lisa oldfield
David And Lisa Oldfield’s Dog Has Been Feasting On Delicious Things!
2:55PM Jess McGuire | THINGS MY DOG RUFUS HAS EATEN
* A chair
* Holy Water from Lourdes
* Countless packets of cigarettes
* His own poo
THINGS LISA AND DAVID OLDFIELD’S DOG DINKY HAS EATEN
* Six condoms. Ewwwww!
Reported the Daily Telegraph yesterday:
If being dressed up as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz wasn’t bad enough, little Dinky Oldfield brought new meaning to the idea of a sick puppy last week, requiring an emergency trip to the vet after eating a “six-fingered latex glove”.
Six-fingered latex glove? Ho, ho, we think not! More » 
People Who Probably Won’t Be Rushing Out To Purchase Kate Miller-Heidke’s New Album (#176 In A Series Which Is Unlikely To Continue)
5:03PM Jess McGuire | The Oldfields
(You might be wondering why – check out track ten on Kate Miller-Heidke’s new record Curiouser…)
SUPERGIRL
Supergirl
Hands in the air for supergirl. She goes her own way
Hands in the air for supergirl. She’s doing alright
Hands in the air for supergirl. She goes her own way
Hands in the air for supergirl. She’s doing alright
You’re doing it your own way
Walking with your own sway
Smiling into a cloudy day
And I want you to know
How you helped me to grow
I just wanted to say
Marieke, marieke, marieke
You’re okay
It goes on. Look away if you’re a cucumber hater.
More » Was Lisa Oldfield Always This Amusing?
7:50PM Jess McGuire | Once again, we’re starting to realise that maybe, just maybe, The Catch Up might have been worth taping. And by taping, we mean ‘us memorising transcripts of each show’.
From today’s Mediaweek newsletter -
On the day that the final edition of The Catch Up goes to air, The Daily Telegraph reports that panellist Lisa Oldfield has made a public apology, claiming she was responsible for the program failing. “I think Australia has had an absolute gutful of Lisa Oldfield…I can’t imagine me darkening anybody’s TV screen again any time soon.â€
The Herald Sun reports quasi-intellectual Mary Moody said she was lapping up thoughts of never needing to know another thing about Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, while Lisa Oldfield declared their audience to blame. “Australia you should be ashamed of yourselves,” she said. “Because you weren’t watching our show, we’ve got two single mums and a granny on the scrapheap, and a redneck on the loose.”
More » In Retrospect, The Catch-Up Was Actually Quite Amazing
3:40PM Jess McGuire | The episodes of recently boned Channel Nine chat show The Catch-Up we managed to watch never quite did it for us, and so we immediately began mocking the program whenever it was raised in conversation. But as Joni Mitchell once sang, you don’t know what you got til it’s gone.
Crikey.com.au have helpfully put together a list of YouTube links to the shows greatest moments, and it is compelling and essential viewing.
* Lisa gags at footage of a man eating corgi.* Libbi and Zoe’s lesbian kiss (includes bonus footage of Libbi pashing Rupert Everett)* The ladies model Stella for Target* The ladies discuss reverse chivalry (warning: contains too much information about the Oldfields’ love life)* Lisa’s drug confessions* Lisa’s botox regret. (Reader says Lisa had a “little cat’s bum mouth”, Lisa gets botox, blames horse fall for swollen lips) * The ladies discuss adultery . Lisa reveals, if a loved one murdered or cheated, “that person would be dead to me”.* Oldfield tells how she froze David’s sperm post 9/11 following a series of death threats he received.
Brilliant! Jane Nethercote, we applaud you for compiling this Best Of. As one of our beloved friends put it, “After reading this, I am now wishing that The Catch Up wasn’t ending.”
Touche.
WE TAKE IT ALL BACK! UNBONE! UNBONE!
PS: We’re also a bit obsessed with Lisa Oldfield now, if you must know. More » 
Lisa Oldfield’s “Cat’s Bum” Mouth.
9:25AM Jess McGuire | The dazzling Lisa Oldfield, a panelist on The Catch-Up, has opened up about having plastic surgery which left her lips looking like a “cat’s bum”.
But it was a dog of a day yesterday when The Catch-Up panellist Lisa Oldfield was forced to reveal the truth behind her fat lip on the Nine show.
No, she hadn’t been bashed by her hubby and former One Nation staffer David Oldfield.
Instead, plagued by low self-esteem, she forked out $550 to go under the plastic surgeon’s knife last week.
What spurred Lisa to get her lips done?
The op was sparked by viewer comments on the Nine program’s website that “ate away” at her, including that she was “freaky looking” and had “wild eyes” and “a wrinkly face”.
Ahh, that’s the interwebs for you – a place for idiots to judge others. We should know.
Said Lisa -
“I went in with visions of Angelina Jolie and came out looking like Goldie Hawn from The First Wives Club,” she said.
Right now, Goldie Hawn is feeling pretty down about that comment, Lisa. And so the cycle of cattiness continues.
… obviously we jest. We’re fairly certain Goldie Hawn isn’t one of The Catch-Up’s thirty-seven viewers. More » 