Well, he may not be "keeping up the cats" the way Defamer Australia likes it, but he is slowly but surely improving that nauseating pile of musical excrement known as 'Beautiful'.

Yes, James Blunt has really delivered the goods with his Sesame Street rendition of 'My Triangle'. We applaud him!

How can I loathe one man's musical output so much, and yet deep inside feel quietly confident I'd really quite like the guy in person?

(Via our new sibling Babblebaby)

How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus' homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless prostitutes female friends who were overjoyed to fake anal sex and engage in a little lesbian chic foreplay for the paparazzi. The NSFW photos, including a particularly fun shot of the blondest, nude-iest girl for hire who appears to be delighted to have her head shoved towards the third wheel's crotch, after the jump:

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Poor James Blunt. All the sex and alcoholic beverages in the world won't make up for the slap in the face that was the needless cancellation of his sold out shows in Athens.

His music may be laidback, but James Blunt is on the warpath after the Greeks formed a phalanx to prevent him performing on Lykavittos Hill, the highest point in Athens.

Two sold-out concerts by Blunt were cancelled by the municipality for "safety inspections" only hours before the singer was due to take to the stage. However, concerts by Nick Cave and Mark Knopfler did go ahead. The Athens authorities admitted later that there had been no safety issue, but a letter confirming this had been "misplaced" - while 6,000 fans were locked out.

"In the best case it's carelessness and in the worst case corruption," an angry Blunt told Ta Nea, the Athens daily paper, sensing a conspiracy.

A conspiracy to protect the ears of Athenians from the dirge that is You're Beautiful? Surprisingly, the feeble mewling you're hearing in your head right now as you read about this story isn't just the chorus of "Goodbye, My Lover" raping your consciousness, it's the sound a wounded cat makes after being dropped.

Man, that James Blunt does not let up when it comes to delivering interesting sound bites! In a spectacular move sure to shock anyone who has encountered a human male before, James has opened up and bravely announced he enjoys sex and the odd alcoholic beverage!

"Sex is as important to me as it is to the next man, and, you know, it's pretty important to him."

James also revealed he enjoys drinking alcohol and cites after-show parties as one of the best perks of his job

He added: "After shows, we like to drink. At four in the morning I'll have anything that's going. After every show we have a party. 85 concerts every year means 85 after parties in 85 different countries!"

Not one mention of keeping up the cats though. Disappointing.

When it comes to the art of stealing boyfriends, no one does it better than Lindsay Lohan. As Star reports in their current issue, the blood-sucking barer of flesh successfully seduced her former slim fast buddy Nicole Richie's fiance this weekend. And her timing is suspiciously awful, considering new mum Richie is said to be sorely missing her party girl past. As a source tells Star:

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Never let it be said that the extended Defamer Australia reader community isn't a caring, sharing bunch. Earlier in the week we put out the call for anyone who might be able to help us/James Blunt KEEP UP THE CATS at his live gig, and look what - wait for it - the cat dragged in (ohh, I kill me!):

There he is, on stage at Rod Laver, keeping up the cats! Frances M Benz would be so happy!

Thanks to incredible Defamer reader Mel for her exemplary efforts above. You keep up those cats, Mel, you keep them way up!

Clem just emailed me and pointed out something rather important.

JAMES BLUNT IS IN MELBOURNE! HOW CAN WE TELL HIM TO KEEP UP THE CATS - STAGE DOOR?

Oh my god - our hero is in town? Keeping up the cats like no one's business? How did this good news pass us by for so long - were we somehow rendered unconscious, perhaps after unwittingly stumbling past a radio playing "Goodbye My Lover"?

If any of you are going, please hold up a giant sign that says 'KEEP UP THE CATS' for Defamer Australia. Or better yet, do you have a spare ticket?

CAN SOMEONE PUT US ON THE DOOR?

Over the last day or so, throughout our obsession with LOLBlunts, we have pondered the possible deeper meaning of the term "KEEP UP THE CATS", issued as it was by Frances M Benz with such unerring enthusiasm - we thought, perhaps Defamer Australia has just unwittingly tapped into a long-held relationship between tiresome whiny singer/songwriter James Blunt and cats?

Well, a cursory search of the internets revealed something that - and we don't want to scare you - could blow the whole "KEEP UP THE CATS" phenomenon to kingdom come.

In short: JAMES HAS BEEN KEEPING UP THE CATS SINCE MID-LAST-YEAR.

Don't believe it? Hold our hands and come with us over the jump, and you will finally know the shocking truth...

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And in no way is it a slight return, either!

It seems the LOLBlunt phenomenon* knows no bounds, even hopping in a time machine and molesting our childhood reminding us of the joys of Fat Cat & Friends:

Want to make your own LOLBlunt? Are you, too, keeping up the cats? Don't know what the fuck we're all talking about?

You can find all the history here, and then go to and send your own creation to tips AT defamer.com.au.

* Disclaimer: May not actually be a phenomenon

Once daft commenter and James Blunt fan Frances M Benz began the James Blunt "KEEP UP THE CATS!" mania yesterday, it's safe to say that all members of the Defamer Australia family have been, more or less, completely obsessed with one-upping each other with more and more LOLBlunt/KEEP UP THE CATS macros.

To wit, your Associate Editor's effort:

As ever, we welcome your virtuoso efforts at procrastination and idiocy contributions to the cause, so don't forget to email your own LOLBlunts to tips AT defamer.com.au!

ED: VERY WELL DONE, CLEMENTINE. A+ AND A GOLD STAR!