martha stewart

Ludacris Sets Martha Stewart’s Rapper Relations Back 20 Years

3:05AM STV | Snoop Dogg’s historic appearance last year on Martha was thought to finally shatter the barrier between hip-hop icons and potato-mashing domestic heroism. Alas, as Ludacris discovered today, that was not change we can believe in. More »

Martha’s Recession-Busting Tips Include Laying Off 10% of Your Housekeeping Workforce

5:31AM Seth | Martha Stewart offered recession-time grocery shopping tips today, demonstrating how even small changes to one’s routine—say, laying off a couple gardeners or only consuming local foie gras—can have a huge effect on the bottom line. More »

Christmas Centerpiece-Making With Stewart And Colbert

10:45AM Seth | She may not have the palpable sexual chemistry with Stephen Colbert that she enjoys with Jay Leno or Snoop Dogg, but we could still really kick back all day to watch these two make gilded mistletoe orbs or whatever the hell it is they’re up to. Awwww…look at the little Shiba Ee-dudes frolicking around in there. Enjoy them now before they get bigger and are sent off to loving homes. Getty stock photos + Sasha Fierce song titles = seconds of fun. Car crash rocks the set of 30 Rock! Don’t worry—everyone’s OK. Bid now on Jenna Jameson’s couch! Yikes—off-white silk. Fairly stain-unforgiving choice for a porn star. God bless Pax Jolie-Pitt: He still hoards his food in case his parents should change their mind and return him. Smart kid.

Snoop Dogg On ‘Martha’: A Gizzle Thizzle

7:36AM Seth | We’re not going to spill any digital ink describing Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg as unlikely compadres. After all, if you can’t see how these two herb-aficionado ex-cons fit snuggly into the same gangsta pod—both enjoying nothing more than kicking back after a long day of baking and wreath-construction with a blunt the size of a corncob and getting fucked up for real in this bitch—then you probably don’t deserve to be here. On today’s Martha, Snoop popped by. Martha introduced him by reading aloud her many correspondences from the hip-hop titan: More »

Jay Leno Masturbates A Rolling Pin To Seduce Martha Stewart

11:29AM Seth | Yes, that’s essentially what happened last night—and if only that were the grossest moment. Enjoy! [Thanks to BestWeekEver.tv for the montage.] Here’s the trailer for Disney’s Race to Witch Mountain starring Dwayne Johnson. For contrast, here’s the original, before Tia and Tony sold their product placement souls with all that Vegas stuff and MacBook levitations. Because it’s just been that kind of day for Jennifer Aniston to get some festering stuff out into the open, she’d also like the world to know that she bears John Mayer no ill-will whatsoever for his rambling breakup monologue outside a NYC gym. Mickey Rourke issued an apology over his comment to a paparazzo, “Tell that faggot who wrote all that shit in the paper I’d like to break his fucking legs.” Said Rourke, “I want to sincerely apologise for the derogatory word I used. It was insensitive and inappropriate of me and I am deeply sorry that I may have offended anyone. What I should have said is, ‘Tell that faggot who wrote all those falsehoods in the paper I’d like to break his misleading legs.’ There. That’s much better.” Lance Bass is having a hard time getting rid of his giant Beverly Hills home, with a gym large enough for a dozen well-muscled circuit studs to really stretch out their quads and gluts. Knock a couple more inches off it, Lance. You’ll unload it eventually. More »

7:40AM Kyle Buchanan | It’s a Bad Thing: Buried deep into HuffPo founder Arianna Huffington’s blog entry about last night’s debate is the response everyone wants, that of domestic doyenne Martha Stewart. “The home-spun homilies [Sarah Palin uses] have to go,” Stewart sniffed to Huffington. “And, oh my god, words do have ending consonants.” [HuffPo] More »

Macy’s Enlists Mariah, Martha, And Donald’s Combover To Push Products

9:58AM Molly Friedman | We’ve quite enjoyed Macy’s new marketing campaign in which they put together their design “stars” in fast-paced montages jam-packed with one-liners from the likes of The Donald, Martha Stewart and Jessica Simpson, who’s fully come to terms with her dumb blonde schtick by agreeing to pretend she just can’t figure out how to open the darn door to Macy’s while schlepping boxes of her stripper shoes. But the latest spot has us confused. Featuring Mariah Carey (she has a fragrance, unlike any other celebrity we know!), Carlos Santana (highly respected shoe designer and sometimes musician!), Donald and Martha, the commercial’s theme appears to be the way in which consumer goods can inspire…quasi-rhythmical snippets on Santana’s legendary guitar? More »

Martha Stewart Is No Lush, But She Sure Loves Getting Talk Show Hosts Trashed

8:30AM Molly Friedman | After gleefully watching along as Martha Stewart doused Conan O’Brien with all sorts of lush-inducing cocktails, from Guinness to gin to mystery concoctions, we put on our thinking caps and sorted through our clip-clustered memories. After we cleared the cobwebs a bit, we remembered that this wasn’t the first time Martha shared her love of liquor with television hosts. Loyal Defamer readers will recall her 8am rise-and-shine mixers with Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last month, and insomniacs will certainly remember her booze-on-the-brain appearance on The Late Show last week (in which she listed at least four indecipherable drinks she calls her “favourites”). But her fondness of ladylike cocktails doesn’t stop there. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer put together a burp-filled mashup of our favourite Professional Housewife’s alcohol-drenched appearances of late; as always, video is available the jump. More »