When I first heard Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had called up Kyle and Jackie O to give them the lowdown on little Sunday Rose, I thought "Wow, that's a weird combination - do Nic and Keith really sit and listen to those 2Day FM idiots when they're in town?"

And you know what I learned from listening to Kyle and Jackie O's exclusive interview with the loved up pair?

Firstly, I learned that Nicole is happy to admit on air that she and Keith listen to the show every morning. Unexpected!

Secondly, I learned that listening to Kyle and Jackie O doesn't make me as violent as it used to years ago. Have they improved or am I just more tolerant these days? WHY AM I NOT HATING KYLE SANDILANDS LIKE I USED WHEN LIFE MADE SENSE?! This feels just like that time Perez Hilton made me laugh out loud.

Anyway, it's a pretty good interview with both Nicole and Keith, and I am as surprised as you are to be saying that. Be sure to listen out for the bit where Kyle tells Keith he was going to send them a pony as a gift following Sunday's birth but was informed by Keith's people that there were "no facilities" on Keith's ranch in Nashville for such a present.

In a rather sweet moment, you can hear Keith pull the phone away and giggle to Nic "They were going to send us a pony, baby!" and Nicole laughs heartily in response.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Also: Sunday Rose is a confirmed ginger. Sorry, ranga!

Now you can kill me for having enjoyed a Kyle and Jackie O segment. Thank you.

Remember "the frigid game"? That stupid primary school gag where a boy (usually) would drag his finger down a girl's body until she could take no more, upon which said boy would run around hooting, "Frigid! Frigid!" No, you're right, most human adults left that one behind in about Grade Four - but not our Kyle Sandilands, who tried to spring the game on 2Day FM guest Jennifer Hawkins. Here's the transcript:

Jennifer: I was pretty frigid at school, I didn't kiss a guy till Year Nine.

Jackie: Do you want to play it?

Jennifer: I don't know!

Jackie: A guy will start at your forehead with his finger and will go down your nose and down, down, down till you pull out when you want to.

Jennifer: I can't do that! I would be frigid!

Kyle: Everyone always says you can pull out when you want to but when you've started, you've started.

Jackie: Is this harassment, are we harassing our guest?

Jennifer: You're sexually harassing me!

Kyle: We didn't really explain it to Jackie, it took her a while to realise she was being violated on the radio. It doesn't mean you aren't a decent person, Jackie's just a bit more slutty than you.

Wow, sexually harassing the guests and your co-host? It's the Kyle Sandilands way! Just think, this is the sort of hi-jinks that "King Kyle" bride-to-be Tamara Jaber gets to look forward to at the end of every day. FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE, UNTIL DEATH DO THEY PART.

Behind Big Brother announced it, the news outlets are running with the story, and we just received an insider email from a Big Brother connection confirming it as true - Big Brother has been cancelled by Channel Ten.

Were radio duo turned television hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O the kiss of death for the Big Brother franchise, or was the loss of Gretel Killeen more to blame? Did the downhill slide kick off after the debacle that was Turkeyslapgate? Or was it over and out for the Gold Coast based reality extravaganza when Lefty Tim was robbed by the Logans during the 2005 finale (no, I'm still not over it)?

Who knows. All we can be sure of is that the last few years of the program have felt like producers were going through the motions, and audiences were slowly but surely finding better things to do than stay in and watch sun-loving bogans party pashing in the spa and talking rather ignorantly about world affairs.

The show's ratings have been poor since radio jocks Kyle and Jackie O replaced previous host Gretel Killeen as the faces of this year's series.

Big Brother was even beaten in the ratings by Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan's Budget speech in May.

Ratings bounced back to more than 1.4 million this week with the appearance on Wednesday of former Playboy Bunny Pamela Anderson.

Look, Pamela's appearance on the show absolutely worked for me - she was great, charming, and funny - but it wasn't ever going to be enough to redeem the show in the eyes of the viewing public.

Rumours that the show will return in 2010 may thrill some fans (and chill the blood of Big Brother haters...) but whether a year's break will be enough to reinvigorate the program remains to be seen. That said, a hiatus was something I suggested earlier this month - relax, kittens, I'm not egotistical enough to think my daft memo to Big Brother producers was influential in any way - so fingers crossed my other suggestion (Charlotte Dawson as host! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!) is taken on board as well.

I suppose the big question is - how on earth are Channel Ten going to fill their schedule between April and July next year? M*A*S*H re-runs? They'd better not invest in local drama, or I may very well pass out in shock. I suggest buying up as many cheap reality shows featuring Jillian Michaels as you can get your paws on, dudes.

Vale, Big Brother. We knew you all too well.

Poor booted Bianca :(

(Bianca) Benigno from Queensland, who was evicted from the Network Ten series last night, says she's still upset that contestants were tricked into thinking there was a "mole" in the house, and told they must find out who it was.

"I cannot see the benefit for us for doing that task, it completely mentally tortured us for three days," Benigno said today.

Maybe I was wrong, Big Brother. Maybe it was better to totally mess with their heads and turn them against each other for no reason? MY APOLOGIES.

Still think you need to ditched Kyle & Jackie O and bring in Charlotte Dawson, though. Jackie's on stage asides - like last night's conversational "Oooh, I don't know what's going on between Brigitte and her boyfriend, something's not quite right there..." - doesn't come off as particularly insightful for some reason, just strangely unprofessional. I can say this without fear of hurting Jackie O's feelings as the Sunday Life profile on her the other week revealed Jackie can laugh at criticism now.

Good for you, babes.

Things that would have been better than making the housemates think there has been a spy amongst them from the beginning.

i) Actually putting a spy in there from the beginning.
ii) Putting an eel in the spa.
iii) Cutting off Rory's dreadlocks.

Also, after watching Australia's Next Top Model finale last night, I'm convinced you need to give the show a rest next year, and then come back in 2010 with one decent host, not two bumbling idiots whose career success continually provides the public with irrefutable proof there is no god. May I suggest...

MIKE GOLDMAN?

NO!

Charlotte Dawson. She has a sense of authority, the ability to talk to the viewer without her eye twitching, and she's just A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN KYLE AND JACKIE O.

What's the perfect way to get back at a former Prime Minister who insulted your television program and dared the network responsible for broadcasting it take it off the air?

Use footage of said Prime Minister making the aforementioned demands in your new promo!

Hahahahaha oh, you are a clever little scamp, Big Brother!

If you really wanted to torture him (and all the other Big Brother haters out there), you could hire two of the most annoying and unlikable personalities on earth and get them to appear on our television screens every single fucking night for the hideously long period the program is on air, and then - oh yeah. You've done that already. Well done, you.

(Three weeks to go until Big Brother returns. Will it be a surprising display of television awesomeness? Will Kyle and Jackie O win us over? Will we take to self-harming with the passionate enthusiasm of a teenaged Simple Plan fanatic? Time will tell...)

We can't say we're massively surprised to find this out, but it seems that 2Day FM's LA correspondent, dispatched to cover the Oscars red carpet and press room, was a bit of a f--kwit and ended up riling up both the stars and those covering the event in a fell swoop for Australian entertainment diplomacy.

Michael "Sydney" O'Neill challenged Kyle Sandilands for employee of the month status by acting like a cock while carrying out the sorts of hilarious stunts we've come to know and love 2Day FM's programming for, including trying to piss off Daniel Day-Lewis - who had just come offstage following his There Will Be Blood win - with dumb questions about how he "relaxes" (no, we don't "get" the joke, either).

After several attempts at dismissing the repeated line of questioning, an explosive Day-Lewis told O'Neill it was "none of your f...ing business" what he did in his downtime.

Earlier, O'Neill was turned away from the Kodak Theatre red carpet by event organisers for defying the strict black-tie dress code - which is applied to all working media - as well as the A-list stars.

The 2DayFM staffer had arrived wearing jeans and an Akubra, but was sent back to his hotel to change into black pants before being allowed to rejoin other media representatives for the post-awards press conference.

"All of the media were explicitly told in advance that it was black-tie for everyone in the media room," a Los Angeles insider told Confidential yesterday "with tuxes for the guys and floor-length gowns for the ladies".

"When he came back he was whinging about it being like school," the source said.

Michael "Sydney" O'Neill, could you be the new Quentin?

We would have particularly enjoyed this story if it involved Day-Lewis dishing out to O'Neill a fate similar to the one suffered by preacher Eli in Blood, only using his Oscar instead of a bowling pin.

Hopefully this is an indication that the universe is attempting to make amends for the sudden career goals being inexplicably kicked by Kyle and Jackie O.

Number one breakfast duo Kyle and Jackie O were caught with egg on their faces yesterday after they passed off a two month old interview with superstar Justin Timberlake as being live on their 2DAY FM program.

Despite being the top rating FM team in Sydney, it was rival station Nova which were given media partner allocation to Timberlake's heavily hyped Australian tour.

This immediately prevented the celebrity heavy 2DAY from gaining access to any interviews with the prince of pop during his visit.

As far as egg-on-face goes, we've seen better but hey. At this stage, we'll take what we can get.

Alright folks, if you're still distraught and horrified by the fact Gretel Killeen has been kicked off Big Brother in favour of Kyle "Faustian Pact" Sandilands and Jackie O, there's a Facebook group you can join titled "We Will Never Again Watch Your Shit Show, or, How Dare They Remove Gretel" started by Defamer Australia's very own UK Correspondent and dedicated Gretel admirer Will.

It is here, and describes itself thusly.

Gretel Killeen is no longer the host of BB-AU. And to rub salt in the wound, she has been replaced with the literally insupportable Kyle and Jackie O IS THIS A FUCKEN JOKE

Gretel was in fact the only reason most people (apart from retarded children) watched Big Brother. Now that she is gone, this will become evident.

It feels like the end of the world.

There you go.

Oh god. Oh god. It's not often we break our weekend silence, but when we woke up to a text message saying "IT'S OFFICIAL, GRETEL'S BEEN GIVEN THE ARSE" we knew we had to let you know as soon as possible.

We'd heard whispers a few weeks back, but desperately hoped against hope they would prove to be untrue because her rumoured replacements were going to be two of the world's least likable television personalities. But our worst fears have been realised - not only has Gretel left the show, but they've signed Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O for the 2008 season.

Gretel Killeen has been dumped from Big Brother as Ten seeks to revamp the struggling show by introducing new hosts, radio duo Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O.

"Working on Big Brother has been an extraordinary, challenging and rewarding experience," Killeen said.

"I'm really proud of what we've achieved but I now have the seven-year itch and am busting to get on with a million new things, including my first feature film, which we're shooting in the new year."

After seven years, the show is in dire need of a change.

The 2007 series was criticised for its boring and predictable housemates, resulting in poor ratings and speculation the show might be axed.

But producers Endemol Southern Star have confirmed the show will return in 2008 in a "tighter, re-energised format".

WHY MUST TIGHTER AND RE-ENGERGISED MEAN KYLE SANDILANDS AND JACKIE O?

"I would like to see them shake it up, especially with the contestants because I think everybody is sick of the same old contestants going in," Jackie O said. "It actually gets really boring after a while. As a fan, I have always wanted a bigger variety of people in there and also to push the contestants more."

"I want that conflict, that real sense of drama rather than that frat house drama that we've seen over the last few years," Sandilands, who is also a judge on Ten's Australian Idol, said.

We don't know, Kyle. We recall times the house has been filled with a real sense of drama over the past few years, like when that fucking idiot in the Sean John cap had a tantrum and sooked his way off the show.

Don't be fooled by our open letter, we bloody LOVE Gretel Killeen. No, really. When she's good, she's good - it's just she's obviously not wanted to be there for the last couple of years, and it's made an already dying show even harder to stomach. We simply want the little lady to be happy with all the exciting new things going on in her life. Perhaps, as our gay and UK correspondent Will once suggested, she can be "Garretted through" the ranks of the Labor party and find herself a sweet position in Rudd's posse? In any case, we wish her well.

But Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O - seriously, Ten? As far as most viewers with taste go, the Austereo pair are the television hosting equivalents of a punch in the genitals. By all means, prove us wrong next year, but we fear this may be the final nail in the coffin for our Big Brother addiction.

On the upside, at least we'll start doing something productive with our Sunday and Monday nights in 2008.