james packer

James Packer and Erica Baxter Announce The Birth Of Their Very Own Indigo Girl

8:34AM Jess McGuire | Sound the trumpets! Congratulations to James Packer and Erica Baxter who have welcomed into the world their first little princess, Ms Indigo Packer. The Packer dynasty has a new heir, a girl named Indigo. The first child to the media and gambling billionaire James Packer and his wife, Erica, was born at Sydney’s Mater Hospital yesterday afternoon. Mrs Packer and Indigo were receiving visitors at the hospital last night. The Channel Nine chief executive, David Gyngell, and his wife, Leila McKinnon, were among them. Mr Gyngell said the “beautiful little baby girl” was healthy and “looks just like her mother”. He said James was “a very happy man”. Whether James was specifically stoked to learn Indigo resembles the Baxter brood rather than the Packer clan is unconfirmed. Meanwhile, Erica is living it up at the Mater. Mrs Packer has one of the three rooms, the baby another, and the third, full of flowers and fruit, is for guests. Visitors were last night celebrating with Johnnie Walker’s rare Blue Label whisky. Ritzy! Now all that remains to be seen is whether the women’s mags will work themselves into a dribbling frenzy over the choice of moniker (Indigo doesn’t really work for me, it’s a little too bogan chic…) like they did when poor little Sunday Rose entered the world. The Adelaide Advertiser are already puzzling over the name, informing us of the following facts… … the infant’s colourful name is likely to attract further scrutiny of Mr Packer’s alternate religious beliefs and previous links to Scientology. Sceptics denouned (sic) belief in the powers of Indigo children, so-called because of their allegedly powerful auras and ability to move things with their minds. According to the new age theory, they are strong-willed and highly-sensitive individuals. A more traditional reading of the baby’s name derives from the indigo plant, which is used for its deep blue dye. Wait… what? How is the idea of “indigo children” linked to Scientology? Now, if they’d named the little one Xenu or Hubbard, I could make a connection. Alternate religious belief (or “hippy shit”, as it’s also known) perhaps – a link to ScienceLOLogy, I’m not so sure. Maybe they are just into horticulture. Or lesbian folk musicians. ATTENTION SCIENTOLOGISTS – THE READING MATERIAL AND DVDS YOU GAVE ME DID NOT COVER ‘INDIGO CHILDREN’ AT ALL*. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPOON-BENDING PURPLEY KIDS? PLEASE ADVISE, THANK YOU. *ALTHOUGH THERE WAS AN AMUSING ‘HIP HOP’ SONG PERFORMED BY PARTICULARLY STREETWISE SCIENTOLOGIST YOUTHS. More »

James Packer And Lachlan Murdoch No Longer Telling Their Friends About One.Tel, These Days Preferring Simply To Bitch To Them About How Much Weight The Other Has Gained Over The Past Few Years

9:26AM Jess McGuire | Feud-alert! smh.com.au is reporting that the relationship between Lachlan Murdoch and Scientology-fan James Packer is no longer a rosy one, with the pair suddenly morphing into replicas of their bickering fathers after a business deal went awry. Says the paper – The decade-long truce in the great war of the media moguls has ended – or at least taken a nasty turn for the worse. More »

Helpful Media Outlets Continue To Provide Excerpts From Cruise Biography: Today We’ll Hear About His Special Friendship With James Packer

9:48AM Clem Bastow | Disappointed that we can’t buy and devour Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography in Australia? Dry those weeping eyes! For the various news outlets in the country are determined to read us a bedtime story from the book every day, or so it seems – and today’s chapter concerns Tom’s Speedo-wearing Australian pal and rumoured Scientology recruit, James Packer. Are you ready children? Then let’s begin: “Dominated by his larger-than-life father (the late Kerry Packer), James Packer cut a sorry figure, overweight and out of shape. “Not only had his One.Tel communications business collapsed, but his wife of just two years had walked out on him. “His ‘ruin’ was obvious to anyone – and it did not take long before he was reading Scientology literature.” Morton says Mr Packer was specifically targeted by Cruise, who by mid-2002 had resolved to dedicate his life to Scientology. He suggests Cruise offered Mr Packer a role as a samurai extra in the film The Last Samurai solely to convert him. Mr Packer was quickly seduced, saying later he admired Cruise for his humility, values and decency. Aww, poor widdle Jamie! He told his friends about One.Tel – and then he had no friends! How kind of Tom Cruise to swoop in and cheer him up – after all, it’s Tom’s “responsibility” as a ScientoLOLogist to help out in situations of dire need – he is “the authorities”! To celebrate this ongoing madness, here’s some vintage John Safran after the jump – Who Wants To Be An Operating Thetan Level VIII? More »

Fat Rich Blokes Might Marry Beautiful Girls, But They Ain’t Getting Any Nookie

9:59AM Busty St Clair | Every now and then medical and psychological researchers discover things about humans and the human condition that are astoundingly important to the development of our species. This is not one of those times. According to a study published in the Personality and Social Responsibility Bulletin, MUSCULAR young men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-chiselled peers. Their study … suggests muscles in men are akin to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks: They attract females looking for a virile mate. Well, duh. “Women are predisposed to prefer muscularity in men,” study author David Frederick of UCLA said. “Most research is focused on what men find physically attractive in women and the career traits women find attractive in men,” Mr Frederick said. “Much less research is devoted to what women find attractive.” He said prior studies concluded a man’s desirability was influenced more by his earning potential and commitment. His study found physical characteristics mattered more. Hold on, hold on, back up there for a minute. Physical characteristics are more important than earning potential? This can only mean one thing. Erica Baxter and James Packer aren’t having sex. More »

Tom Cruise To Marry Jamie Packer!

1:51PM Jess McGuire | But not in a gay way, because both men are enthusiastic vagina hunters* and don’t you forget it. We’ve held off writing about James Packer’s impending nuptials to fellow Scientology follower Erica Baxter because to be honest, we’ve been too swept up in the excitement of it all to pause our hyperventilation and actually sit down at the keyboard to bang out some rubbish about their love affair. But today’s twist to the wedding story is simply too good, and so we’ve huffed on an inhaler and applied ourselves accordingly. The A-list guests for James Packer’s wedding to Erica Baxter flooded into the French Riviera yesterday, ready for days of celebration and relaxation. One guest yet to arrive last night, however, was Tom Cruise, who if US media reports are to be believed could find himself promoted from guest to celebrant. Women’s Wear Daily claims Cruise is now at the highest level of Scientologist, which would allow him to perform the wedding ceremony for fellow L. Ron Hubbard follower Mr Packer. This revelation has sent our party thetans into fits of glee. We are simply so excited at the idea of Tom Cruise being the one who turns to the bridegroom to utter the following words (which are part of a traditional Scientology wedding ceremony) “Now, James, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them.” Because frankly, those words tickle us more than we could ever express. Perhaps a cat! PERHAPS A CAT! IT NEVER GETS OLD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA x a billion (to fade) *Phrase courtesy of our lover Simon Amstell. More »