jolie wombwatch
CNN Crisscrosses Globe To Ask Angelina Jolie About Iraqi Refugee Crisis, What’s Going On With Her Uterus
9:50AM Mark | Having dispensed with ten or so totally boring minutes discussing the plight of millions of Iraqi refugees with U.N. Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie, CNN correspondent Arwa Damon felt that she’d established enough of a rapport to end their conversation by finally broaching the only subject the network’s viewers really care about: “Hey, Angie, are you all knocked up with Brad’s beautiful twinsies or what?” From CNN’s transcript of Jolie’s interview on the refugee crisis: Damon: There are reports out of Hollywood that… (laughs) Jolie: Oh don’t. Stop it. (interupts I had to ask) Stay true to your tradition. You’re CNN. Don’t do it! More »
Taking A Cue From J-Lo, A Tight-Lipped Angelina Waits For Water To Break Before Revealing The Big Twins Surprise
3:47AM Seth | All you needed to do was take one look at Angelina Jolie’s SAG Awards gown, a billowy sail of silk charmeuse that could have easily smuggled a schoolhouseful of multicultural toddlers, to wonder if the actress wasn’t perhaps camouflaging something beneath all of that fabric. The world, of course, was not caught entirely off guard: News of a possibly Jolie-Pitt twins pregnancy inched its way up the tabloid totem last week, up from the paparazzi blogosphere, into the pages of supermarket literature, and now arriving in the semi-legitimate pages of Us Weekly: More »
Angelina Quenches Thirst For Three At SAG Awards By Drinking Water
9:04AM Defamer Hollywood | As much as we have tried to express restraint in the latest episode of Jolie Wombwatch, these photos of Angelina sans bubbly at last night’s SAGs are hard to look at without a raised eyebrow or two. Sure, we sometimes drink water at parties, but that’s mainly because we’re broke and don’t feel like spending 18 bucks on a sip of cheap champagne. So, with that in mind, let’s recap the facts that we know up to this point: Angie was wearing a muumuu, the Pitt-Jolies can afford champagne, and water does a pregnant body good. We entered these facts into our trusty supercomputer and the results came back with 90% certainty that Mrs. Jolie-Pitt will soon be buying a few of those trendy expandable waisted Seven jeans at Kitson (as long as no animals, babies, or trees were harmed during the manufacturing process, that is). [Photos courtesy of Getty Images] Brangelina Twins – She’s Drinking Water [PageSix.com] More »
Angelina’s Muumuu Not-So-Subtly Suggests Presence of Baby Pitt-Jolie(s)
8:27AM Defamer Hollywood | The rackalicious, curvalicious and usually teensy-waisted Angelina Jolie wore, for the first time in years, a real live muumuu to last night’s SAG Awards, adding a bit more plausibility to all those rampant ‘preggers with twins‘ rumours. Wearing a strapless vintage Hermes floaty number and clutching Brad’s arm all the way down the red carpet, any signs of the pillow-lipped Perfect 10 bod were literally camouflaged (those brown, beige and grey shades would work well in Iraq) by a dress so long and wide that anyone stepping within ten feet of the (possible) new mother of twins would have slipped on its spacious circumference. Even more suspicious? Her decision to carry a shawl, lest anyone dare take note of her newly plump arms. [Photo courtesy of Getty Images] More »
Second Exclusive Claims Insider Knowledge Of Angelina Jolie’s Super-Secret Twins Pregnancy
9:00AM Mark | Late yesterday, we expressed some healthy skepticism about x17online’s claim that an “inside source” had exclusively–exclusively!–revealed to them that Angelina Jolie, in her latest extravagant act of generosity to a world desperately in need of the salvation that only her womb can provide, had decided to become pregnant with twins, providing Chosen One Shiloh with the much-needed back-up the genetically perfect, anointed toddler will need to carry out her future missions of mercy across the globe. More »
