jamie lynn spears
Britney’s Mum Finally Admits That Meltdown Was All Her Fault
4:51AM Kyle Buchanan | There’s something about that wily British press that can extract a flat-out mea culpa from interview subjects where hundreds of American journalists have tried and failed. Frost did it with Nixon, and now the Daily Mail does it with Lynne Spears, mother of Britney. No doubt, a ragtag group of journalists and producers got together for months poring over their strategy, and now, finally, they have given Lynne the cross-examination she never had, producing the apology an entire country had been clamouring for: More »
Jamie Lynn Spears Pioneers Brand-New ‘Lipo While Pregnant’ Gambit
4:03AM Kyle Buchanan | It was just last December when knocked-up teen Jamie Lynn Spears attended a showing of knocked-up teen comedy Juno, and oh, how we all larfed! The parallels, they were strong! The imagined glances between Jamie Lynn and mum Lynne, so awkward! Now, though, Star is revealing an extra wrinkle that might have made that Juno viewing even more unbearable: you see, much like our homeskillet Juno MacGuff, Jamie Lynn originally thought she was carrying a “food baby.” Sadly, by the time she figured out it was a “baby baby,” she had already done something she probably shouldn’t have: More »
5 Unanswered Questions Prompted By ‘Britney: For the Record’
5:15AM Kyle Buchanan | After weeks of doling out clips to a Cheeto-starved global audience, MTV finally aired the paparazzi cautionary tale entitled Britney: For the Record in the US last night. “No topic was off limits,” boasted the introductory crawl. “No question went unanswered.” And no follow-up question went asked! Thus, we left the special with almost as many concerns as we had going in, including: More »
Experts Urge American Girls to Leave Teen Pregnancy to the Stars
7:37AM STV | Teen pregnancy just isn’t the Oscar-nominated, tabloid-cover romp Hollywood makes it out to be, according to a new report released today in Chicago. Amid the gloomy data noting 400,000 such US births per year (at a public cost of $US7.6 billion), experts cited increasing cultural influence among girls who look to Jamie-Lynn Spears, Bristol Palin and even Juno as models of upstanding teenage motherhood. Alas, as you probably could have guessed, the experts at a subsequent panel discussion begged to differ: More »
Lynne Spears Book Tour to Address The Real Victim: Lynne Spears
8:10AM Kyle Buchanan | It ain’t easy being Lynne Spears: sure, you can live off the wealth accumulated from your daughters’ hard work and sell their teen pregnancy secrets to OK! for a million dollars, but occasionally, people will think you’re a bad parent! That’s why it’s important for Lynne to set the record straight, and the Today Show gave her just the forum this morning. Hawking her book Through the Storm, Lynne discussed the perils of overexposing your children, something that will surely be nipped in the bud by her incredibly revealing tell-all about daughter Britney’s loss of virginity. Congratulations, Lynne: here’s your celebratory Cheeto. [Today] More »
Jamie Lynn Spears to Bristol Palin: ‘Yes, We So Totes Can’
6:25AM Defamer Hollywood | How does an unwed teen mother like Jamie Lynn Spears occupy her free time, now that the father of her baby is out touching tongues with predatory cougars? Why, by taking an interest in politics, of course! In the tradition of amateur pundit Lindsay Lohan and Swiftian theorist Albert Brooks, Jamie Lynn is the latest celeb to weigh in on the Sarah Palin Juneau scandal, but the starlet isn’t content to confine her thoughts to a mere blog post. No, according to CelebTV, she’s actually sending a gift to fellow teen mother Bristol Palin:
Jamie Lynn’s Babydaddy Accused of Illicit Tongue-Touching
8:20AM Defamer Hollywood | Now that Britney’s sister Jamie Lynn Spears has just “had the damn Caesarian already,” you might think the 17-year-old would be free to raise her new baby in relative peace. Sadly, the newest issue of InTouch arrives bearing the.gift of postpartum depression; the magazine has alleged that babydaddy Casey Aldridge has been cheating on Jamie Lynn with an older woman, 28-year-old Kelli Dawson. They even have proof: incriminating pictures of the two touching tongues as though they were eight-year-olds who wanted to try out the exotic concept known as “french kissing.” Says the mag: More »
Bible Publisher Set to Release The Lynne Spears Guide to Fucking Up Your Children
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Though they’ve already missed the perfect Mother’s Day window, publisher Thomas Nelson, Inc. has just released new information on a parenting guide/cautionary tale penned by Britney and Jamie Lynn materfamilias Lynne Spears and set for release next month. Dubbed Through the Storm, the book will no doubt prove instructive to any stage mother willing to milk her daughters for all they’re worth, subsequently ignoring them when their pregnancies/mental breakdowns interfere with a novelty T-shirt sale at Kitson (free out-of-season Uggs with any purchase!). Says Star Magazine:
Alba, McConaughey Offspring Already Slumming It With OK!
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Ah, the three trimesters of Hollywood child birth: 1. pretend to love pregnancy, 2. schedule a c-section in order to sidestep any labour or stretching of siren vag, and 3. whore out your newborn’s picture to the highest bidder. It’s such a magical time! And while there are critics, it’s a natural response to choose to splash your baby’s face across the tabloids, especially when you constantly publicly reminisce about the good ol’ days when you could buy panty liners in private. And why participate in the Hollywood Baby Bonanza? It’s not like the early publicity will morph your kid into some kind of poorly mannered fauxhawked skunk. However, it will get you paid.
