joss stone
It’s Getting Hot In Herre: Joss Stone Dating Nelly? Whatever Next?
9:11AM Jess McGuire | I had no idea Nelly was even around anymore because I am not totally switched on when it comes to all things youth and hip hop, but it appears the man who singlehandedly tried to turn BandAids into facial accessories is not only alive, but dating Joss Stone! Yes, he’s allegedly “diggin’ on” the British soul princess.
British soul singer Joss Stone is reportedly dating Amercian rapper Nelly.
The British star has been on several secret dates with the 33-year-old US rap star – who is 12 years her senior – and is said to be smitten with him.
A source revealed: “Joss and Nelly have been out on a few dates. It’s early days but Joss is really happy. It’s great that she has met someone as successful as she is and who understands the pressures of being a performer.”
This means that Joss no longer has to carry through with her threat of becoming a lady-diver.
The music star – who recently performed at a Hollywood awards ceremony for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation – quipped: “Every girl my age wants to be in a relationship, but I haven’t had one for two years. I think I’ll have to turn lesbian!”
That’s pretty much how the whole gay thing works, so I understand. Can’t find a good man, nestles between the comforting legs of a female acquaintance, finds some sort of happiness to pass the time until the menfolk resume interest, rinse, repeat. More » 
Joss Stone Confirms She’s Nothing But A Flake
9:00AM Clem Bastow | Defamer Australia readers may have seen the current art-wank Cadbury Flake ad doing the rounds in Australia, featuring Alyssa Sutherland passed out in a car in a field while the rain goes backwards (not to mention taking the Flake out of her mouth as though she realises it’s made of goose shit), or something.
Well, in the UK, the Flake campaign has a 40-year history of hysterical phallic imagery such as women in bathtubs or wandering through fields of sunflowers “enjoying” (read: fellating) their chocolate penises bars.
So, you can imagine we were thrilled to hear that none other than Defamer Australia personal guru Joss Stone is the new Flake girl! And, typically, she’s doing it in her own, nu-soul way.
“Many women in the public eye want to [promote] things like slimming pills and how to have bigger breasts. But I thought, maybe I could promote chocolate, ‘cos it tastes good. People need to stop worrying about being skinny and things like that.”
“Because it tastes good.”
Dear Joss is about as complicated as the thought process that no doubt ran through the ad executives’ heads in the ’60s when they realised that women sucking off chocolate knobs would perhaps be a successful and lasting advertising campaign. More »
Joss Stone Rediscovers Inner Style Icon, No Longer Needs To Throw Tea And Biscuits Across The Room In Appearance Related Frustration
9:27AM Jess McGuire | Poor ol’ Joss Stone has had a hard time of it over the last few years. No longer the flavour of the month she once was during those blissful days of Fell In Love With A Boy acclaim (or as those of us at Defamer Australia HQ prefer to define it, the diggin’ on yooooou, are you diggin’ on meeeeee era*), Joss Stone’s transatlantic accent has earned her the derision of her fellow Brits, and her attempts at follicle revamping have been largely mocked.
No more! Finally, Joss is getting some props from her countrymen.
She is known for her hippy style and laid back approach to fashion, but Joss Stone was bang on trend last night wearing a sultry rainbow striped bandage dress.
Her figure hugging frock, which showed off a newly toned figure, is the hottest item gracing the New York Fashion Week catwalks.
You hear that, Joss? BANG ON TREND! YOU WIN LIFE, PRECIOUS DEVON-BORN SOUL WUNDERKIND!
Unfortunately, we do think it’ll be a while before folk turn to Joss for political analysis.
Joss took a moment to speak about meeting First Lady Laura Bush at the Heart Truth Red Dress show a few days ago.
“I saw the Bush lady,” she said. “I care for American politics because it affects the rest of the world so much, but I just don’t really care for the Bush family.
“I’d actually met her before at the White House and it was like ‘Hey how are you,’ and then she was gone. I mean, to be fair, I guess she seemed like a nice enough chick, but I don’t really know.”
Hush up and continue looking fabulous, woman.
*Explanation: Defamer Australia’s Editor and Associate Editor were given, for some godforsaken reason, their own late night radio show on RRR a few years back. For the last year, we’ve regularly featured a ridiculous segment referred to as Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy which basically consists of us grunting the lyrics “YEAAAAH, ARE YOU DIGGIN’ ON ME? YEAAAAAAAH I’M DIGGIN’ ON YOU NOW BABEEEEH, YEAAAAH DO YOU WANNA LIDDLE BIDDA MA LOVE?” (aka Super Duper Love) back and forth at each other until we get bored. Frightened guests on the show are also forced to participate in this debacle. Melbourne listeners and interweb streamers should be thankful Toni Childs Primal Scream Therapy – similar to Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy but to the tune of Stop Your Fussin’ – didn’t take off. More » 
Are You Diggin’ On Joss Stone’s New Hairdo? Not Likely!
9:30AM Clem Bastow | Last time Joss Stone tried to change her hairstyle she ended up chucking a tray of tea and biscuits across her dressing room, so we’ve no doubt that hairdressers everywhere had a moment’s silence for whomever had to suffer at the hands of her rage and disappointment when Stone revealed her new do.
And Bizarre’s Saint Victoria, for one, is not impressed with Joss’ look.
The singer is almost as famous for her horrid hair styles, fake American accent and Diva tantrums, as her oustanding voice these days.
And her latest do is truly awful.
One fan said: “Joss’ hair was unusual to say the least. It was black with purple stripes.”
Another suggested that on closer inspection it may have been a wig in an attempt to hide last month’s hiccup.
If anything, we’re inclined to think that Joss may have heard Dicko describing Tarisai as an angry Bratz doll and thought that Bratz chic is the new look to strive for. More » Joss Stone Available For Weddings, Parties, Anything; Hefty Price Tag The Only Drawback
8:35AM Jess McGuire | Planning your work’s festivus celebration in December, but unable to agree upon the entertainment? Sal in marketing is insisting on Amazing Danny, the popular party magician, whilst Jamal from accounts won’t stop raving about the Boogie Fever 70’s Retro Disco Show Band. If something isn’t decided upon quick sticks, there will be blood shed!
Well, bicker no longer, because you’d be MAD to miss out on hiring pink streak-happy Devon soul singer Joss Stone – for a totally reasonable $100,000!
As the 20-year-old singer is swinging into Sydney for a series of concert dates in early December, her US management have contacted celebrity endorsement agency Markson Sparks! to help them capitalise on her visit.
“Joss Stone is looking for commercial endorsements/sponsorship opportunities while she is touring OZ in December this year,” was the notice posted by a Markson Sparks! publicist on industry website Social Diary yesterday.
“There is also an opportunity to have her perform live at your next private event.”
But as this lovely lady isn’t your average RSL entertainer, those keen to sign Stone to their stage should expect to dig deep – you’ll need at least 100,000 big ones.
Being a bit short of a buck at the moment, it looks like Defamer Australia will have to pass on the idea of getting Joss to perform at our end of year knees up. Never mind. Instead, Defamer Australia’s associate editor Clem “CLAM!” Bastow and yours truly will simply continue indulging in what we like to refer to during I’d Rather Jack as Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy.
Essentially, this involves two people singing the chorus of Joss Stone’s MEGA HIT Super Duper Love back and forth – ensuring that the throaty passion of Ms Stone’s voice is impersonated and yes, exaggerated, to the nth degree.
Person 1: Yeh! Are you diggin’ on me?
Person 2: Oooooh! I’m diggin’ on you now, baby!
(repeat)
It may sound strange, but it’s incredibly soothing and tends to calm even the most stressed of individuals. So if you can’t afford to muster up the cash for actual Joss Stone, then simply indulge in some Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy* – it’s free, and the aural cacophony that’ll ensue will probably be just as pleasant to listen to as the star herself!
*Coming soon – Toni Childs’ Primal Growl Therapy, involving the song “Stop Your Fussin’” More » 