goldie hawn

Breastest Hits: What Funbags Over 40 Made The List?

8:55AM STV | With our daily “MGM Tower Under Attack” report in the books, “retard” outrage in the streets and everything thankfully quiet on our Billy Bob Thornton Co-Star CurseWatch, the only real news we have left to pass along today actually speaks for itself: “The Best Breast List: wowOwow’s Peek Down Dazzling 40+ Décolletage.” Indeed, the saucy ladies of the women’s Web site wowOwow — including Liz Smith, Whoopi Goldberg, and Lily Tomlin among others — gathered their 10 favourite middle-age busts in no particular order for discussion, observation and, if you dare, debate. We don’t exactly know the criteria (bikini-rocking couldn’t have hurt Helen Mirren), but see if you can lift and separate them in an excerpt after the jump.

Woody Harrelson Vs. Kate Hudson: Why They Just Can’t Get Along

8:00AM Molly Friedman | Considering the free-lovin’, liberal personalities of two undergarments-fearing stars like Woody Harrelson and Kate Hudson, we were a bit surprised to hear rumours that Woody is “relieved” and happy now that Kate is out of BFF Owen Wilson’s love life for good. Janet Charlton is reporting that “Woody and Kate NEVER got along, but they put aside their differences for Owen…[Woody] never thought she was the right girl for him.” So why would these two hippie dippy celebs find it so hard to get along? After a bit of digging, we came up with three theories, from Woody’s big-screen debut alongside Goldie Hawn, to the skinny-dipper’s habit of setting Owen up with mystery blondes while he and Kate were still together:

British Press Continues Its Assault Against Celebrity Body Parts, Sinks Its Claws Into ‘Bat Face’

3:50AM Molly Friedman | Having devoured celebrity knees and lips in their quest to mock each and every imperfect body part they spot on the red carpet, the British press is now preying on something they’ve dubbed Bat Face, singling out Nicole Kidman as the epitome of Botox overload. Though the picture of Nicole they use isn’t pretty, the bat is actually kind of adorable (at this point, we are far more scared of seeing Nic enter our room in the middle of the night than this cuddly little rat with wings). In fact, Nicole looks less like this animal than she does another: Michael Jackson. And she’s not alone. Rather than naming the immobile facial trend Bat Face, we’re thinking the look is more a symptom of MJ Syndrome, which also counts Renee Zellweger and Teri Hatcher among its victims. More »

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6:35AM Defamer Hollywood | How bad have things gotten for Aspen-based paparazzi? The town, long Hollywood’s preferred mountain refuge from the bustle of L.A., is apparently been so drained of celebrity quarry that its once-proud guerrilla-photographer population has been forced to eke out a meager existence by stalking the likes of Goldie Hawn, who gripes, “They’ve come into our little town and they really have done their job: They’ve shooed us out.” [Breitbart.com] More »

Lisa Oldfield’s “Cat’s Bum” Mouth.

9:25AM Jess McGuire | The dazzling Lisa Oldfield, a panelist on The Catch-Up, has opened up about having plastic surgery which left her lips looking like a “cat’s bum”. But it was a dog of a day yesterday when The Catch-Up panellist Lisa Oldfield was forced to reveal the truth behind her fat lip on the Nine show. No, she hadn’t been bashed by her hubby and former One Nation staffer David Oldfield. Instead, plagued by low self-esteem, she forked out $550 to go under the plastic surgeon’s knife last week. What spurred Lisa to get her lips done? The op was sparked by viewer comments on the Nine program’s website that “ate away” at her, including that she was “freaky looking” and had “wild eyes” and “a wrinkly face”. Ahh, that’s the interwebs for you – a place for idiots to judge others. We should know. Said Lisa - “I went in with visions of Angelina Jolie and came out looking like Goldie Hawn from The First Wives Club,” she said. Right now, Goldie Hawn is feeling pretty down about that comment, Lisa. And so the cycle of cattiness continues. … obviously we jest. We’re fairly certain Goldie Hawn isn’t one of The Catch-Up’s thirty-seven viewers. More »

Trade Roundup: Coens, Abortion, Gyllenhaal Huge At Cannes

8:40AM Defamer Hollywood | · Cannes update: Films receiving early praise at Cannes include the Coen brothers’ No Country For Old Men, the abortion drama 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, and Zodiac, which feels like it was released in America three years ago. You may now return to not caring about what’s going on in France (unless it involves Jerry Seinfeld in a bee suit. That was so awesome!) [Variety] · Because we know that you can’t sleep if you don’t know what Julia Roberts is up to: She’s set to star in a movie based on the the life of African wildlife conservationist Joan Root. Or have more babies and take another five years off from the demands of being Hollywood’s Biggest Female Star, depending on her mood. [THR] · The Emmys are “one step closer” to moving from the Shrine to the shiny new Nokia Theater being built downtown, a change of venue that the TV Academy promises won’t have any impact on the show’s reliably low entertainment value. [Variety] · The season finales of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters overcome token competition from the other networks, giving ABC an underwhelming Sunday night ratings victory. [THR] · Var provides possibly unreliable evidence that Goldie Hawn is still alive. [Variety] More »