ill-advised career changes

Girls Aloud: Coming To A Big Screen Near You?

11:41AM Clem Bastow | One thing we have been hoping the whole Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana et al phenom might bring about is a return to the good old bad old days of “official” movies put out by pop groups. SpiceWorld, Head, er, the rest of them, there’s nothing better than a bunch of pop stars doing their best method acting while surrounded by slightly bewildered celebrity cameos. Well, it looks like we may get our dying wish, with the news that Girls Aloud are quite keen on the idea of doing their own feature. We’re just not so sure about the vibe they’re thinking of going for: Kimberley Walsh said: “We want it to be a Friends and Sex And The City kind of thing, all morphed into one.” Man, we love SATC, but combined with a) Friends and b) Girls Aloud’s delusions of dramatic grandeur, we’re not so sure about it. What would’ve been better would be if they proposed a heart-wrenching drama about a bunch of girls from the commission flats who band together to give it one last shot at stardom before the ranga of the group dies of a Fatal Illness backstage after they’ve won their first Brit Award. With Ray Winstone and Judi Dench as Sarah Harding’s alcoholic parents and special guest starring a fake-tanned Clive Owen as Ashley Cole. More »

Fans Of Cro-Magnon-Esque Noses Saddened To Hear Dan O’Connor Quitting Neighbours

10:57AM Clem Bastow | We’re afraid it’s true, ladies and gentlemen. Dan O’Connor, he of the variety of nose bridge not seen since Michael York in The Island Of Dr Moreau, is leaving our screens. If you cast your minds waaaay back, you may recall that O’Connor – prior to being a sissy bitch who cried when Janae left him – was once an underwhelming Australian Idol contestant, and it seems that the musicality pulsing through his veins is crying out to be released once more, so in a move of striking originality, he’s leaving Ramsay Street to relaunch his singing career. We can’t wait for that one! The former Campbelltown lad (in Sydney’s west) has announced he’s leaving his soap stud-dom behind in April to concentrate on a music career. Signing new management and with plans to head to Britain in June, the Australian Idol favourite says he hopes to have a pop/rock album ready for release by the end of the year. “To try to do music and the show at the same time is really hard. I wanted to commit to it (music) 100 per cent.” We’d say something here about “you’d want to commit to it 100%, since you suck at it”, but it’s Monday and we’re trying to start the week on a positive note. So, good luck, Dan! See you at the ARIAs, mate! More »