Jessica Alba Is Pregnant, Hungry and Unwilling To Wait In Line
Posted by Mark Graham at 10:00 AM on May 10, 2008
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Jessica Alba cut in the breakfast line at the Griddle Cafe.

While execs at the Fox network long ago learned that people have a strong desire to watch shows aimed at an audience of gore-hound rubberneckers (think, America's Most Shocking And Deadly High-Speed Rollover Accidents Part Six), the folks at the more family friendly American Broadcasting Channel rolled the dice when they cast the last season of Dancing With The Stars. Their bet was that they could appeal to an under-exploited niche of the American television viewing audience by casting a one-legged former trophy wife of a Beatle. After all, would people really tune in to see whether or not she would fall on her arse while doing the Cha-Cha? Not surprisingly, they did tune in ... in droves, even. So when it came time for this season to roll around, producers decided to go right back to the developmentally-challenged well when they decided to cast the hearing-impaired Oscar winner (and stone fox) Marlee Matlin.
Sad news for any schadenfreude addicts out there, but there was nary a swan head nor a peek of butt floss out to be seen on the carpet last night. Instead, we saw 80s-esque gold glitter fiascos (Faye Dunaway), billowy black muumuus (Ellen Page) and particularly poor choices in fabric, especially for a former stripper (Diablo!). While there aren't any oh-no-she-didn't moments, we were disappointed in several of the carpet walkers this evening: