koby abberton

Koby Abberton Is Going To Jail!

3:08PM Jess McGuire | Bra Boy Koby Abberton has just been sentenced to some HARD TIME after assaulting an off-duty policeman in Honolulu. His odds of escaping painful prison shower pursuits seem pretty good though, as he’s only copped a three day sentence. The 30-year-old pleaded no contest today to the misdemeanor assault charge and was given a three-day sentence. Abberton was handcuffed after appearing in Hawaii’s Kaneohe District Court and escorted to Oahu Community Correctional Centre to serve his term. Prosecutors had sought a six-month sentence but District Judge Ray Graulty said Abberton had taken responsibility for his actions. Koby took responsibility for his actions? Good boy! You go, Glen Coco! Three days for you, Glen Coco! More »

Bra Boy Surprised To Find That Bonking Gf On Head With Stick And Dragging Her Back To Cave Does Not A Willing Bride Make

9:40AM Clem Bastow | Evidently Koby Abberton and his ilk are the talk of Tinseltown after their tiresome “we can’t help bashing c–ts, we just had a hard childhood ‘n’ shit” doco The Bra Boys premiered this week, but he’d give all the hype in the world to make model girlfriend Tahyna Tozzi (no, we don’t know how you’re meant to pronounce “Tahyna” either) his wife: “This is not my dream at all – I really don’t want to be here to tell you the truth,” Abberton told LA correspondent Peta Hellard. His real dream, if his declarations of love were any indication, is to settle down with Tozzi. “I ask her to marry me every single day, but she keeps saying no,” he said. A tip for Koby (apart from, you know, perhaps distancing yourself from boof-head gangs and getting in bar brawls): most women aren’t massive fans of the cro-magnon-man neck-grip technique: We’re inclined to think that if Abberton had a comic-book speech balloon attached to his head in that photo, it would read something like: “Ooga booga, dis mah woman, you no touchem!” More »

If It’s Good Enough For Russell Crowe, It’s Good Enough For Paris Hilton

8:47AM Jess McGuire | Paris Hilton, chillaxing a bit before she no doubt begins building the Paris Hilton Playhouse For Sick Kids with CatAIDS, has been photographed learning to surf with Russell Crowe’s homeboy Koby Abberton. Paris Hilton has a passion for surfing, thanks to Aussie big-wave rider and Bra Boys gang member Koby Abberton. Abberton, Hilton’s coach, was last year given a nine-month suspended sentence in Sydney for lying to police over the killing of a local thug by his brother, Jai. With Abberton’s girlfriend, model Tahyna Tozzi, watching, Hilton looked to master paddling at Malibu. But her devotion to the sport stopped at fashion, with Hilton electing to forgo a wetsuit for a skimpy bikini. Thank god Koby’s girlfriend was there, or else we might have begun suspecting something untoward was happening. Actually, Koby’s not Greek-shipping-heir rich, so he probably wouldn’t have stood a chance. Surely Rob “Millsy” Mills was the first and last Australian to receive a Paris Hilton charity fuck? Her friendship with Abberton began in Sydney this year. They sat next to each other while judging a bikini competition at Bondi in January, and have stayed in touch since. Don’t all good friendships begin while judging a bikini competition? That’s how Defamer Australia and Jon English became besties. More »