hissy fits

Jamie Durie Incurs The Fiery Wrath Of Prince Philip In The Middle Of A Field Of Pretty Flowers

10:03AM Clem Bastow | Jamie Durie – who I should briefly congratulate for winning gold at the Chelsea Flower Show for his garden created with pal and nurseryman Wes Fleming – has learned that despite all his hilarious malapropisms and gaffes, Prince Philip can apparently turn his sense of humour on and off at will. Mr Queen was inspecting the Flower Show, and expressed particular fondness for a bushy plant in the midst of Durie’s winning exhibit. Which is probably where the Royal-loving Brits would’ve left it, but Durie just had to go and open his dirty colonial mouth… The prince’s reaction stunned Mr Durie, who had just spent a pleasant few minutes showing the Queen around his garden. “It was my first experience of Prince Philip,” he said. “He said to me, ‘I do like your tree fern’. I said, ‘Actually, it’s not a tree fern, it’s a member of the cycad family. It’s a Macrozamia moorei.’ “And with that, he walked off. As he was walking away he said, ‘I didn’t come here to get a lesson’ under his breath. “I didn’t hear him say it, one of the boys heard him. I thought, ‘Well, you did ask.’ I was trying to be as courteous as I could and give him the right information.” Poor old Jamie, all that time spent doing backflips and wearing g-strings has obviously numbed him to such monarchist niceties. But I say give the old duke what for – he’s spent too long getting away with calling anyone who isn’t white “savages” and probably having a go at “poofs” and still looking askance in the forests for “Jerry” or “Charlie”. I daresay old Liz was probably glad to have someone else set him straight for a chance. More »

Channel Nine: The Happy Network!

4:12PM Clem Bastow | We like nothing more than a royal spaz out at a special occasion from someone who should know better, and we particularly like it when it involves the ill-fated Channel Nine, whose year is about as ‘two-thousand-and-great’ as a punch in the face. Apparently 60 Minutes reporter Liam Bartlett cracked it hardcore – for no real reason – at a farewell function for Ray Martin, who quit the station earlier this year. Amongst his amusing reported outbursts: As the party drew to a close, Bartlett’s colleagues say he launched into an random attack on the return 60 Minutes episode, describing it as “s***” and cursing producers for allowing former Nine CEO Eddie McGuire to be a part of the show. During the rant, which colleagues said “came out of nowhere” he is said to have referred to McGuire’s interview with his AFL friend Sam Newman as “not a story”. Rumours of the rant were rife around Nine’s Willoughby camp last night but if the claims turn out to be true he will reportedly be “in big trouble” with management, a source said. Bartlett is said to have taken aim at the ratings the show attracted. “If you guys are satisfied with 1.2 million (viewers), you’re f******” Bartlett apparently told colleagues. We love this shit! Someone should give Bartlett his own late night talk show, or make him the new Sam Kekovich and just let him rant at inappropriate moments during otherwise unrelated telecasts. Bang bang, you’re f-cked, indeed! More »