hurtful polo snubs

Oh, So Jordan’s Not Considered ‘Classy’ Enough For The Polo Scene, But That Harry Potter Strumpet Is Allowed To Fling Herself Upon Countless Men?

9:34AM Jess McGuire | Further proof that Jordan may be onto something when she claims the world of polo is conspiring against her by refusing to allow her to attend Cartier’s International Polo match (is it a match? Some sort of awards night? I honestly don’t care, but I am outraged enough on Jordan’s behalf to continue to bang on about the event regardless of my ignorance – incidentally, an approach I use when it comes to most subjects) – while Jordan may have been banned, that tiresome little slut puppy* from the Harry Potter films, Ms Emma Watson, was permitted to attend and used her time there to talk to many, many men. Look at them all! Unbelievable. Somehow Emma Watson dangerously using feminine wiles and devilishly throwing out come-hither looks like this - - at polo playing menfolk (who probably all buggered each other senseless during their lonely years at exclusive private boarding schools – METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, LAWYERS) is fine, but Jordan getting her tits out in a couple of magazines and naming her only daughter Princess Tiaamii and marrying the man responsible for Funky Junky means she’s not allowed to attend the same function? It’s a messed up world, and I don’t like it. As if this woman isn’t the epitome of class! Jordan, yesterday, at a funeral… Defamer Australia is right behind you on this very important issue, Jordan. *VALE SOPHIA PETRILLO More »

Not Even A Boob Reduction Can Help Jordan Fit In With The Snooty Inhabitants Of The Polo World

11:55AM Jess McGuire | Tragic news from the United Kingdom, with revelations in the Daily Mail that Australia’s favourite daughter-in-law, the cantastic and currently brunette Jordan, has recently been the victim of a hurtful snub by members of the polo world, with the snotty horse-loving bastards deciding she is simply too “chav” for their social engagements. But she had her rack size reduced! She’s not blonde anymore! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM HER?! The reality TV star has been banned from the most prestigious event in the polo calendar because, insiders say, she is simply ‘too chavvy’. Jordan – now a bestselling author, albeit one who doesn’t actually write her own books – is said to be ‘incredibly upset’ after she was told she would not be welcome at today’s exclusive Cartier International Polo contest in Windsor. The snub comes despite her self-made wealth and her ardent love of horses. She has always been a keen rider and learned to play polo earlier this year. Katie Price, as she now prefers to be known, believes she is the victim of a personal vendetta after being denied access to the event at the Guards Polo Club, where The Prince of Wales Team will play Hurlingham for The Golden Jubilee Trophy and England will take on Australia for the Coronation Cup, presented by Prince Charles. An anti-Jordan conspiracy? Well, I never. Last night the model’s agent Claire Powell said: ‘It’s true, Cartier didn’t want Katie there. We cannot understand it because Katie has worked with Cartier before. She’s been in the presence of Royalty before; she’s met the Queen and appeared at the Royal Variety Performance. It’s a big shock and Katie is incredibly upset. ‘It wasn’t about her wanting to mingle with the rich and famous, it’s because she’s a fan of the sport. ‘We can only assume that someone has got it in for Katie. She thinks it’s really sad. She’s worked hard to transform her image.’ Hunt them down and kill them, Katie. Or dance the anger out, Flight Of The Conchords style. In other news - (I’m so sorry) More »