kevin james
Blartocalypse Now: ‘Zookeeper’ Gets A Greenlight
4:09AM Seth | The whole Blart team has reconvened for The Zookeeper, the story of “a lonely zookeeper…leading to intervention by the zoo’s animals.” He settles for a nice Tufted Capuchin in the end. [Variety] More »
The Blart Pack
2:48AM Seth | Kevin James and Adam Sandler will join Chris Rock, Rob Schneider and David Spade in a Columbia comedy about “five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on July 4th weekend.” More »
Unapologetic Nation Of ‘Blart’ Enthusiasts Salute Their Chubby Crimefighting Leader
5:51AM STV | You can second- and third-guess the success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop all you want — just don’t let Bob Dole’s press secretary hear you bad-mouthing it. He really doesn’t like that. More »
America Picks ‘Blart’
3:07AM Seth | What colour is your Tuesday morning misery? Pink slip? Blue pregnancy-test result? Black asymmetrical mole? Desaturate the pain with some US box office numbers:
‘Mall Cop’ Segway Scoots By ‘Gran Torino’
1:36AM Seth | Greetings from the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, where your Defamer team is currently piled into a Park City youth hostel, blissfully unaware that we’ll soon be tortured by international-film-buyers for sport. Your US box office numbers: More »
We Now Pronounce That Federal Employees Are Screwed Thanks To ‘Chuck and Larry’
8:40AM Kyle Buchanan | After offending gays, Asians, and audiences with its ignoble release last summer, the Adam Sandler gay marriage vehicle I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has found itself back in the news this week with equally confounding results. According to the Washington Post (via Videogum), new legislation that could provide employee benefit programs to the partners of gay federal employees is under siege thanks to Office of Personnel Management deputy director Howard C. Weizmann, who cites the Sandler movie as reason enough not to put the plan into action:
Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler and Others End Surprisingly Bootleg-Free ‘Funny People’ Rehearsals
5:45AM STV | We’re more than a little disappointed to find that nobody has yet uploaded any video, audio or any record whatsoever of Adam Sandler, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen or Kevin James’s stand-up sessions last Saturday at UCB. The quartet was concluding rehearsals MC Judd Apatow’s forthcoming comedian opus Funny People, insights into which we’d gone all the way to Canada to retrieve as recently as July. Then we miss one night in Franklin Village and it’s radio silence. Folks, step it up. We’re serious. It’s not a Beatles reunion or anything, but if we have to read abstractly about Hill biting it or Rogen defaulting to his imaginative zenith of aeroplane flatus, there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to see or hear it in all its stumbling, meandering glory: More »
Trade Roundup: Spats, Mall Cops, And Dad Brawls
4:00AM Defamer Hollywood | NBC angers its network rivals by working some technically allowed, but “morally” questionable, Nielsen voodoo by repeating its Heroes premiere on Saturday night and adding that showing’s ratings to the series’ original Monday night number. We think. This developing feud over ratings-reporting gamesmanship is as confusing as it is scintillating. [Variety] · In simpler Nielsen-related news, House is still huge, averaging 18.1 million viewers in its best-ever performance not artificially enhanced by an American Idol lead-in [THR] · Creative triple-threat Kevin James will write, produce, and star in Mall Cop. We’ll refrain from relating the logline and let your imaginations run wild with the comedic possibilities evoked by the combination of America’s most beloved schlub and that offbeat occupation. [Variety] · Fox calls up Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy from its FX basic-cable farm team to their network major league club, giving a series commitment to Murphy’s female workplace drama Queen B. [THR] · NBC will bottle up eight midseason episodes of Mark Burnett’s latest reality TV brain fart, My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, which seeks to combine “the family fun and kid empowerment of ‘[Are You Smarter Than A] 5th Grader’ with the universally relatable concept of bragging that your dad is best.” It’s still unclear whether or not the proud fathers in question will be required to beat each other senseless at the end of each show to truly prove their paternal supremacy. [Variety] More »
Moviegoers Pronounce ‘Chuck and Larry’ Delightful, Fake-Gay Fun For the Whole Family!
2:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Through the Darkness of yet another Monday morning comes the Light of hope: the weekend US box office numbers: 1. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – $US34.775 million At multiplexes all over the country, satisfied audiences have emerged from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the uplifting story of two firefighters who commit fraud to take advantage of domestic partner benefits, with a newfound tolerance for heterosexuals who pretend to be in committed, gay relationships for comedically expedient purposes. The telltale sign of those whose attitudes have been changed by the progressive work of Adam Sandler and sitcom bear Kevin James is the quick exchange of a same-sex kiss immediately followed by mutual right-crosses to the jaw, a display of affection that says to a cherished bro, “I would totally pretend to be gay for you if that resulted in the correction of an unjust, pension-related bureaucratic snafu! Especially if I got to bone Jessica Biel!” 2. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – $US32.185 million Perhaps the scene that most poignantly illustrates that the Potter franchise is unafraid to tackle the problems of young adulthood is the handling of Harry’s first, much-anticipated kiss with Cho Chang, an intimate milestone that is cut short when the excitable wizard’s wand spills forth its magic too readily after a prematurely cast Celer Ejaculonum! spell. But humiliation is avoided when Cho reassures Harry that now-deceased fling Cedric Diggory suffered from the same problem, soothing Potter’s bruised feelings. More »
