I can't stop looking at YouTube videos of the way it was.

Oh Gretel, you minx.

This one is quite good too, as Gretel spends a long time talking about Saxon's sex drive - something that, with the benefit of 2008 hindsight, we know she'll soon enough learn about in her private time.

Behind Big Brother announced it, the news outlets are running with the story, and we just received an insider email from a Big Brother connection confirming it as true - Big Brother has been cancelled by Channel Ten.

Were radio duo turned television hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O the kiss of death for the Big Brother franchise, or was the loss of Gretel Killeen more to blame? Did the downhill slide kick off after the debacle that was Turkeyslapgate? Or was it over and out for the Gold Coast based reality extravaganza when Lefty Tim was robbed by the Logans during the 2005 finale (no, I'm still not over it)?

Who knows. All we can be sure of is that the last few years of the program have felt like producers were going through the motions, and audiences were slowly but surely finding better things to do than stay in and watch sun-loving bogans party pashing in the spa and talking rather ignorantly about world affairs.

The show's ratings have been poor since radio jocks Kyle and Jackie O replaced previous host Gretel Killeen as the faces of this year's series.

Big Brother was even beaten in the ratings by Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan's Budget speech in May.

Ratings bounced back to more than 1.4 million this week with the appearance on Wednesday of former Playboy Bunny Pamela Anderson.

Look, Pamela's appearance on the show absolutely worked for me - she was great, charming, and funny - but it wasn't ever going to be enough to redeem the show in the eyes of the viewing public.

Rumours that the show will return in 2010 may thrill some fans (and chill the blood of Big Brother haters...) but whether a year's break will be enough to reinvigorate the program remains to be seen. That said, a hiatus was something I suggested earlier this month - relax, kittens, I'm not egotistical enough to think my daft memo to Big Brother producers was influential in any way - so fingers crossed my other suggestion (Charlotte Dawson as host! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!) is taken on board as well.

I suppose the big question is - how on earth are Channel Ten going to fill their schedule between April and July next year? M*A*S*H re-runs? They'd better not invest in local drama, or I may very well pass out in shock. I suggest buying up as many cheap reality shows featuring Jillian Michaels as you can get your paws on, dudes.

Vale, Big Brother. We knew you all too well.

While I can't speak for my beloved Defamer Australia Editor, one of the main reasons I stopped watching Big Brother (or, perhaps more accurately, one of the only reasons I watched it for as long as I did) was because of the presence of the wondrous Gretel Killeen.

And since she's been so "under the radar" that she was more or less off it for the past few months, I'm glad Mix 106.5FM's Todd McKenney and Sonia "Tina Sparkle" Kruger have thought to ask her how she feels about the show grinding forward in her absence:

"I think it's much better not to have seen it," she said.

"I wouldn't want to say its time has come or gone because it's not fair to the people who are doing it.

I think people can sometimes exaggerate where the ratings are."

Killeen also said she did not regret leaving the show, saying she was "ready to go".

"I was ready to go, I'd done it for seven years," she said.

Right, well, that settles it, doesn't it? Hopefully Gretel will return her hand to writing young adult fiction; My Life Is A Toilet remains one of the funniest books I have ever read, and its narrator Fleur's description of a bloke as being "about as sexy as a soap with a pubic hair stuck on it" could well stretch to describe replacement host Kyle Sandilands.

Alright folks, if you're still distraught and horrified by the fact Gretel Killeen has been kicked off Big Brother in favour of Kyle "Faustian Pact" Sandilands and Jackie O, there's a Facebook group you can join titled "We Will Never Again Watch Your Shit Show, or, How Dare They Remove Gretel" started by Defamer Australia's very own UK Correspondent and dedicated Gretel admirer Will.

It is here, and describes itself thusly.

Gretel Killeen is no longer the host of BB-AU. And to rub salt in the wound, she has been replaced with the literally insupportable Kyle and Jackie O IS THIS A FUCKEN JOKE

Gretel was in fact the only reason most people (apart from retarded children) watched Big Brother. Now that she is gone, this will become evident.

It feels like the end of the world.

There you go.

Oh god. Oh god. It's not often we break our weekend silence, but when we woke up to a text message saying "IT'S OFFICIAL, GRETEL'S BEEN GIVEN THE ARSE" we knew we had to let you know as soon as possible.

We'd heard whispers a few weeks back, but desperately hoped against hope they would prove to be untrue because her rumoured replacements were going to be two of the world's least likable television personalities. But our worst fears have been realised - not only has Gretel left the show, but they've signed Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O for the 2008 season.

Gretel Killeen has been dumped from Big Brother as Ten seeks to revamp the struggling show by introducing new hosts, radio duo Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O.

"Working on Big Brother has been an extraordinary, challenging and rewarding experience," Killeen said.

"I'm really proud of what we've achieved but I now have the seven-year itch and am busting to get on with a million new things, including my first feature film, which we're shooting in the new year."

After seven years, the show is in dire need of a change.

The 2007 series was criticised for its boring and predictable housemates, resulting in poor ratings and speculation the show might be axed.

But producers Endemol Southern Star have confirmed the show will return in 2008 in a "tighter, re-energised format".

WHY MUST TIGHTER AND RE-ENGERGISED MEAN KYLE SANDILANDS AND JACKIE O?

"I would like to see them shake it up, especially with the contestants because I think everybody is sick of the same old contestants going in," Jackie O said. "It actually gets really boring after a while. As a fan, I have always wanted a bigger variety of people in there and also to push the contestants more."

"I want that conflict, that real sense of drama rather than that frat house drama that we've seen over the last few years," Sandilands, who is also a judge on Ten's Australian Idol, said.

We don't know, Kyle. We recall times the house has been filled with a real sense of drama over the past few years, like when that fucking idiot in the Sean John cap had a tantrum and sooked his way off the show.

Don't be fooled by our open letter, we bloody LOVE Gretel Killeen. No, really. When she's good, she's good - it's just she's obviously not wanted to be there for the last couple of years, and it's made an already dying show even harder to stomach. We simply want the little lady to be happy with all the exciting new things going on in her life. Perhaps, as our gay and UK correspondent Will once suggested, she can be "Garretted through" the ranks of the Labor party and find herself a sweet position in Rudd's posse? In any case, we wish her well.

But Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O - seriously, Ten? As far as most viewers with taste go, the Austereo pair are the television hosting equivalents of a punch in the genitals. By all means, prove us wrong next year, but we fear this may be the final nail in the coffin for our Big Brother addiction.

On the upside, at least we'll start doing something productive with our Sunday and Monday nights in 2008.

Unlikely, as long as televised footy matches of Collingwood games still feature shots of the supporters (we say this with extreme love), but we are indeed looking down the barrel of a Big Brother-less 2008.

Big Brother may not return to television screens next year, as television executives and producers remain in negotiations over the show's future.

During this year's finale show, host Gretel Killeen said the show had been confirmed to reappear on Network Ten in 2008.

But less than two months later that claim looks increasingly uncertain.

During a time that should be occupied with plans for the next season, the show has yet to be confirmed by Network Ten as part of the 2008 line-up.

We're finding it hard to even remember what Channel Ten programming was like before the crazy days in 2000 when we were introduced to the likes of Blair, Ben and Sara-Marie during the first season of Big Brother. Was there even television before then? Did we go out at night? What happened on Sunday evenings? We didn't read books or spend quality time with family members or anything weird like that… did we?

At least one high profile cast member, involved in pivotal roles on the program in the past, was understood to be considering other projects for next year.

Another was said to have told friends that a return to the show was not on the cards.

Our bet is that the first 'high profile' cast member is Bree, and the second is Ryan Fitzy/Fryzie Fitzgerald. In any case, you know Mike Goldman isn't the protagonist in either scenario. We've no doubt that news of the show's cancellation would lead to him rocking back and forth in a corner, quietly weeping, whilst texting "Mikey G" to 199 2SAVE repeatedly.

Eventually he'd get it together enough to finally leave the house, but even then it'd only be to hit the Gold Coast bars where he'd try to impress roving gangs of blonde-haired scrawny girls wearing midriff tops featuring feisty slogans sprawled across the chest area by slamming his last $50 down on the bar and screaming "WELCOME TO FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!". And each night would see him once again leaving the nightclub heavy hearted after yet another youthful lass has stared at him blankly for a few minutes before finally asking "You, like, totally look familiar. Were you, like, my primary school teacher or something? Why are you, like, out? That's gross...".

Poor Mike-Goldman-in-our-overly-dramatic-dream-sequence :(

You never know. Perhaps Big Brother'll just go on hiatus until 2009. And maybe a year off will do everyone involved in the production the world of good. The idea of a relaxed Gretel fronting a program that doesn't just feature sixteen half-cut idiots who pretty much spend their days topping up their tan - and their nights donning fancy dress costumes and pashing each other - is sort of appealing.

We interrupt this pause between Big Brother posts for a Big Brother related post.

Last night at the eviction night festivities attended by Defamer Australia, the most hotly debated topic of the evening was not "Aleisha versus Zach - who should win?" (as we were all united in our love for Zach) but rather "Umm, did you see Gretel get hit in the head back then? Did Bodie throw something? Was it a chicken or a shoe? A CHICKEN OR A SHOE, FOR FUCKS SAKE?"

The answer? It was a chicken. A rubber chicken, in fact, and it was indeed flung by the moronic Bodie ... the one male housemate (other than Jamie) who didn't cop a boozed up fondle from Killeen at the after party, we'd wager.

Here's the video!

(Via Behind Big Brother)

RE: YOUR SUNDAY AND MONDAY NIGHT INTERVIEWS WITH JAMIE.

What the FUCK is your problem, woman?

You are behaving like a snide little bully and it's not interesting, it's quite hideous and painful to watch. If Jamie looked like Bodie, would you be behaving in the same manner toward him?

We used to love you, Gretel, but you're acting like a menopausal harpy and we are contemplating an emergency trip to the Gold Coast in order to bathe you in Holy Water and cast out whatever snarling demon has taken you over.

Yours,

Defamer Australia

PS: You needn't have looked so appalled when Jamie very casually and totally not creepily mentioned that a radio station had asked him if you two were having an affair. While we're surprised Jamie managed to hear your hurtful response considering you barked it down from the lofty heights of your high horse, it's important to remember that you fucked Saxon, and thus the public and media secretly thinks every evictee is a potential paramour for you.

PPS: Endemol Southern Star? Please give her stress leave. A nice massage. A bottle of wine. A voucher for a meditation class. Whatever. But for fucks sake, help your host get her shit together because we're gonna find it extremely hard to defend her current demeanor to the legion of Gretel haters out there.

Recent Big Brother evictee Nick has revealed to journalists he thinks Gretel Killeen wasn't as nice to him as she could have been when he emerged from the house on Sunday night. Is it possible she is regretting her involvement with the show, what with plummeting ratings and constant controversy? Erm, yes.

He came out of the frying pan into the fire when he was kicked out of the Big Brother house, and latest evictee Nick didn't seem too happy about it when he spoke to Confidential yesterday.

After a less than idyllic stay in the Gold Coast compound, Nick said he was was surprised by host Gretel Killeen's "passive aggressive" attitude towards him when she grilled him on Sunday night's eviction show.

"I probably expected her to be a little friendlier than she was," a miffed Nick said.

Firstly, Nick - you prefer cock. That automatically cuts out the onstage flirting Gretel likes to indulge in when she has a young male sitting on the couch with her.

Secondly- dudes, seriously. If there is a Big Brother next year, we've no doubt Ms Killeen'll have her lawyers going over her contract with Endemol Southern Star looking for an escape clause.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PICK VACUOUS IDIOTS AS CONTESTANTS, BIG BROTHER PRODUCERS!

We've got more thoughts about what's going wrong for the show this year, but in a nutshell - see shouty sentence above.

Describing themselves as "an alternative to the Logies for people who wanted to vote for the worst of what has been on TV in categories that TV Week magazine keep forgetting to add to the Logies voting form", The Fuglies have encouraged heckling of the Australian entertainment industry and kept office workers amused since 2002, and for that we salute them.

It's been a competitive year but the votes for the 2007 awards have been counted and the results released today. Big winners were Gretel Killeen (Worst Female TV Personality), Kyle Sandilands (Worst Male TV Personality) and Naomi Robson (her "tribute" to Steve Irwin grabbing the coveted Fugly for Worst Incident Of The Year) but there were plenty of others who walked away with a prize.

Check the full list of winners after the jump.

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