9:00AM Clem Bastow | Fans of ridiculously cute animals would be familiar with the orphaned polar bear cub, Knut, whose troubled early days at the Berlin Zoo – animal experts decreed it would be more humane to kill him than have him live a half-life in a zoo with no hope of ever surviving in the wild – caught the hearts of pretty much everyone except maybe Saddam Hussein and Angela Bishop.
Well, he’s turned one, the plucky “little guy”, and to celebrate, News Ltd put up a
slideshow of notable Knut moments.
All well and good and cute, until you stumble upon THIS:
Our initial reaction was something like, “OH MOTHER OF GOD, CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!” followed by floods of tears. But then, those emotional abusers at the News Ltd dungeons one-upped themselves by reminding us (a few photos down the track), “Poor Knut is an orphan. Lucky Ernst still has his mum,” and the sobs re-entered stage left.
What did we do to deserve all this? Did we laugh at a fat kid in Grade 2 who was actually Buddha? Were we never nice enough to our parents? Did the paper enter into a lucrative Kleenex sponsorship that we don’t know about?
For the love of cute, fluffy, cold-blooded man-eaters everywhere, this blatant emotional torture needs to stop!
More »
