guillermo del toro

Guillermo del Toro to Pump Out Stale Remakes For Universal Until 2017

8:05AM STV | Whatever your impressions of would-be bank robber and generally overrated fantasy maven Guillermo del Toro, his new long-term pact with Universal can’t be the kind of thing that rouses too much confidence in his growth and versatility — even among fans. After his five-year commitment to The Hobbit, the filmmaker will reportedly return back to his Hellboy backers for four films in as many years. And if/when we ever write our book on the End of Ideas epidemic sweeping Hollywood, his unique stretch from this year’s sequel Hellboy II to one of three remake possibilities in 2017 may be worth an entire chapter’s worth of consideration:

Summer Can Only Get Better as Let-Down Trifecta Storms the Multiplex

2:10AM Defamer Hollywood | Welcome back to another week of Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to the fresh hell of what’s new at the movies. After taking a Hancock holiday weekend to find ourselves, we’re back in full-on summer anguish mode as yet another massive comics adaptation hits theatres, Brendan Fraser goes a-spelunkin’ and Eddie Murphy returns with… we don’t even know. But! We also have our eyes on a few alternatives both at the theatres and in the comfort of our air-conditioned caves, so all is not lost. As always, our opinions are our own and elegantly spot-on — which, of course, you’ve come to expect and we’re happy to oblige! More »

Angelina Jolie, ‘Hellboy II’ Bookending ‘Swear-along Scarface’ and Others at LA Film Fest

5:40AM Defamer Hollywood | We long ago gave up our illusions about Film Independent’s annual Los Angeles Film Festival being any kind of authentic showcase for, well, independent film. Like when Transformers launched the fest last year? Right. But that’s the biz, and if it takes Universal to step in on opening night June 19 with its Angelina Jolie action thriller Wanted just so we can see the revelatory Russian entry Cargo 200 on the West Coast, then that’s a price we’re willing to pay. (And hell, we’ll probably even check out Wanted while we’re at it.) Follow the jump for a few more highlights, including Universal’s other graphic novel adaptation closing the fest. More »

In a blog post last month, before The Hobbit …

8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | In a blog post last month, before The Hobbit officially landed a director, Lord of the Rings veteran Sir Ian McKellen was more certain he would reprise his role as Gandalf than he was of his former castmates’ sexualities. He was even surer in a recent interview with Empire magazine, in which the 68-year-old confirmed he was coming back for filmmaker Guillermo del Toro. “Yes, it’s true,” McKellen said. “I spoke to Guillermo in the very room that Peter Jackson offered me the part and he confirmed that I would be reprising the role. Obviously, it’s not a part that you turn down, I loved playing Gandalf.” And if McKellen’s happy, then we’re happy — especially when it means we don’t have to further wrack our tired, beaten brains conjuring a suitable replacement. Thank God for small favours. [Reuters] More »

If ‘The Hobbit’ Must Be Made, We’d Rather See One of These Directors at the Helm

2:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Our dissatisfaction at Friday’s news that Guillermo del Toro would inherit the Hobbit reins from Peter Jackson met with a mix of scorn and curiosity over the weekend. “Pony up an alternative, Cochise,” wrote a commenter. “Destroy those two GENIUSES and all we will be left with is Lucas and Spielberg. And that is not a world I wish to live in.” Us neither! That said, if the Laws of Hollywood Franchises dictate that this goddamned movie must exist, we can think of at least five talented directors off the tops of our heads whom we’d prefer over del Toro, Jackson or any of the other usual fanboy fantasy suspects. Tell us your own ideal hires after the jump.

‘Hobbit’ Director Debate Ignores Critical Fact that ‘Hobbit’ is Rubbish

9:50AM Defamer Hollywood | There’s been much to-do over the last day about Peter Jackson’s hiring of Guillermo del Toro to direct the two-part Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. Among our favourite dissenting opinions belongs to Salon critic Andrew O’Hehir, who pulls out his Cannes ‘06 interview notebook to look up del Toro’s sentiment at the time: “I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don’t like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits — I’ve never been into that at all. I don’t like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff.” Our sister blog Gawker doesn’t like del Toro’s selection either, but we’re optimistic this is a perfect match for everyone because The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien and Guillermo del Toro all fucking suck. Does it really matter which A-list fantasy/horror fanboy with $300 million of Warner Bros.’ money and Jackson’s imprimatur is going to spend four years jacking off behind a camera in New Zealand? It’s going to be unwatchable. Not only that, but didn’t Jackson make this movie three times already? Here’s our exclusive script excerpt: “EXT. FOREST — DAY. Bilbo Baggins furrows his brow. Visual effects and soundtrack happen. INT. CASTLE — NIGHT. Ian McKellen cameo. More effects. EXT. FOREST — DAY. The end.” It’s a hit! [Salon] More »

Short Ends: Brad Pitt Getting Blown

10:40AM Mark Graham | By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine] Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson’s Oscars. [Variety] Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood’s latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe’s Organic Vodka Sauce. That’s our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut] And since we’ve clearly got sex on the brain, here’s video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man’s James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic] And lastly, Amy’s Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): “Are you aware that Tina Fey’s husband looks like this?” Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous] More »