take the record deal! TAKE IT!!

Poor Natalie Gauci; we'd hoped - for her sake rather than for the sake of her whoopy R&B stylings - that she wouldn't fall prey to the curse of the female Australian Idol winners (i.e. sinking without a trace), but it looks like that's precisely what the fates have in store for her.

Her "album", The Winner's Journey (a rush-recorded comp of all the covers she performed on Idol) hasn't even made the top ten, offering a grim forecast for whenever Sony BMG deign to release her real debut album, which will hopefully have even more originals inspired by backpackers than her single's b-side.

Despite heavy promotion on one of the year’s most-watched programs, the souvenir CD The Winner's Journey only managed to make it to number 12 on the ARIA chart, with sales of of 11,489 units in its first week of release.

By comparison, last year’s winner Damien Leith sold 89,257 copies of his debut CD in its first full week on sale.

If that wasn't bad enough for The Gauch, Sony BMG have now confirmed that Dicko and Andrew G's "special announcement" that the label would only sign the winner was a total ruse, and in the most gobsmacking announcement since Miriam revealed she'd wasn't all woman, they've signed Matt Corby!

Meanwhile a Ten insider admitted Sony always had Matt in their sights. "You would think they would be silly not to sign him. He is definitely the marketable (of the final two)," the source said.

The label exercised its 30-day option on Matt, beating out a slew of other recording companies to wrap up the prettyboy from Cronulla who will ink his contract today and is expected to hit the studio as soon as possible.

Natalie should really start looking into those lucrative appearance deals at Twister, Discovery and Rooty Hill RSL real soon; we hear they're much nicer places to play than the cold, lifeless stadiums and arenas that Matt Corby will no doubt be mournfully dragging himself to, muttering all the way, "Do I haaaave toooo?"

This year's Australian Idol final two are a counfounding pair. You'd have to be blind and deaf not to get that Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci are excellent performers and good looking enough to shift records, it's just that they're so... boring.

Dicko said it, everyone has been thinking it, and now the final two themselves have more or less confirmed it by giving the most boring interviews possible in the lead up to the big bash at the Opera House on Sunday.

That's the nature of Idol. It's a plunge into the deep end without floaties.

"People see our family, see where we live, see our bedrooms. I'm sure we haven't seen Beyonce's bedroom or Missy Higgins' bedroom," Gauci says.

There was also controversy over the singers' religious beliefs, with speculation Corby's church, Assemblies Of God, allegedly encouraged its congregation to vote for him.

Both Corby and Gauci are adamant that people's religious beliefs should be allowed to be kept private.

"What we believe is up to us," Corby says on the subject. "It's not Religious Idol."

Offers Gauci: "It's one thing to judge you for your singing, another thing to judge you for your religion."

Guys, what is this? Australia's Next Top Diplomat? You're want to be the Australian Idol, not Miss Congeniality!

In fact, we thought we'd never say it, but we're starting to miss Tarisai.

Come back you crazy bitch, all is forgiven!

As if we even need to draw your attention to it, The Industry is already wetting itself over Matt Corby's career opportunities post-Idol, whether or not he wins (though the latter option is about as likely as Tarisai winning the Nobel Peace Prize for diplomacy).

Evidently the job offers are coming thick and fast, starting with a seasonal engagement that will have The Naitch going green with envy.

The budding pop prince is set to star as a headline act alongside the cream of the Australian music industry at the Carols in the Domain event on December 22.

Organisers of the popular Christmas show have already discussed Corby's appearance with Caplice Management - the talent agency who gets first rights to managing the series winner - irrespective of whether he becomes the Australian Idol on Sunday or not.

"I can't confirm he has been booked but I can definitely say we have spoken to David Caplice about Matt,'' Carols in the Domain producer Shauna Kane told Confidential yesterday.

"He's extremely talented and has shown that consistently.''

We know we haven't exactly been glowing in our praise of this year's Idol crop, but - despite the whole Assemblies Of God kerfuffle - there is something remotely exciting about the possibility of Corby's winning the title; let's face it, he's the closest thing to an actual pop star the show has uncovered in its history (and no, Courtney Act doesn't count).

Think about it: apart from his vocal similarities to Marcia's good personal friend daughter Deni Hines, he's got the voice, the looks, a reasonably likable personality (when he's not sooking about the judges) and - apparently - can write his own songs, and they apparently don't suck.

No wonder the industry is collectively creaming its pants!

Just days after Ian "Dicko" Dickson "accidentally" let slip that he thought this year's Australian Idol final two were "beautiful but boring", the pair have used their Sunday night spotlight to get their own back.

Matt Corby has had a go at the judge and mentor, while Natalie Gauci chose to employ The Power Of Music™ to get her point across (which incidentally left her looking loopy and over-emotional instead of focused and intense; the latter was presumably the effect she was going for, but we could be wrong).

When presenters showed concern for the singer after a subdued performance of his second song, Jamie Cullum's hit Dry, the 17-year-old turned the tables with a snappy aside of his own, with the quip: "I feel sorry for Dicko. He must be bored out of his mind."

Melbourne finalist, Natalie Gauci got a dig in of her own, perhaps, belting out current top 10 hit, Apologise by One Republic, and the Kate Bush classic Running Up That Hill with its key lyrics "So much hate for the ones we love. Tell me we both matter don't we?" taking on special meaning.

All this doesn't really matter, of course, because as we've learned every Idol year before this, it doesn't actually matter how good the Final Two are - because the winner's single is always, without fail, total and utter pants.

Maybe Dicko was talking about the song?

Trumpeter and (ex?) sailor Carl Risely was the last to be kicked off Australian Idol prior to the grand final, leaving Natalie Gauci and Matt Corby in the final two.

Oddly enough, considering most would've assumed Matt Corby to be most popular, Gauci - "the Gauch", according to an unusually excitable Marcia - was the first to be declared safe, meaning she'd garnered the most points.

Andrew G was naturally quick to rain on that particular parade, maintaining that there was 4% between "first" and "second".

We'll miss Carl's warbling (and wish they'd let him be more Chet Baker-esque and have his trumpet with him all the time, as those performances - It's Not Unusual in particular - were always miles above the rest) but it was probably his time to go some weeks ago, let alone last night.

Tips for the finale? We're stumped, actually! "The Gauch" has pulled off quite an impressive Cosima (without the 'nodgews') in the final dash, and Corby isn't as popular as he once was, so we'll just hope for one thing: that the stylists don't fuck up the female finalist's wardrobe choices for this year's Opera House gig.

It's not much to ask.

Hot times at Australian Idol Headquarters, it would seem!

Gossip magazines have engaged in a bidding frenzy over steamy spa snaps of two Australian Idol hopefuls.

Photos show 16-year-old Matt Corby and Brianna Carpenter, five years his senior, cuddling in the spa of the $15 million Idol mansion.

Both finalists have claimed to be in relationships outside the program.

You'd never have caught Guy Sebastian and Paulini indulging in such lustful behaviour.

According to the article, the photos have been sold for "thousands" of dollars. So just how steamy are they?

Corby is shown with Carpenter on his knee while the two laugh in their swimwear. Teen heart-throb Corby's arms are around Carpenter's waist.

Well, we suppose if you're the poster boy for warbling Assembly of God teens, then news you've been seen laughing (whilst putting your arm around her, no less!) with infuriatingly twee older lady Brianna won't work in your SMS vote gathering favour.

Personally we're waiting for the glorious day we open the paper and learn of a pill-and-amyl binge occurring in the Idol house, the drug bender resulting in a wild, frenzied orgy. If it emerged that a canny Cal Wilson, hidden behind the piano in Idol HQ, had filmed and narrated the entire thing, and planned on releasing it on video tape under the deliciously dodgy porn title The REAL Inside Idol? We would faint with excitement and glee.

Until then, however, we'll probably have to accept the fact we're always going to end up disappointed by all the so-called scandalous acts performed by the wannabe pop stars.

First two contestants through to Top 12: Matt Corby, Jacob Butler

We (re)discovered the Australian Idol contestant we love to hate very early on this year; his name is Jacob Butler and he has tried - unsuccessfully, and rather publicly - to make it to the top a few times before. He made it to the Top 100 in 2005, and made it to week four of the hilariously ill-fated X-Factor that same year before voluntarily withdrawing from the comp. He then went to the UK to "make it", and didn't, and here he is, lighting up our screens with his full cheeks and dull Britpop covers once more.

Our favourite Jacob moment so far has been his response to the judges' asking him what he'd do if he didn't "make it" this time (implying that this is his last chance), to which he replied that he'd have to do what all "failed musos do... become a music journalist."

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