This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

If you're not all the way (the way) convinced of the entertainment value of Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's new Twitter account, you may prefer to follow FakeKevinRudd.

I'll let spunky reader Erin, who gave me the heads up about FakeKevinRudd, tell you more.

I was mourning the post-election retirement of twitter's FakeSarahPalin and FakeJohnMcCain when someone alerted me to the presence of FakeKevinRudd who came on the twitter scene shortly after the real Kevin Rudd.

I wonder what low-level, coffee-fetching lackey got promoted to maintaining KRudd's twitter page. I'll bet whomever is doing FakeKevinRudd is having way more fun. I just wish he would update more often.

And you know what? FakeKevinRudd is hilarious. Some highlights after the jump!

Read More »

Poor Kevin Rudd. It appears he's still in the bad books with President Bush, who was apparently displeased to learn that our Prime Minister busying himself with sharing details of their phone conversations with the press. How displeased? Oh, displeased enough to deliver the ultimate Screw You to our fearless leader - he's not included Kevin's mug in an online photo album!

Wait, what?

It is the ultimate souvenir gift from Washington to a leader at a global summit - your own grip-and-grin pic with the US President. The White House then adds an extra ego-stroking touch by putting the picture on its website so the world can see your familiarity with power. But not for Kevin Rudd.

Read More »

All across the country, Catholics are clutching their rosary beads with excitement at the news Head Dude of the Roman Catholic Church hit our golden soil yesterday, arriving at Richmond RAAF Base in the afternoon, where he was greeted with a friendly "Welcome to Oz, fuckface!" by Prime Minister Keven Rudd (well, he probably didn't use those exact words, but who knows for sure anymore now that the PM's potty-mouth has been uncovered?).

The spiritual leader of the world's 1.1 billion Catholics was met by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and Sydney Archbishop George Pell as he began his nine-day trip, his first here since becoming pontiff in 2005.

Pope Benedict expressed "great joy" about the visit, saying World Youth Day events had the ability to open frontiers between nations and bring cultures together.

In an official statement to the "great southern land of the Holy Spirit" he wrote that all Australians were in his thoughts.

As are the lyrics of Icehouse too, it would seem. What next, B-dog? Getting a billion people to kneel during Sunday Mass at Randwick Racecourse before theatrically using the line "On my knees, help me Jesus, tell me what can I do... electric blue" in your prayer? Stating same sex relationships are "Nothing Too Serious" and thus the entire notion of gay weddings denigrate the institution of marriage? I can't think of any more appalling Icehouse-based wordplay, but you catch my drift.

I look forward to seeing what the coming week of Catholic-mayhem brings. The fact that there's a popedownunder Twitter account, meaning we can get succinct updates regarding exactly what's happening during this Papalpalooza, is bloody brilliant.

Frankly, entries like this -

Breaking news: a kitten called 'Bella' has been brought into the Kenthurst Study Centre to help Pope Benedict feel at home

- are so amazingly stupid that it seems fairly obvious to me that the Pope is going to feature on this little ol' blog quite a bit this week.

Bring it on.

Kool & The Gang-inspired part of the post title courtesy of one-man wit machine, Swords & Sandals creator, and all round Sydney heartthrob Oliver Shirley's Facebook status update. I salute you, sir.

It was an innocent time, back when Lara Bingle strolled onto a pristine beach in a candy-striped bikini and asked us, playfully, "where the bloody hell are you?" A simpler time, when children could play without fear of... not really sure where I'm going with this one, but it's safe to say we all remember those ads.

As does Kevin Rudd, and perhaps with far less fondness than the national FHM readership (who were too busy touching themselves thanking God for sending them Lara "Intellegent" Bingle), as he has labeled the campaign a "disaster".

"That campaign, every place I have visited in the world, has been basically described as an absolute rolled gold disaster," he said.

"This government is now seeking to re-examine that because Australian tourism deserves better than that which (Liberal MP Fran Bailey) gave to us when she was minister for tourism.

"That campaign was a rolled gold disaster."

Anyone got any tips for the new tourism campaign? Personally, I suggest a vintage re-run of this little classic...

Read More »

Lily Allen, never one to hold out on her MySpazz chums when it comes to delivering the emotional goods, has just posted a new entry on her blog where she urges fans not to binge drink lest they behave, well, like her.

From the entry titled "Oh dear" -

Last time i wrote here , I was defending my honor and dignity , explaining my innocence and also outrage at the press for insinuating my behaviour was embarrassing. This time i'm putting my hands up , i got very drunk last night , too drunk.

It's not cool getting that drunk , i feel awful and I have to thank my little brother alf for getting me home safely.

Kids , drink responsibly or you'll end up looking like this , not pretty ! Was quite fun though , from what i can remember. need fry up now .

before

after

Despite Lily cheekily finishing the post by stating she was listening to Girls Just Want To Have Fun, her attempt to warn teens of the dangers of binge drinking is to be congratulated. If only she were an Australian pop star, she could have been Kevin Rudd's music loving lady sidekick, perfectly complimenting his thespian civic-minded bestie Cate Blanchett.

Day by day, his totally hip and groovy credentials slip away - now Kevin Rudd has taken a leaf out of Channel Seven and Swimming Australia's book and banned his staffers from using Facebook!

Well, he's asked them - probably politely - to remove themselves from the social networking site, but still. Exactly what for isn't made entirely clear by this article, though we are left to assume it's a preventative measure in order to avoid potential "embarrassment".

The request follows the publication at the weekend of pictures posted on Facebook that were taken by Mr Rudd's executive assistant Mr John Fisher while he was travelling overseas with the Prime Minister.

Seriously though, can't Kevin just update his privacy settings and go about in a flurry of de-tagging? Make a friend list, Kevin!

Ha! I very much enjoyed the following story sent in by Defamer Australia reader Elmo. It seems our Prime Minister likes Motley Crue, or at the very least, is open to the idea of reading the infamous book "The Dirt" and learning more about them.

We were at a taping of Q&A at the ABC last night, waiting in the audience for our Blessed Leader to arrive. So I was reading my friend's copy of the Dirt while we were waiting, just to bone up on the issues of the day. We nyukked about how funny it would be to get KRudd to sign it for us. It took two tries, but he dutifully did, out on the street in front of the ABC.

Thus earning our buddy Alex the coveted title of Everyone's Personal Hero.

"Have you read it?", she asks.

KRudd glances at cover.

"Ah. No. But I will."

"It's really very good."

So if it could be arranged for a copy of Motley Crue's autobiography to be
sent to the Prime Minister's office, that'd be tops.

There was a sign early in the piece that he'd be up for it - he wears Blundstones.

Rock on, PM. Rock on.

Defamer Australia was fortunate to attend the massed gathering at Melbourne's Federation Square this morning, where around 8000 people watched Prime Minister Kevin Rudd deliver a moving, intelligent, compassionate and, yes, long overdue apology to the members of the Stolen Generation and for the damage and hurt that it caused Australia's Indigenous people.

Unfortunately for just about everyone there, we also watched opposition leader Brendan Nelson deliver his "apology", which was about as sincere as Jonah saying "Sorry, ranga!" and went a little something like this (and we're paraphrasing, so no quoting us in your school projects): "My mum said I had to apologise to you, but you lot should take a long, hard look at yourselves and get your hand off the bottle and the petrol can, after all, our grandfathers died in the war for you, or something, and no one wants to be born in a remote Indigenous community, anyway, so we did the right thing - it's not our fault you're having a cry about it now."

As one increasingly incensed young professional type next to us shouted, "You're demeaning the whole f--king country with your words."

And while we were moved to tears by Kevin's speech and by the faces of the members of the Stolen Generation who attended Parliament as distinguished guests, we were equally moved - in a slightly different way - when Melbourne decided en masse to tell Brendan what we thought of his speech. This was the view from where we were standing:

Yes, Melbourne turned their backs on Nelson (not before one memorable skater dude in front of us stood for a good two minutes with double flipped birds aimed at the screen), a fact that was duly noted by the ABC's Tony Jones the moment he returned to the telecast following the adjournment.

The Age has footage of the moment here, and we were proud of both parts of Melbourne's reaction to this wonderful day - proud to be a part of saying "sorry", and proud to tell Brendan Nelson he is, in fact, a dickhead.

You know, there's something kind of nice about Kevin Rudd having the grown up equivalent of a "Back To School" party on his last weekend of freedom before the bespectacled leader of this fine nation knuckles down once more, finally leaving Julia Gillard free to peruse assorted shoe stores looking for comfortable, practical footwear with high grip caterpillar treads.

Even better? The star factor, baby! Star factor!

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is determined to enjoy the very last days of his holiday break in Sydney, hosting an intimate dinner with celebrities Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness last night.

The A-list celebrities, together with Federal Arts and Environment Minister Peter Garrett and his wife Doris, joined the Rudd family for a dinner at Kirribilli House.

You'd never see famous types of that calibre coming over for tea at Kirribilli House during the Howard years, now would you?

News Ltd are rather concerned about Kevin Rudd. It seems our new PM has taken more time off over Christmas than some would like, and they've decided to voice their worries regarding this issue.

With Australians heading back to work facing soaring petrol prices and the threat of another interest rate rise, the man in charge of the country remains holed up in his plush new Sydney home.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who is on leave until Monday, is staying at Kirribilli House where he is "using the time to prepare for the year", according to a spokeswoman.

"He's at Kirribilli going through Government briefings, preparing for the year," she told The Daily Telegraph.

Sure, sure. Don't lie to us, he's been playing with his Wii!

But with Harbour views and his family by his side, Mr Rudd has refused to budge from Sydney's most spectacular address.

"Refused to budge"? Have there been failed attempts to coax him out of Kirribilli that we don't know about? The above sentence leads us to visualise Kevin barricading the doors, loading his rifle, chewing tobacco, and screaming out the window "Y'all ain't never gonna take me alaaaahve!" before firing off some warning shots.

Our favourite bit about the entire article has to be the accompanying photoshopped image of the Prime Minister. For some inexplicable reason, Kevin Rudd's lengthy holiday has inspired something straight from a gay porn site. Is there a News Ltd staffer using this story as an excuse to finally publish some of his private Kevin Rudd Wank Bank Collection works?