Bloggers may face perilous, uncertain futures these days — but not Kim Kardashian! The reality star and Dancing with the Stars bootee has taken to the blogging format like a badonkadonked fish in water. First, Kardashian used her forum to dispute the automobile allegations made against her by a Defamer tipster, and now she's posted an impassioned defense of her naturally fulsome physique. It seems that Kardashian is so tired of rumours that she's had plastic surgery that she's decided to disprove them once and for all — using a queasy-making photograph of herself in a bikini at age 14:

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After one of our operatives wrote in last week to tell us the story of how Kim Kardashian's black Escalade (and bad attitude) held up rescue vehicles headed for a car accident, Kardashian herself repaired to her blog to set the record straight. Or did she? After reading Kardashian's missive, our tipster wrote in to rebut it, claim by claim.

Kardashian: "I find it very odd that a man involved in a car accident would write a blog right away, instead of focusing on what's going on with the accident."
Tipster: It's not like I was standing in the intersection banging away on my sidekick - OMG, KK in person!!! - xo xo, gossip girl. And I wasn't in the accident. I stuck around to help the bleeding dude get out of this car, then I directed traffic til help got there, gave my number to the cops if they needed to call me as a witness, then continued on my run. I got back home and was so pissed off that someone would act like that, that I bitched about it to my friends on the phone. Then I sat down and bitched to the virtual friends at defamer, who I figured would share my consternation.

Much more, after the jump:

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After an achingly long hiatus for all involved — especially for the celebrities observed below — Hollywood PrivacyWatch returns with the very special story of a traffic mishap gone horribly wrong, 90210 stars acting their age (unless you count drinking), and a not-so-quiet brunch. Our regrets for the time off — we'll pick it up in the future. And remember: PrivacyWatch sightings are submitted by Defamer operatives fanned out far and wide, so keep your tips coming. Be sure to include "Sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line — we want every furtive glance to count!

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Currently enmeshed in a terrible global conspiracy involving 17-year-old girls, U.S. District Judges, a shadowy cabal of vampires (and most likely the Stonemasons), Girls Gone Wild proprietor Joe Francis is on the hunt for a way to restore his good name — and there's no one more willing to help than Donald Trump. Already the crown prince of magnanimity thanks to his selfless (some might say tear-inducing) bail-out of the beleaguered Ed McMahon, Hollyscoop says that the billionaire and the porn purveyor are set to team up:

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While you might expect to be mildly offended by the people behind Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, it's usually because they're coming out with more movies rather than because of anything in the films themselves. Now, though, they've made the classy move of premiering their latest spoof, Disaster Movie, on August 29th — the third anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

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You really have to pity the career caricaturist. If your drawing hand isn't already trembling at the thought of successfully capturing a USC legend/Saints Messiah, you always run the risk of making him look like the mascot for some racist snack packaging from the 1920s.

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When it comes to the art of stealing boyfriends, no one does it better than Lindsay Lohan. As Star reports in their current issue, the blood-sucking barer of flesh successfully seduced her former slim fast buddy Nicole Richie's fiance this weekend. And her timing is suspiciously awful, considering new mum Richie is said to be sorely missing her party girl past. As a source tells Star:

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With Nicole Richie playing house for the next five minutes or so, Kim Kardashian having moved on to mall clothing endorsements and her own show, and sister Nicky entrapped in a brand new anorexia scandal, Paris Hilton has no one to play with. Not even her hypersexual litter of puppies. So she's prepared to do what Britney and Jessica Simpson did before her: pay someone to be her friend. Teaming up with MTV and Ish Entertainment, Paris announced the debut of her next reality show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, in which 20 lucky boys and girls will prove to Paris that they're capable of being loyal, trustworthy pals who won't try to feel her up or plan porny video attacks mid-party. As Paris herself put it, "[I am looking for] someone I can just trust, someone who's not gonna stab me in the back like has happened a lot in this town, someone I can have fun with." But what does the winner get in exchange?

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· Even though the WGA strike might wipe out a significant portion of this so-far underwhelming Fall season, there's still some good news for TV: most shows have produced enough episodes that the Academy may not have to cancel the Emmys, an awards show that rivals the average picket line in thrills-per-minute even in years when it's not hampered by labour strife. [Variety]

· E! further fortifies its lineup of strike-proof programming by picking up a second season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, a show they can easily spin off into separate series following each member of the Hollywood's bustiest, semifamous family should the need for even more mindless schedule-filler arise. [THR]

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