idiots

Radio

Kyle Sandilands Blessed On-Air, Does Not Turn To Dust

12:55PM Clem Bastow | Kyle Sandilands must be clapping his hands together with glee given that, this morning at least, there is a person – nay, six people! – more offensive than he is. Yes, “Vile Kyle” has returned to the airwaves, and did so in his infuriating inimitable style. More »
People

Carrie Prejean Suing Everyone

3:50AM Pareene | Noted wind victim Carrie “Miss Opposite Marriage” Prejean is suing three Miss California USA officials for firing her because of her religions beliefs, even though that is not actually why they fired her. More »

News.com.au Have Been Waiting So Long For AC/DC’s New Album They Forgot The Band’s Name

10:21AM Clem Bastow | Briefly in headbanging news, it seems Angus Young has taken time out from drinking milk and painting watercolours in the rolling Dutch meadows to get together with The New Guy and prepare the first AC/DC record in eight years for release. The album, Black Ice, will be out in October – and even though the group are no longer really Australian, it’s good to see that News.com.au can remember how to spell the country’s biggest rock band’s name: More »

Kyle Sandilands Surprised To Find Jennifer Hawkins Not Keen To Be Touched By His Finger

9:39AM Clem Bastow | Remember “the frigid game”? That stupid primary school gag where a boy (usually) would drag his finger down a girl’s body until she could take no more, upon which said boy would run around hooting, “Frigid! Frigid!” No, you’re right, most human adults left that one behind in about Grade Four – but not our Kyle Sandilands, who tried to spring the game on 2Day FM guest Jennifer Hawkins. Here’s the transcript: Jennifer: I was pretty frigid at school, I didn’t kiss a guy till Year Nine. Jackie: Do you want to play it? Jennifer: I don’t know! Jackie: A guy will start at your forehead with his finger and will go down your nose and down, down, down till you pull out when you want to. Jennifer: I can’t do that! I would be frigid! Kyle: Everyone always says you can pull out when you want to but when you’ve started, you’ve started. Jackie: Is this harassment, are we harassing our guest? Jennifer: You’re sexually harassing me! Kyle: We didn’t really explain it to Jackie, it took her a while to realise she was being violated on the radio. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a decent person, Jackie’s just a bit more slutty than you. Wow, sexually harassing the guests and your co-host? It’s the Kyle Sandilands way! Just think, this is the sort of hi-jinks that “King Kyle” bride-to-be Tamara Jaber gets to look forward to at the end of every day. FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE, UNTIL DEATH DO THEY PART. More »

Easy, Ladies: Rape-Lovin’ Rhys Ifans Is Single Now!

9:14AM Clem Bastow | Gangly Welsh “funny” man and most recently Sienna Miller’s ex-fiance Rhys Ifans has traditionally been one of the blokes on Defamer Australia’s “would love to get a beer with” list (alongside his female peers Charlotte Church, Tina Sparkle and Kiera Knightley). However, I will be formally rescinding his membership after his latest “hilarious” gaffe: saying date rape is a-okay! When asked by station Q Radio to describe a track by band the Gutter Twins the Welshman replied: ‘It’s kind of like being date raped, which I like.’ When the presenter asked whether date rape was a good thing he said: ‘Well yeah, for guys.’ Graham Rhodes, spokesman for a the Roofie Foundation, a helpline for victims of drug-related date rape, said: ‘If he wasn’t to retract that, it would be nice for the 9,000 people who have been drug raped in the past 12 years. ‘It shows a total lack of understanding and compassion for the issues.’ This is not the first time Ifans’ sense of humour has been badly received. Earlier this year he joked about paedophilia during a concert in aid of raising money to end child slavery and prostitution. Oh, excellent work, Rhys. We’re sure you’ll be very happy with Kimberly Stewart, unless she decides she’s not too keen on the idea of going out with a complete twonk who thinks it’s lawltastic to make gags about rape. Onya! More »

Big Brother Contestant Displays Dickhead Tendencies – No Surprises There, Then

3:26PM Jess McGuire | This is, frankly, a pisser. Is there some hypocrisy in this given your girlfriend is a stripper? She’s not a stripper, how do you know that. What? That’s so stupid. My girlfriend does sales and promotion. She knows a lot of girls who are strippers. She’s definitely not a stripper. The fact a strip club says it is a load of crap, and a friend could have been joking. Why would they? If you write that then I can get things done. I have a bit of pull, that’s how I got on the show. I can post things about you and question whether it’s true. So you’re threatening me now? I just know you’re going to portray me in a certain way, you’ve come up with this bullshit that someone’s said and it’s just crap. Well, we’ve had it confirmed from Kittens that Amy works there as Ashley It’s crap, you’re just trying to come up with some gossip, is there someone higher up I can speak to? No Why not? Because this isn’t a call centre where you ask for the supervisor Well do my lawyers have to contact you? Well, your lawyers are free to do that at any time, we’re not hard to find What you’re saying is total…the fact you posted that is lame. I’m saying right now that she’s not a stripper. The fake my girlfriend has fake boobs and dolls herself up…I will write stuff about you and the Daily Telegraph. You are threatening me, aren’t you? I can tell, that was a threat You’re gunna try and make me look like an idiot and portray me as a hypocrite because I what I said about Brigitte, I know how the media works, you’re…. I don’t think you needed our help with that, you did it yourself and seemed happy enough to bully her when you thought you had the upper hand. You implied she was smutty and said she was spoilt My girlfriend does promotions and you’re going to write crap because you think you’re a detective and you’ve found out something someone says that is crap. I want to talk to someone higher up because obviously you’re just the person doing stuff. I’ll tell them that you’d like to speak to someone Oh and what, they won’t call me, why would they want to talk to me. At least brief Big Brother “star” Michael Crafter has displayed some awareness of just how limited his time in the spolight is likely to be with that last sentence. Garth Montgomery, Defamer Australia applauds you. Especially for that call centre riposte. Bravo! More »