heather mills

A Pleasant Mental Image For Your Afternoon: Kerry Packer And Heather Mills, Sitting In A Tree…!

1:31PM Clem Bastow | Just when you thought you’d heard the last of Heather Mills, she’s baaaack, and bringing with her possibly the most gruesome alleged twosome we’ve ever had the displeasure of imagining: new reports suggests that the late Kerry Packer was Mills’ “sugar daddy“! A new documentary outs Kerry Packer as a “sugar daddy” of Heather Mills when the ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney was working as a high-class call girl, according to London’s Daily Mail. Denise Hewitt, who says she worked as a £10,000 escort with Ms Mills in the Eighties, makes the claims in a program to be aired on the UK’s Channel 4. Ms Hewitt, 44, is quoted as saying: “We went into high-class prostitution behind closed doors and nobody knew about it…[billionaire arms dealer Adnan] Kashoggi, Kerry Packer and one of the Royal princes of Saudi, they were the big fish and there were a couple of others that were classed as Heather’s sugar daddies. Lordy, we don’t know what to think – after all, the British press has been at pains to paint Mills as a psychotic, money-grubbing sex maniac for some time now, so it could well be malarkey. But as far as the mental image of Kerry and Heather rutting it out on a bed of money, let us be the first to say: And that will be the last we say on the matter! More »

Nude Photos of Heather Mills Are Unappealing (And Not Just Because of Her Missing Leg)

7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Maybe she was a porn star. Maybe she was a prostitute. Maybe she was even a good homemaker (though not likely). Yet the one occupation Heather Mills is known for that continues to confound us is modelling. In 1986, after failing at a number of jobs (and being arrested for stealing from one), Mills started her own modelling agency. Her number one client? You guessed it — herself. These recently surfaced pictures were shot in 1999 and are not as raunchy as the ones we’ve seen in the past. In fact – while not particularly attractive – they’re almost classy. The only thing that’s missing is the airbrushing that we as a society have come to expect. Oh, and her leg. More »

$52.3Million Not Enough To Stop Heather Mills’ Ranting

9:08AM Clem Bastow | Well, the day that seemingly would never come has arrived: Paul McCartney and Heather Mills have reached a divorce settlement! After spending aaages in the courts duking out the terms of their split, the Beatle and his activist ex-wife agreed on a £24.3million settlement (apparently Mills sought £125million and McCartney offered £15.8million), which is roughly AUD$52.3million, but that didn’t stop Mills from marching out of court and holding an impromptu press conference on the steps outside. Launching a non-stop stream of criticism, Ms Mills raged against Sir Paul, the judge and McCartney’s lawyer Fiona Shackleton. She said: “Fiona Shackleton has very sadly handled this case in the worst manner you could ever imagine. She has called me many, many names before meeting me when I was in a wheelchair.” Ms Mills also launched an angry outburst against her husband’s victory on where their daughter would live and how much she would get each year. “Beatrice gets £35,000 a year. She is meant to travel B-class when her father travels A-class. “Paul has always wanted Beatrice to go to a state school. He insisted that he wanted us to move to that area [East Sussex] – £35,000 includes. £17,000 for school fees.” “He tried to get our daughter with joint residency, even though we had gone 50-50. In that way he has got everything he wanted, but that’s what powerful people get.” Ms Mills complained about the judge’s assessment of her husband’s wealth. “He also said that Paul is only worth £400 million. Everyone knows that he has been worth £800 million for the last 15 years. “Paul has always wanted it public because he wants to look like generous Sir Paul.” Blah, blah, blah… You know, for ages we tried to support Mills, tried not to buy into the grossly misogynist muckraking the UK tabloids took part in, tried to see her as something other than the gold-digger the press was so keen to paint her as – but she was just as keen to, presumably, reveal the deeply unpleasant nature of her personality. Surely the mega-bucks pay-out means she could relax into full-time parenting, but no, Mills plans to shack Beatrice up with a nanny ASAP. And given the terms of the divorce settlement, we’ll never know if Sir Paul really was a knob to her, as she claims, but you know what? We hope we never have to hear from or of her again. More »

Mills And Mccartney Settle Divorce (Apparently); ‘Sex Maniac’ Story-Selling Ex Did It For The Children

9:02AM Clem Bastow | Two news items in the Macca/Mucca corner this morning, most pressingly that it appears that after a protracted legal battle involving muckraking, on-air meltdowns and garish tabloid revelations, Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills may be close to settling their divorce, with McCartney agreeing to a particular payout if Mills in turn agrees to a strict gag when it comes to talking about the marriage. According to the Daily Mail, via the SMH: According to the paper, McCartney is to pay a £20 million lump sum to Mills and continue to make annual payments of £2.5 million until their four-year-old daughter Beatrice turns 18. Mills was also entitled to four security guards for 24-hour protection. In return for the settlement, Mills had agreed not to talk about her marriage to McCartney. Given that McCartney more or less owns the universe (didn’t he buy the rights to Happy Birthday once, or is that in the same basket as mud-sharks and stomachs full of semen?), we’re sure he won’t miss the money (or, for that matter, Mills). However, in more entertaining news, Tim Steel – the fine, upstanding gent of the “massaging her stump gives her multiple orgasms” story – is clearly desperate to show his sensitive side after totally selling out his former relationship with Mills, and has defended his blurting – apparently, he needed the money to send his children to school. Break out the violins! “I could have sold this story so many times before but my circumstances changed. I am a father of two young boys and I took the money to pay for their education,” he said. Steel and his wife, Heather Mills look-alike Sue, have put their two young sons’ names down for the prestigious Scots College in Sydney’s Bellevue Hill. “I had a long, long chat with my wife about it and we thought the chance was there to secure my boys’ education. I wasn’t just some greedy love rat.” … “I was trying to put the positive side of Heather, that she is not a gold digger. She is a massive campaigner for her charities and that’s where all her money goes.” Yes, the positive side of her being a sex maniac with an apparently clitorally-enhanced stump who likes having sex on desks. Top work, Steel, you’ll get your reward in heaven! More »

Heather Mills Returns To Court; News Of The World Staff Spotted Breathing Into Paper Bags, Having Bex And Cuppa

9:27AM Clem Bastow | While we think the press has been more than a little harsh in their treatment of Heather Mills, her behaviour over the course of her divorce proceedings from Sir Paul McCartney haven’t exactly helped her out. Well, now the case has started up again, and so the money-grubbing story-sellers are re-emerging from the woodwork, and we couldn’t resist this lascivious little pull quote from this morning’s Age online edition: Did that whet your appetite? No? How about a little more from former lover Tim Steel, who just happened to be passing the News Of The World offices while talking very loudly to his biographer (or something like that). The former model, who appeared in London’s High Court overnight to settle her bitter divorce battle with The Beatles legend, was “insatiable” in the bedroom and laughed about being “pursued” by Paul while romancing Tim Steel in 1999. Steel, who had allegedly been sleeping with Heather for three years when she met Paul, said: “Heather was insatiable, she demanded sex six times a night. “I’d come home to find her waiting naked in bed. She had a hoard of vibrators for when she was home alone. Her favourite was a huge back massager that she plugged into the mains. “She would laugh and say, ‘I’m being pursued by a Beatle!’ She even showed me text messages from Paul. She was up for it anywhere. Once she pleasured me under my desk while I was at work.” Wa-hey! Please, Tim, we’re still a little unclear as to the nature of your relationship with Ms Mills. However, we’re quite convinced that the highlight of this sorry tale is the particular quote from Mr Steel (who is clearly the front-runner in the race to be crowned upstanding gentleman of the year) you will find after the jump. Prepare yourself… More »

2 Hearts – One Belonging To A Beatle, The Other To A Tiny Cancer Conquering Pop Star – Are Apparently Beating Together.

10:41AM Jess McGuire | Oh come on. Despite our headline, even we aren’t foolish enough to believe that a duet between Paul McCartney and Kylie Minogue on Jools Holland’s Annual Hootenanny (that’s right, his name is Jools Holland, this isn’t a case of a bloke named Jool hosting an Annual Hootenanny in Amsterdam, you silly kids at The Age!) is anything more than two professional musicians combining their star power for one blistering non-Beatles song. But if “friends” of Heather Mills are to be believed, Sir Paul’s former love is, erm, hopping mad about the whole thing. Kylie Minogue reduced Paul McCartney’s estranged wife Heather Mills to tears by performing a sexy duet with the former Beatles star on a New Year’s Eve television special. Friends of Mills say she was furious when she saw Minogue “flirting” with her husband and lying on top of a grand piano while singing his solo song, Dance Tonight, alongside Sir Paul. SLUT! SLUT! More »

Heather Mills’ Split-Beaver ‘N’ Red Lace Shots Excite The Uk Press

10:41AM Clem Bastow | As if it weren’t already obvious that the soon-to-be-ex Lady McCartney, Heather Mills, couldn’t catch a break during her very public divorce battle with the beloved Beatle, she’s just been dealt another blow courtesy of her sexxxy past and the News Of The World. Her “I was young and needed the money” days of modelling for “educational” sex manuals caught up with her while she and Paul were still together, and this is sure to send the prudish and pro-Macca UK press into a total lather – which the News, clearly looking to win some awards for forwarding the feminist cause, is already doing. Now we’d love to hear how the former hooker explains this snap of her as an unashamed hardcore porn queen. Last year, Heather strenuously denied ever being involved in porn after lurid shots emerged of her posing in a German sex book. Die Freuden Der Liebe (The Joys Of Love)—shot in 1988—featured her naked, performing a sex act on a nude male porn star. Heather tried to play down the filthy book as a “sex educational manual”. But clearly there is NOTHING educational about today’s sickening photo. Sickening? Harcore porn queen? Former hooker? Jaheeeezus – we realise Sir Paul is about as close to Jesus in the UK as you can get without actually being the son of God, but there’s something decidedly unsavoury about the press’ savagery when it comes to Mills. And besides, we hardly think this ’80s-tastic hello boys shot is “hardcore porn”, but then maybe we’ve just been hardened and desensitised by this modern age, baby. *inhales determinedly on cigarette* More »

Heather Mills Is Worse Than A Princess/Paedophile/Murder Suspect, Apparently

11:38AM Clem Bastow | Heather “Soon To Be Ex-Mrs McCartney” Mills is teetering close to the edge during her ongoing divorce from Sir Paul, appearing on GMTV in a particularly rabid mood, during which she claimed to be treated worse by the media than paedophiles, Kate McCann and Princess Diana. Her claims have, obviously, sent the UK press into another frenzy, which makes you wonder why she even bothered to request an interview on the show. Bizarrely, despite frequent reports of the ever spiraling amounts of settlement she is apparently refusing, she also claimed that she’s not necessarily after Sir Paul’s money. What the? On the divorce case which has fascinated the world, Ms Mills said she had been “offered nothing”, but she was unable to discuss it for legal reasons. She said: “How do you know if I even want any money? I’m £1.5 million in debt in lawyers’ fees, and that’s as much as I can say or I go to jail, for telling the truth. “So I’m gagged at the moment because I’m not allowed to say a word while the media are fed this spin by a certain corner.” She then went on to suggest that if alleged death threats made against her by Beatles fanatics “came true”, she would be revered like Paul’s late wife Linda. Whoa, Nelly! As The Sun’s Agony Aunt put it, “she is in urgent need of help”. It’s all a bit sad, actually. The press created this monster and she can’t stop feeding it. No, Heather, no! More »