Congratulations to all involved at the news.com.au front page who came up with this most excellent headline to announce the tale of Mark Philippoussis' surfing mishap at Bell's Beach (his board was snapped by a freak wave and he had to seek refuge in a cave, apparently - it's true, I am trying not to laugh as I picture that):

You should all be very proud of yourselves.

As should "Damo of Summer Bay", from the comments on said story, who sums up the general reaction to the tale with the witty and incisive: "I bet the Scud's girlfriend knew exactly how to treat those bruises and cuts for the Scud. She probably got all kitted up in her nurses uniform when they got home. Yeah Scud Yeah!"

Yeah, Scud, yeah, indeed.

Defamer Australia loves Mark Philippoussis and his turbulent love life.

Not too long ago, Mark turned to the power of reality television to find him some true romance, the general premise behind which being that The Poo would be given access to a group of "kittens" (ie. younger ladies) and a group of "cougars" (women of a more mature vintage) and select one lucky lady from amongst the pack to be his new paramour.

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It sounds like it could be the reality television show of the year. Australian tennis star Mark "The Poo" Philippoussis is looking for a partner, and he's planning on hunting down his true love through the magical modern Cupid that is a reality television dating show. It's called Age Of Love - although we would have called it Ace Of Love.

DO YOU SEE WHAT WE DID THERE?

According to reports...

In a slick new TV commercial in the US, Mark Philippoussis looks earnestly into the camera and proclaims: "When I do find the right person I will give everything to her".

Swoon.

The ad is the launching pad for US TV network NBC's slick promotional campaign for its new dating reality show, Age of Love, starring the Australian playboy and tennis star.

Philippoussis, 30, did not know it when he volunteered to sign up for the show, but the producers arranged for seven of the 13 desperately single American women competing for him to be aged over 40.

OVER FORTY? ARE YOU MAD, NBC? THOSE LADIES SHOULD BE IN A NURSING HOME, NOT FEELING UP OUR BELOVED SCUD! FIND HIM A MORE APPROPRIATELY AGED WOMAN (SIXTEEN TO NINETEEN) AT ONCE!

Philippoussis, who has always dated younger women, also has six hot bikini-clad babes aged in their 20s to choose from, but to make it tough, the producers, while the cameras were rolling, first introduced the man known as Scud to the more mature women.

He had just broken up with 19-year-old fiancee, Miami actress model-actress Alexis Barbara, so the older women came as a shock.

"I knew what he was walking into and he didn't," the show's producer, JD Roth, said today.

"It was difficult for me to look him in the eye knowing how sincere he is and how he really wants to fall in love.

"He walked up that first night and was introduced to women all aged over 40 years old.

"He handled it very well."

God bless The Poo, what a gentlemen. We are so very proud that he managed - for the sake of the show - to resist his natural and very reasonable urge to throw up upon making eye contact with the haggardly geriatrics.