girls aloud

Girls Aloud’s Cheryl Cole Reveals The Secret To A Happy Marriage

9:09AM Jess McGuire | Earlier this year, Girls Aloud warbler (and current judge on the British version of The X Factor) Cheryl Cole was alerted – thanks to national tabloid coverage – to the fact her husband, footballer Ashley Cole, had cheated on her. She was expected to ditch the handsome sports star, but decided instead to stay and work things out. And what has she learned from the whole experience? Don’t tie your man down, ladies. Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole is determined to let her husband Ashley Cole remain a ‘free spirit’ despite recent reports claiming the Chelsea player had been unfaithful. More »

Nicola Girls Aloud’s Makeup Range: No Darkies Allowed!

2:27PM Clem Bastow | Hold your horses, politically correct types! Naturally, when we say “darkies”, we mean “nothing darker than unbleached toilet paper or quartz sand”. Yes, Nicola, Girls Aloud’s pale and fragile member (not the first time her milky-white limbs have made news, either), has branched out into the wonderful world of celebrity “product” and has launched a range of makeup specifically for lasses with paler complexions. As part of an ITV challenge, Nicola apparently realised a “life-long dream” by launching the range of sun-sensible slap. She said: “For years I felt like the ugly one in Girls Aloud. I was tall, skinny, with red hair and the whitest skin you’ve ever seen – standing next to to four of the most gorgeous girls in Britain. More »

Girls Aloud: Coming To A Big Screen Near You?

11:41AM Clem Bastow | One thing we have been hoping the whole Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana et al phenom might bring about is a return to the good old bad old days of “official” movies put out by pop groups. SpiceWorld, Head, er, the rest of them, there’s nothing better than a bunch of pop stars doing their best method acting while surrounded by slightly bewildered celebrity cameos. Well, it looks like we may get our dying wish, with the news that Girls Aloud are quite keen on the idea of doing their own feature. We’re just not so sure about the vibe they’re thinking of going for: Kimberley Walsh said: “We want it to be a Friends and Sex And The City kind of thing, all morphed into one.” Man, we love SATC, but combined with a) Friends and b) Girls Aloud’s delusions of dramatic grandeur, we’re not so sure about it. What would’ve been better would be if they proposed a heart-wrenching drama about a bunch of girls from the commission flats who band together to give it one last shot at stardom before the ranga of the group dies of a Fatal Illness backstage after they’ve won their first Brit Award. With Ray Winstone and Judi Dench as Sarah Harding’s alcoholic parents and special guest starring a fake-tanned Clive Owen as Ashley Cole. More »

Girls Aloud’s Lesbian Shocker!

9:38AM Clem Bastow | Well, it’s not really lesbotic, nor is it really shocking, we’ve just always wanted to use that headline (see also perennial favourite, “My Drug Hell”) and this was as good a chance as we’d ever get. Evidently Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, snapped heading home after a large night, really enjoy each other’s company, if the following coverage from the Mail is anything to go by: Along with bandmate Cheryl Cole, the pair had attended Kimberley Walsh’s sister’s 21st birthday party in Mayfair. However after the celebrations Sarah and Nicola were driven away laughing and holding each other in a warm embrace. A “warm embrace”? My, it’s getting hot in here! Is it just us, or is the Mail harbouring some secret Harlequin Mills & Boon Black Label fantasies about these two? Next thing you know they’ll be caressing each others’ secret jewels and crying out in pleasure, and all those other things that people in bodice-rippers seem to do. Girls Aloud lesbian fanfic: coming soon to a major tabloid near you! More »

Top-Deck Coloured Girls Aloud Members Inspire Biting Social Commentary

1:15PM Clem Bastow | There’s nothing we like more than a) serious journalism and b) Girls Aloud, so we were pleased as punch this morning to see the Daily Mail combining the two in some sort of heavenly coming together of everything we love (a bit like “INXS featuring Jon Stevens” or “cheeseburger with fries and a Coke”). Evidently Girls Aloud members Kimberly Walsh and Nicola Roberts (pictured) took a holiday together, and stunned the snappers on their LA stopover with their ‘opposites attract’ approaches to tanning. To wit, Nicola clearly likes to tan by the light of the moon, and Kimberly is going for that oh-so-special George Hamilton look. Fair enough; to each their own, and so on. But wait ’til you cop a load of the social commentary the Mail has squeezed out of this “story”! Nicola Roberts must have virtually embalmed herself to avoid any sunshine at all. She is Michael Jackson pale. This is not sun care but sun snobbery. Just as Cheryl Cole pitched herself a cut above footballers’ wives, so Nicola Roberts is signalling that she is a better class of Girls Aloud. She, like Victoria Beckham, is aiming for Vogue. Tans are for The Brits, Pale Skins are the Oscars. Just as very rich people eat less than the poor, so smart women scorn the tan. Who wants to look as if they have just come back from a holiday? If you examine the class-ridden Holiday Swap television programme, it is always the chav family who hanker for a surfeit of fun and sunshine. Nicola’s look is intimidatingly anti-holiday. She would prefer people to think she had returned from a spell in a TB clinic. She also demonstrates a state of enlightenment, shared by women such as Madonna and Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow. What is the point of being a celebrity if you cannot conquer age? And what is more ageing than sunshine? The poor dolt Kimberley Walsh, her bronze flesh on show in a cheerful sun dress and open-toed shoes, is shrivelling up like Michelle Pfeiffer as the witch in Stardust. Whoa, Nelly! Who would have thought that so much could be read into such a simple act of SPF 30+ application? Particularly since you consider, as the writer clearly hasn’t, the fact that both girls – yes, even snobbish Nicola – have returned from, you guessed it, a holiday. We will try to remember all this next time we’re trying to decide whether to leave the house on a sunny day, and if we get burnt at a music festival (etc) we’ll remind ourselves: TANS ARE FOR THE BRITS, PALE SKINS ARE THE OSCARS. Whatever the bloody hell that means! More »

Betty Boo No Longer Doin’ The Do, Now Dishing The Dirt

1:11PM Clem Bastow | While it pains us to use the phrase “Remember Betty Boo?”, most would be unaware that life didn’t end after she dropped that pesky microphone. Boo, otherwise known as Alison Clarkson, has enjoyed some continuing success as a songwriter and with her own material. When it comes to the former, however, it doesn’t look like she’s in a hurry to work with Girls Aloud’s Cheryl Cole any time soon, telling the Mirror that the experience, which was rather unsavoury, was over before it had even begun. “I was asked if I would be involved in some of her solo stuff,” she explained. “So of course when that was put to her, she hadn’t heard anything about it and accused me of lying and said I needed the publicity or something like that. “I thought it was hilarious and a bit upsetting actually ‘cos it wasn’t like that at all. So I spat back – that’s the way I am.” It’s true, Boo does have new material out at the moment, but really, them’s fightin’ words from Ms Cole, who is no stranger to the publicity machine herself! More »