After the whole 'oh moy gourd, you guise, Jodhi Meares has totally quit Australia's Next Top Model, this is soy upsetting' fiasco, industry tattle talk has turned to discussing which leggy stunner will take over from the Tigerlilly designer in the show's host/mentor role. So, while Foxtel remain tight-lipped and watercoolers at Portmans stores the country over are deep in considered conversation on the topic, the Tele's Ros Reines offered her own theories on the topic:

It is believed that the stunning Tozzi would fit the bill in hosting the model quest and bring so much to the small screen.

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Well, as Jeanette said to John on their wedding night, that was fast and disappointing: Charlotte Dawson, it seems, will not be taking over the Australia's Next Top Model hosting gig left vacated by Jodhi Meares, as it seemed only yesterday she would be. Instead, Dawson will be focusing her attention on an as-yet untitled variety show on Foxtel:

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After months of not-very-convincing hand-wringing and assuring everyone that yes, she will come back to Australia's Next Top Model - not to mention a brief foray into soft furnishings - Jodhi Meares has surprised absolutely no one by announcing her decision to quit her AusNTM hosting gig.

Foxtel boss Brian Walsh continued his praise for Meares' "invaluable contribution" to the show.

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It hasn't been a fantastic year for Jodhi Meares, really; if her hosting skills weren't already subject to enough fervent debate at the Vogue Forums, her no-show at the Australia's Next Top Model live finale was the last straw. So, you could forgive her for wanting to throw herself into some new projects to take her mind off things - and perhaps said mind-taking-off (or, indeed, out, i.e., of her skull and into a glass jar and replaced by an alarm clock) explains her interesting logic when it comes to describing her new gig as an interior designer for a Potts Point development...

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After pulling out of the Australia's Next Top Model finale (citing a reason to the tune of "I don't do live television"), and then fleeing to the beach when the probing questions got too much, and then having the Foxtel boss say she wasn't going anywhere, it seems Jodhi Meares has decided to set the record straight.

She has done this by, er, giving a rather evasive interview in which she kinda sorta maybe says she won't be hosting the modelling show next year.

"It's not something that I ever agreed to do, or would ever agree to do," Meares told Grazia.

"I am not an entertainer, I don't aspire to handle crowds of that level. I said that upfront and Foxtel were totally fine about it."

[...]

Meares called police to fend off reporters at her Sydney home last week before fleeing to Hamilton Island.

And any plans to salvage her Foxtel contract are off the agenda, with Meares saying she does not expect to stay in the media.

"I don't see it as something I will need to manage in the future," she said.

Well, as much as I think the whole fracas dissolved into a bit of a farce, I have to say I'm not going to mourn her departure (you know, if she does depart); her hosting duties have been, how you say, actually a bit shit.

Aside from the fabulous Charlotte Dawson, who else would make a good AusNTM host? Mink? Miranda Kerr? Jeannie Little?

Bad news for those who were hoping Charlotte Dawnson and her sassypants would snatch the Australia's Next Top Model hosting spirit stick from Jodhi Meares after her, er, underwhelming (i.e. nonexistent) performance in the role come grand finale time: Foxtel sez Meares isn't going anywhere.

Somewhere in the suburbs of Sydney, Charlotte Dawson is contacting Fiona Horne to see how she can make a Wiccan career spell out of a pile of Tigerlily samples and a can of kerosene.

The pay-TV channel's CEO Brian Walsh slammed reports claiming executives on the model contest were "furious" after Meares pulled out of the live decider over stage fright.

"Nothing could be further from the truth. I rang Jodhi on Friday and reiterated the fact she has our full support and apologised for the media circus it's become," Walsh told Confidential yesterday.

"We won't be discussing contracts (for next year) until next month, but I told her to go have a holiday and forget about it."

Blah blah, whatever, but what's most exciting is that at the very least, as the piece goes on to note, it looks as though big things are planned for Dawson anyway:

Walsh had good news for Dawson too, revealing the Foxtel femme had been "earmarked" to host a major new series for the network next year.

"I haven't talked to her about it yet but it has a big live component with a studio audience and I think she'd be great," Walsh said.

And, rumour (read: The Vogue Forums) has it that Dawson and Alex "Tiny Mouth" Girdwood will be muscling in on Demelza's Vogue shoot, which would be amazing and create hilarity for all.

So you see? All is well with the world.

Throughout the whole "OMG Jodhi Meares!" fiasco following her Australia's Next Top Model finale no-show, news.com.au have been doing what they do best - peppering articles about her with "Read More" and tenuously relevant "Gallery" links.

The latter led to this particular gallery, Jodhi Meares: the Packer years. So far, so pointless - until you get to photo #8:

You're right, eagle-eyed model experts, that is Erica Baxter modelling the-then-Mrs Packer's wares.

The caption reads:

Designer Jodie Packer (right) with a model as she prepares for her Australian Fashion Week parade for her new swimwear label Tigerlily, 2000.

A perhaps more appropriate caption, in light of events between 2000 and 2008, might have been "Designer Jodhi Meares with her future-ex-husband's future wife."

How did they not pick up on that!? (Although the misspelling of her name looks like it may contain some clues as to the "on it"-ness of the photo and sub-editors, she was in fact "Jodie" until 2002.)

In any case, I believe this is checkmate, Jodhi Meares. Actually, checkmate everyone.

The spectre of a sacking (and horrible nightmares featuring Charlotte Dawson beating her to an Astra Award before setting fire to her dress, leaving her waking up sweating and in tears) looms larger and larger in Jodhi Meares' mind today, no doubt, as it has been suggested that her Australia's Next Top Model finalé no-show was not the first in her career.

Confidential can reveal that the former bikini babe forced producers of Sky News Business Channel program In Business to find replacement talent after she pulled out of an appearance slated to run during Australian Fashion Week in May.

Meares, who sold her swimwear label Tigerlily to surfwear company Billabong in December, was to have been the celebrity guest interview during the half hour program before she pulled out, citing sickness.

Well, to be honest, that sounds a bit like Confidential is clutching at straws, BUT, I question whether Meares has ever been that great a host of the model franchise, live finale or no live finale. She frequently reads from notes at elimination, often seems uncomfortable, fights with the other judges in a petulant manner, and plays favourites (Steph H, Demelza) to the nth degree.

So, we'll say it again: CHARLOTTE. DAWSON.

Apart from the obvious outcry over Demelza "Bully" Reveley taking out the crown, the biggest hoo haa following the Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4 finalé has been about Jodhi Meares' no show as the host of the finale.

It's a bit of a moot point, as Charlotte Dawson proved (again) that she's the better, funnier and more capable host, but really, if Meares is getting the mad bucks to be the face of Australia's Next Top Model, surely she can take some Rescue Remedy and bring herself to face a live audience?

Apparently smarting from the backlash, Meares has had a rep talk to the press, because evidently she's afraid of that, too.

"From the beginning Jodhi never agreed to do a live show of that scale," Ali Hainsworth said.

"It needs to be put out in the open because to throw something like that on someone wasn't entirely fair."

Uhh, that may be the case, but a casual viewing of either Cycles 1 and 2 of AusNTM or, like, every single Cycle of America's Next Top Model would reveal the obvious point that the grand final is always "a live show of that scale".

Those friendly folk over at the Daily Telegraph have helpfully assembled a few YouTube highlights of Jodhi's "work" at last year's grand final.

And seeing as our "C'mon Tiny Mouth" campaign for Alex to win the gong didn't go so well, we'll be doing nothing similar to try to get Dawson the hosting slot full-time next year in case we jinx her, but let it be known that I reckon Charlotte Dawson is the bomb shit.

Evidently our "C'mon Tiny Mouth!" campaign to get Alex across the line in the Australia's Next Top Model finale fell on deaf ears, because - thanks to the public vote after a split judges' vote - Demelza Reveley is the Cycle 4 winner.

She did not have Kirstie Clements' (Editor In Chief of Vogue Australia) vote, which means we can all look forward to finding Demelza in an advertorial shoot stuffed up the back of the magazine near the stockists' list. No cover for you, Demelza!

And, hmm, I wonder what the press thinks about the result? A sampling of headlines:

Teen bully Demelza Reveley wins Next Top Model

'Bully' 16-year-old takes out Next Top Model final

'Bitchketeer' Demelza Reveley wins Australia's Next Top Model

And so on. They make a good point - with the focus on bullying, cyber bullying and harassment in the media currently, what message does it send to young girls? That you can bully your way to the top? That it's okay to be a bully if you have a pretty face?

Unfortunately I can offer no thoughts on the finale as I wasn't even within a 10km radius of anyone with a) Foxtel or b) a VCR and b.i) a courier helicopter, so can only go on what is reported in the papers and what was relayed to me via SMS.

And on the latter topic, the bulk of the SMSes were along the lines of "OMG WTF no Jodhi?" - evidently Ms Meares has a fear of live television (and sent well wishes to the finalists via video link). So, er, doesn't that mean she's a pointless choice as a host, if the "Live Finale" is the glittering jewel in the AusNTM crown?

Give the gig to Charlotte Dawson!

Did you watch the finale? Did you press your big red button and vote for Demelza?