helen mirren
Helen Mirren Gifts World With More Realistic Swimsuit Pictures
6:03AM Kyle Buchanan | Between giving date rapes the thumbs-up and tarring other women as “jealous bitches,” Helen Mirren hasn’t done much for womankind lately, though she did plenty for mankind when jaw-dropping bikini photos of her hit the web months ago. Mirren has repeatedly protested that her seemingly blemish-free physique was simply the result of a good angle, and this past week she again hit the beach, this time offering a much more human swimsuit body. More »
Helen Mirren Calling People ‘Bitches’ Not As Fun As We’d Hoped
2:48AM Kyle Buchanan | Though she’ll always have a permanent place in our heart/loins, we’re a little worried that Helen Mirren is toeing the thin line that separates saucy cougars from grandmothers who say totally inappropriate things at dinner. First, the Oscar-winning actress made it known that she eschews bangers and mash for a somewhat more unpalatable “date rape and eightball” combination platter. Now, in an insane 3500-word interview with the Times in which writer Chrissy Iley can barely restrain herself from pouncing on Mirren to reenact Caligula’s most salacious scenes, the Dame airs some even more controversial views on women: More »
Helen Mirren’s House Of Ill-Repute
5:13AM Seth | Taylor Hackford is shopping around Love Ranch—a brothel drama starring wife Helen Mirren (oooh!) and Joe Pesci (ewww!)—to studios in search of a distribution partner. [Variety] Javier Barden has signed on for Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s new movie, Biutiful, a Spanish-language film about “a man embroiled in shady dealings who is confronted by a childhood friend.” We smell cattle bolt fumes! [Variety] Netflix, who we dumped since they decided to start charging more to rent Blu-ray (you hear us, Netflix? That’s the reason. It wasn’t us, it was you. Now stop e-mailing, because we found a new rental boyfriend) has hooked up with Samsung, whose new Blu-ray player is equipped to stream their movies. [Variety] After the jump: What director does DreamWorks have on tap to fill Chicago 7 with cameos by his friends? More »
Helen Mirren and Russell Brand Form Saucy Mutual Admiration Society
8:15AM Kyle Buchanan | Sometimes, British news is tardy coming across the pond, and other times it simply takes us a little while to collect our composure after crushing disappointment. In this case, it’s a little of both, as our longtime crush Helen Mirren has publicly returned the affections of a man who is neither her husband, Taylor Hackford, nor the chiaroscuro possessor of a raised eyebrow that is the mascot of our humble blogspot. No, instead she has fallen under the charms of noted ladykiller and purity ring-eschewer Russell Brand, and this can mean only one thing: trouble. More »
Helen Mirren, Nazi Huntress
3:40AM STV | Helen Mirren will trade in her two-piece for a gun in The Debt, a remake of an Israeli hit about a Mossad agent who comes out of retirement to track down a war criminal. [Variety] TNT fell for the old “Buy a Bruckheimer, Get a Wahlberg For Free” trick, not realizing it negotiated for Donnie’s new Boston cop procedural Bunker Hill. Gotta read those contracts, gang. [THR] More »
Helen Mirren Would Like To Ease Your Bikini-Envy
11:00AM Clem Bastow | It’s safe to say most average women remember the day Helen Mirren was pictured, aged 63, in a red hot bikini; in short, it made most of us go “Holy Jesus, I’m [insert age here] and I don’t even look that good!” before committing swimwear induced hara kiri. Well, Dame Helen herself would like to help alleviate your body anxieties, by coming out with a not-very-convincing volley of self-doubt when it comes to her slammin’ bod:
She puts her head in her hands (I love the way she is so tactile with her own face; most movie stars tend to sit expressionless, in case something gets smudged) and lets out a moan. ‘I only wore that bikini – I got it in a boutique in Nice, it’s by a little label called Darjeeling, and it actually fitted me, which is nice; the top is built like a bra – because I was certain I would not get photographed.
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When Not Looking Good In A Bikini, Dame Helen Mirren Likes A Snort Or Four
9:07AM Clem Bastow | It’s no secret that I’m a fan of a hilariously hyperbolic headline, particularly from the British tabloid rag subgenre (see: Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster). So, it’s nice to see that the news.com.au crew have been inspired – clearly – by their friends across the pond with this Monday morning corker:
Nazi fears stopped me snorting cocaine: Helen Mirren
More » Helen Mirren’s Award Winning Abs
9:37AM Jess McGuire | Congratulations to Oscar winning sixty-something year old actress Dame Helen Mirren whose never ending hotness – remember? – has led to her enviably flat stomach being declared the third sexiest tummy on the planet, as judged by the makers of a “stomach flattening supplement” called AntiBloat (and can you imagine better folk to assess celeb torsos? I cannot…)
The 63-year-old actress – who recently wowed onlookers with her trim physique when she donned a bikini while on holiday in the Italian Riviera – came third in the poll.
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Guv, Boss, Ma’am
12:49PM Jess McGuire | Continuing our celebration of all things Helen Mirren today, please enjoy this delightful skit from French & Saunders.
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Won’t You Join Us In Marvelling At Helen Mirren’s Ridiculously Toned Physique?
12:25PM Jess McGuire | Proving once and for all that she cannot actually be a real human being, but instead some sort of sexy fembot whose body never ages or rusts, Helen Mirren has been snapped in a bikini during a holiday in Italy.
OH. MY. GOD.
Granted, Helen Mirren hasn’t weathered the body storm that is child-bearing, but still – the woman is about to turn sixty three, people. SIXTY THREE!
There are more depressingly stunning shots of the Oscar winning dame over at the Daily Mail. I can’t decide if they give me hope for the future, or just make me want to cry. Damn your older lady hotness, Helen. Damn it to bits. More » 
