We've already heard enough stars insisting that those sex scenes we find either major turn-ons (Mickey Rourke force-feeding Kim Basinger strawberries on the kitchen floor in 9 1/2 Weeks) or majorly eye-scarring (Heather Graham faking her way through grainy limo thrusts in Boogie Nights) are totally perfunctory while filming. With the massive crew surrounding them, the sudden lighting checks, and simple fact that they've gotta feign spontaneous heat take after take, we've leaned towards taking their word for it. And as it turns out, no matter how big the star or legendary their prowess in the bedroom, even simple kissing scenes with the most gorgeous A-listers around range from "awkward and sweaty" to "slightly icky and sort of wet." Where Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Harrison Ford, Leonardo DiCaprio and more rank on the list of Worst On-Screen Kissers after the jump.

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Like it or not, nerd-turned-comedy-mogul Judd Apatow has tapped the fleshy centre of the zeitgeist once again by unleashing Jason Segel's manhood unto the world. And now, it looks like there's a very hard hardcover release to look forward to in which Hollywood's most legendary male assets are celebrated and outed — and we're not talking shockers like Milton Berle. Among the nuggets revealed in Hollywood Babylon: It's Back include the actor that's been called "donkey'd" by his female co-stars, the 1950s poster boy's package was well-known in the prepubescent boy community, and who once posed nude for artists, earning himself the whisper, "It was the biggest I've ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil."

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While we appreciate the earnest viral efforts of studio marketers on behalf of Cloverfield, The Dark Knight and even half-assed fare like Quarantine, there's a strangely revolting quality to the derisive, almost misogynist analogue throwback accompanying the new Apatow Assembly Line comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. So much so that a mad bomber is fighting off those Universal billboards and bus placards with a guerilla campaign that we can't determine is the real deal or just some second wave of the studio's low-concept offensive. Help us decide after the jump.

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