grant denyer
Grant Denyer Mourns That Angry 1cm
10:30AM Clem Bastow | As many of you will be aware, Grant Denyer (pictured at left, confusingly wearing Don King’s hair) has mostly left his television days behind to more actively pursue his motorsports dreams. The fun-sized media personality has been giving it a red hot go in a number of racing codes, but will be off the track for the rest of 2008 – after a monster truck nearly squished him late last week, shattering one of his vertebrae. He is now recovered enough to pen an account of his nasty accident, and I think you will all find this excerpt particularly moving:
As if having the racing accident wasn’t bad enough already, the most heartbreaking news was that, as a result of the injury, I am a centimetre shorter. I was 165cms but from today I’ll be 164cm.
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Grant Denyer Resorts To Hair Spray In Order To Look Taller On Screen
9:05AM Jess McGuire | We were disappointed to learn recently that the host of It Takes Two, wee person Grant Denyer, has resorted to fluffing up his hair before the show in a sad and desperate bid to look slightly taller while standing next to leggy co-host Erika Heynatz. Not only that, but Grant’s drastic and hopeless war on inches has earned the ire of the most important folks out there, the Channel 7 audience.
Word is there’s been a bit of a to-do over the ridiculously high hair-do Grant Denyer sported on the series launch of It Takes Two last week.
Channel 7 was inundated by viewer complaints about Denyer’s bouffant – teased to give him extra inches when standing next to his towering co-host Erika Heynatz.
No doubt teasing of a different nature will ensure Denyer’s mop will be styled more appropriately on tonight’s show.
Channel 7 viewers actually ring and complain about the hair height of variety show hosts? You learn something new every day.
But let’s be serious for a moment. If Grant Denyer is truly unhappy with the stature nature gave him, then perhaps we should take a moment to think of ways to help the poor man. Although folk like Andrew G and the Triple J Breakfast team (who have gone so far as to proudly declare themselves the tiniest radio posse on the FM band) appear to have embraced the fact they were put on this earth in a handy travel-sized package – and their entertainment careers have gone from strength to strength because of it – Grant’s attempt at a voluminous quiff is clearly a cry for help, and Defamer Australia will not let it go unheard!
After a long hard think as to how to best style Grant Denyer’s follicles, the following image literally – LITERALLY – punched us straight on the nose and screamed “MAKE GRANT LOOK LIKE THIS”. As we type, we are bleeding all over our keyboard.
If anyone has used towering hair to their showbiz advantage, it’s Don King.
So Grant, print out the following picture we’ve mocked up and take it to the studio’s hair and make up team. You’ll be towering over certainly giving Erika Heynatz’s shoulders a run for their money in no time.
GRANT DENYER – “THANK YOU, DEFAMER AUSTRALIA”
Anytime, little one. Anytime. More » 
Showbiz Midget’s Attempt At Cheekiness Appals Highbrow Sydney Confidential Folk
7:47AM Jess McGuire | Oh, Grant Denyer – when will you stop “going there” in the name of comedy? A month on from your highly descriptive declaration that your hang-over after the Logies had made you feel as if you’d just had sex with a black man*, you’ve managed to rile up moral crusaders Sydney Confidential with the way you finished Tuesday night’s episode of It Takes Two.
Now his sign-off from the celebrity karaoke show has hit a nerve – and not the funny bone – with industry veterans.
With a wink, Denyer closed this week’s episode with a cheeky “see you next Tuesday” – which is also a crass acronym for trash talkers.
While Seven may argue it’s a simple pointer to the timeslot, it breaks a long-standing law of TV etiquette.
It’s listed under “g” for good grace in the showbiz bible, Grant.
Personally, we back Denyer one hundred percent on this, and remain flabbergasted he was never considered for the role of Graham Kennedy in the recent hit telemovie The King.
*Do gay porn stars who have anal sex with black men describe their post-pounding temperament as “like being hung-over from the Logies after party!”, do you think? If not, we’d like them to start. More »
Grant Denyer No Longer Feels Like He’s Had Sex With A Black Man.
2:16PM Jess McGuire | Surprising absolutely no one in the Australian showbiz industry, Grant Denyer has now apologised for his comments yesterday describing his Logies hangover as similar to being pounded by a beautiful, strong, totally hung African American porn star (PARAPHRASED).
Denyer appeared on Seven’s Today Tonight show last night to apologise.
“If anyone was offended by that, I certainly do apologise. Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn’t go out to offend,” he said.
“It was a wobbly joke, made way too early in the morning.”
The real question is, can A Current Affair maintain the rage now that Grant’s acting suitably chastised for at least another episode? Oh, we hope so. The Today Tonight / A Current Affair ongoing fisticuffs situation isn’t getting old at all. More » Grant Denyer Feels Like He’s Had Sex With A Black Man
6:26PM Jess McGuire | CONTROVERSY ALERT!
Channel Seven “personality” and high achieving showbiz midget Grant Denyer made a big mistake this morning whilst speaking to NOVA969’s Merrick and Rosso when he described his post Logies exhaustion as being akin to having sex with a black man.
In response to a question about his condition after the Logies, Denyer, who hosts Seven’s It Takes Two show, said he had slept for only two hours after the awards night.
“So it was a big old day … let me say I’m feeling like I had sex with a black man right now,” he said.
Denyer made another reference to his sexual analogy at the end of the segment, saying “I’ll be the host who looks like he’s been riding a horse for a week.”
We had no idea the Logies after parties were such anal sex fests, but there you go.
More » Insider Footage From The TV Week Logie Awards
2:21PM Jess McGuire | Turns out Defamer Australia had an operative working at the TV Week Logie Awards, gathering secret footage via the magic of a mobile phone video recorder, AND WE DIDN’T EVEN REALISE.
Well, to be fair, we never asked Red Symons to collect such blurry nuggets of behind-the-scenes gold for us, but thank god he did. Well done, sir.
Featuring cameo appearances from Larry Emdur, Grant Denyer, Jennifer Hawkins, and Kate Ceberano’s cans, we couldn’t be more pleased with the clip, as it shows us – in a total Being John Malkovich sort of way – just what it’s like to experience the wonder of the TV Week Logie Awards from the perspective of a guest.
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