lana krost

Our Shoddy Photoshop Skills Prove Prescient In Picking Idol Romances

11:47AM Clem Bastow | Turns out Marty was copping a feel of Idol’s Lana, as we surmised a week or so ago, as Kyle Sandilands got Marty to admit (in a round-about way) on his radio show. Lana, who was booted on Monday night, has admitted she will “keep in touch” with the surfer dude and Police fan, which is code for “we will be having lots of R-rated iChat sessions when my parents are out of the house”. The Idol judge said he asked Marty if he was “going the distance” with little Lana, 17, because everyone was talking about it – and the singer’s response was, “Yeah”. Lana admitted there was an attraction between the pair. But she said nothing happened besides “a couple of cuddles”. “A couple of cuddles”?! Judging by Matt Corby and Brianna “Quirky” Carpenter’s fast hands in the spa-bath, which were brushed off as just fun between mates, lord knows what “a couple of cuddles” could stand for! If only Idol itself could be as entertaining on-screen as this year’s off-duty escapades. More »

Idol Round-Up: Lana Leaves After Being Declared “Out Of Her Depth”, Australia Sez “You Don’t Say”

11:16AM Clem Bastow | Australian Idol finally did something right last night, ousting Perth teenager Lana Krost a few weeks later than should have been the case (about five weeks too late, to be exact). The schoolgirl with the Mid-Atlantic accent of indeterminate origin faffed her way through weak-voiced renditions of songs we suspect she didn’t really understand, though we were slightly taken aback by the mature (read: very unlike previous schoolgirl Lauren “The Waterworks” Buckley) manner with which she acquitted herself post-eviction: “I’m gonna look at it like I came 10th out of 35,000 people,” she said, wearing a girlish grin that had been largely absent during the past few week. And then she sang a reprise of her Moloko cover and all the bile came flooding back. We look forward to this week’s “acoustic” night and the accompanying, no doubt, soulful/meaningful/”special” performances full of deep male pain (as with the departure of another female contestant, we are, as Mark Holden so sagely put it, “heading into the testosterone zone”). More »

Idol Round-Up: Tarisai Vushe Proves That A Brilliant Voice Will Get You To The Top; Lana Krost Disproves That Theory Instantly

10:58AM Clem Bastow | Next two through to Final 12: Tarisai Vushe, Lana Krost Mixed emotions upon last night’s announcement of the third and fourth contestants through to Idol’s Final 12. When we saw Tarisai sing, we were overcome with joy and promised to eat our television if that voice was not rewarded with a place in the finals. Fortunately, she got through; unfortunately, we are still hungry. This is also good news because, as Dicko suggested when he called her “barking mad”, Tarisai is also totally crazy/amazing, as evidenced by this quote from her Idol contestant questionnaire: Watching Whitney Houston on television letting that voice out made me cry to God about how I wanted to become a precious woman and start singing professionally, leading to a long career. We are looking forward to this precious woman’s tearing her weaker-voiced Idol peers a new arsehole, hopefully all the way to the Opera House. However, we also had a strong premonition on Monday night that 17-year-old Lana Krost would become this year’s Lauren Buckley/Amali Ward/Natalie Zahra/Lisa Mitchell and be the “young chick who the young chicks vote through” (although, to clarify, we love Amali and Lisa), and last night, our fears were confirmed as the girl with a voice about as exciting as a Milk Arrowroot dipped in milky Tetley’s was voted through to the Final 12. After four series of Australian Idol, we still have some naïve hope that only the truly talented contestants will make it through, and we still get disappointed year after year. This year it’s a case of one-out-of-four-is-bad so far, and we’re still crossing those fingers for the wildcard round. ED: I am mildly concerned by this Tarisai love fest, Bastow. She thanked Jesus for her performance of Straight Lines, for fucks sake! That said, she is obviously completely batshit crazy, and therefore I support her inclusion in the Top Twelve, if only because of the potential for psychotic episodes/breakdowns/hilariously over-the-top one liners. More »