john laws

Radio Is A Potentially Deadly Line Of Work…

9:43AM Jess McGuire | Having spent a little bit of time behind a microphone myself, I can personally vouch for the fact that many radio hosts spend their time on air legitimately fearing for their lives. I remember the time I played a 12 minute extended remix of Meat Loaf’s ‘I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) and refused to leave the building for the next 12 hours lest an irate RRR listener, worked up by the Jim Steinman madness I’d inflicted upon their ears, glassed me outside the studio. And it seems I’m not the only broadcaster in the country scared of being murdered on air – apparently there are some successful folk on the wireless (I’m talking about men and women who have an audience of more than ten people) who feel terrified too! Which radio star refuses to broadcast from a studio with windows, for fear he’ll be shot by a sniper? The high-profile presenter’s paranoia was revealed by rivals when ABC Evenings’ Andrew Daddo was casually handing over to Nightlife host Tony Delroy. An aside – there are Daddos working for ABC Local Radio? I love it! More »

Golden Tonsils To Derryn Hinch – “You’re A Despicable C—!”

7:32AM Jess McGuire | It seems retirement is really agreeing with John Laws – he’s finally free to say what he feels how he likes whenever the mood takes him. And running into fellow radio star Derryn Hinch in a Sydney restaurant yesterday proved the perfect opportunity for some straight talkin’… Hinch said Laws barged into the restaurant, leaned on the table where he was lunching with radio legend Bob Rogers, and barked: “You two are both despicable c—s.” “He was so bitter. Reptilian is the word I would use to describe him,” Hinch said. Reptilian, eh Derryn? Do go on… Hinch said Laws’s verbal assault took him by surprise. Laws: “Look at you, you’re a failed alcoholic.” Hinch: “I guess you’re a successful one.” Laws: “No, I’m not.” Hinch: “Then you’re a good actor.” Laws: “You’re such a hypocrite.” Hinch: “I don’t think you can talk about people being hypocritical.” Laws: “When have I been hypocritical?” Hinch: “Take ‘cash for comment’ for starters.” Hinch said the confrontation ended when Carlton convinced Laws to leave. Good old Mike Carlton – truly the United Nations of radio jocks. We hope this is just the first target in Lawsie’s post-radio career hitlist. Bring on verbal fisticuffs directed toward Alan Jones and Steve Price, says Defamer Australia! More »

John Laws Adds “Asians” To The Ever Growing List Of People Who Just Don’t Get His Plain Talkin’ Ways

3:55PM Jess McGuire | John Laws had a tasty little spray at Asian drivers today on his 2UE morning show, This morning’s tirade was directed at a Chinese-Australian caller named “Helen”. Helen was describing the trouble she had recently experienced with the cross-city tunnel. She had been fined for failing to pay the toll. Laws asked her why she hadn’t paid the toll and Helen said she didn’t know that there was one. “I never travel to east (sic), that’s the first time I travel to east.” Talking over the top of Helen, Laws said: “Sounds like you travelled from the east.” He continued: “Obviously you’re Asian are you?” Helen said she was from China. And away Laws went. “I understand that Chinese drivers are probably the worst drivers on the face of the earth,” he said. “You probably fall into that category along with the rest of them.” By this time Helen was superfluous to requirements and was cut off. “I’ll give you even money that sweet Helen’s little, too. She’s about 4′ 8. I can see it. They look out between the steering wheel and the top of the dashboard. “You’ve got to… well, I won’t put it that way… well, I will: you’ve got to keep your eyes open. “Now I’m going to be screamed at for saying (sic) that I’m being racist,” Laws then said. “I’m not being racist. I’m telling you the truth.” Now, we’re not sure but we think he might have been a bit out of line. We’re not really a hundred per cent on it though since last time he directed his attentions towards the pompous little pansy prigs of the world, it was covered in free speech and we were forced to reassess our entire stance on the issue. Also, we can’t be the only one who thinks he looks like the head of the Gay Mafia in the photo used in the Daily Telegraph article, surely? More »

Poofy Pillowbiting Pompous Little Pansy Prigs Take Note

8:17AM Jess McGuire | The latest development in the John Laws versus The Faggy Faggy Bum Bandits case… Broadcaster John Laws has won an adjournment in a vilification case brought against him by gay activist Gary Burns. The NSW Administrative Decisions Tribunal (ADT) cleared Laws in March of vilification on the grounds of free speech over comments he made about Queer Eye For The Straight Guy personality Carson Kressley. Laws called Kressley a “pillow biter” and “pompous little pansy prig” during a 2004 broadcast, comments he defended as tongue-in-cheek. The ADT found that Laws had vilified Kressley, but that the comments fell within an exception of the Anti-Discrimination Act designed to preserve free speech. We didn’t realise that calling a diamante-covered spade a diamante-covered-spade-owned-by-a-fudgepacker is actually part of the whole free speech deal! It’s somewhat disappointing, actually. Part of the thrill of name-calling was that, you know, you’re breaking the rules and sticking it up (but not in a faggy way) The Man. Now that picking on homos is considered art or whatevs, the appeal has lessened somewhat. Anyway, as we’ve said before, we’ve always found it a bit rich that John Laws feels the need to fling unflattering monikers towards our homosexual brothers and sisters when his own nickname – Golden Tonsils – sounds like it belongs to a high class rent boy born without a gag reflex. More »

Lawsy’s Golden Microphone Has Been Stolen!

8:05AM Jess McGuire | It may well be the most daring heist since armed robbers stole Munch’s The Scream from a Norwegian museum – John Laws’ beloved golden mic has been nicked! Wearing his gold-framed glasses and gold headphones and sipping from his gold-rimmed cup yesterday, veteran broadcaster John Laws was down one vital glistening item – his golden mike. Police are treating as suspicious the disappearance from his production office of the $10,000 nine carat gold microphone presented to Lawsie in 2003 as a gift from 2UE management for his 50th year on the airwaves. Generally speaking, as a rule we’d assume the disappearance of an item made of gold and worth $10,000 to be suspicious and probably wouldn’t need the police to inform us of this fact. Thankfully, he has a “back up” golden microphone. Laws has been using another golden microphone, given to him for his 40th anniversary, since the brazen bandit looted the king of his prized instrument. “I’m very upset about it. It’s been part of my life,” Laws said yesterday. Lawsy just wants his microphone home safe and sound, and claims he won’t press charges. Now, we’re not pointing any fingers, but is Carson Kressley in the country for Melbourne Spring Fashion Week? More »