If you've been waiting excitedly to go and see The Vines in concert during their many upcoming festival appearances, I've two things to say to you. Firstly - 2001 just called and said it's time for you two to break up. Secondly - you're plain outta luck, as Craig Nicholls' is not in a good way and the band have been forced to cancel all the shows planned over the next few months.

Australian rock band The Vines have cancelled all their upcoming shows due to a deterioration in the mental condition of singer Craig Nicholls. Nicholls, 31, was diagnosed four years ago with Asperger's Syndrome, a highly functioning form of autism, after his behaviour became increasingly erratic.

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Hello, punter-faces.

Just a heads up that there's a gig on in Melbourne you may like to attend. Are you aware of Shane Nicholson? He is a singer/songwriter who you may know as the husband of Kasey Chambers (how cute were they at the ARIAs? I LOVE THEM!) but he also does his own stuff, for god's sake, so why don't you just appreciate his new album by turning up to its Melbourne launch at The Evelyn on Saturday night?

And while you're there, you can also catch singer/songwriter Jess McAvoy, who is a totally fierce bitch, and also quite lovely. Here is a stupid review she put in the press section of her website. Someone needs to speak to her publicist.

Jess McAvoy's fish is not to be missed by any self-respecting diner. Mixing cumin seeds with another seasoning I cannot recall at the moment, McAvoy created a taste senstation thoroughly enjoyed by punters and critics alike. The butter-infused chick peas were a revelation. 4 ½ stars.

-Jess McGuire

Bernard Zuel can eat my poo - it's rather obvious that I am now the music critic most artists wish to be reviewed by these days, isn't it? Even if I don't review their actual records. Contrary to what you might think, "fish" is not a metaphor for anything. Jess McAvoy cooked me dinner once. It was very nice. She is unlikely to cook her Moroccan fish dish on Saturday night, but she will probably sing you a couple of songs, so that's great - ISN'T IT?

ALSO APPEARING AT THE EVELYN THAT NIGHT?

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Alright, folks. Not only do I have a "hot concert tip" for folks living in Melbourne / Adelaide / Brisbane / Princess Mary's hometown / Sydney, but I'm rather chuffed to be able to offer you a great song to download for nothing. Nada. Zilch. My kinda prices.

Very subtly over the past year, I've been dropping the name Lilith Lane around these parts. Why? Because she is bloody ace, that's why.

Perhaps you would like to listen and decide for yourself? Very well. Right click and download 'Winter' right now, please.

And while you're listening, here's The Age's review for the record.

Would you like to know more about this sultry songstress?

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So I vaguely hinted last week (and by "hinted", I obviously mean "hit you over the head with a large block of wood with the words 'ANGIE HART AND DAVE MCCORMACK ARE GOING ON TOUR AND WE HAVE TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY SOON' carved into it") that we had something special to offer the beloved readers of Defamer Australia this week which was somehow connected to the lead singers of Frente and Custard, and by jingoes, we'll be following through on our promise of free passes to the shows.

However, I prefer to bundle these giveaways up with something resembling an interesting online experience, and this booty of gig goodness is no exception.

Thus, I am happy to inform you that I managed to locate my infamous special journalist hunting gear once more, and soon I will be popping online an EXTREMELY EXCLUSIVE (ie: slightly idiotic) interview with Angie Hart - in AUDIO FORM. Yes! Recorded this morning, you can listen to your editor playfully insult Australia's favourite songbird! Hear the amazing asides and dumb jokes that should have been edited out for the sake of both our reputations, but weren't! Because I'm lazy and quite dreadful when it comes to using editing software!

I do need to clean it up a little though, so it won't be up until tomorrow (around midday). Accompanying it will be instructions on how you can win a double pass to a show near you over the next fortnight. And next week - no promises, but I can only try - I'll attempt to get Dave and Angie to do a little something special just for the viewing pleasure of Defamer Australia readers.

"PORNO?" - You

Oh, behave.

"OMG AND WHERE WILL THE SHOWS BE HELD, ANYWAY? MAYBE I WANT TO BUY A TICKET JUST IN CASE I DON'T WIN ONE!" - You

You're a switched on cat, and I respect that.

After the jump, a helpful guide to the tour (and some phone numbers if you'd like to order yerself a couple of tickets).

"BUT WAIT - CAN YOU TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BRILLIANT AND PENETRATING (LOL) INTERVIEW WITH ANGIE HART IN ADVANCE?" - You

Okay. IF you have a recorder, and IF you can play the solo in Labour of Love, then Angie has agreed to welcome you on stage at the shows to play along with her and her handsome guitarist Sam Agostino. Top that!

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - You

Dude, I know.

Now jump and check out the tour schedule, for fucks sake.

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Hola, Melbourne-based Sime Nugent fans (or passionate lovers of his music willing to travel great distances for a good live show).

As you may or may not know, we're big fans of "The Nuge" around these parts, and I was rather excited to learn that the man himself is playing a very special show, Bruce McAvaney style, this Friday night at Melbourne's own East Brunswick Club. With support from Matt Walker and Suzannah Espie, a couple of special onstage guests, and a rollickingly talented band who will probably make your brain explode a bit when you watch them do their "thang", the gig was always going to be ace - but it's also being recorded, which means there's every chance your girlish cries of "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF, NUGENT!" and "PLAY KHE SANH!" will appear on a CD in the near future!

If you'd like to join me and other people with taste on Friday night, you can buy tickets from the East Brunswick Club's website or on the door at the night. Do it! DO IT!

OR - if you email tips AT defamer.com.au and offer up a remotely interesting YouTube link, you might just win yourself two tickets. Bring a date! Feel them up while one of the country's finest singer-songwriters bangs out the musical bliss! Buy me a beer! Whatever!

Kate Nash, Brit Award winning ladysinger of 'Foundations' fame, appears to be rather protective of her boyfriend, Ryan Jarman from The Cribs. During a recent show at SXSW, Kate snapped when a bunch of suits, no doubt sent by The Man to totally ruin the punk vibe of the night, talked loudly during her fellow's set.

After a great SXSW show, Kate revealed: “I’ve just been hanging out with Ryan and watched The Cribs. There has been lots of sun and beer. He gets angry but I do too. I threw some beer over some of the crowd at The Cribs gig over here the other day.

“I thought it was going to be amazing – but I got there and the band were amazing but the crowd were s**t. It was just industry w*****s with their clipboards.

“I threw a beer and it went over all of these industry people and they got upset.

“And I was like, ‘Have you never had beer thrown over you at a gig before? It’s a Cribs gig.’ Some of my friends have broken bones at gigs.

Ha! You sure showed 'em, Kate! Keep it real! Sex Pistols forever! Take your clipboards and your calculators and your hype generating and your beerless shirts and your unplastered limbs and piss off home, Industry Wankers TM! Until Kate needs you to promote her particular cutesy brand of female singer-songwriter schtick, and then come back! And help sell the records! Don't hate the playa, hate the game! Etc!

Also, are we alone in thinking she looks like an extra from Heartbeat? You know, with an added healthy dollop of fucking hardcore attitude and bone-breaking beer flinging street cred and stuff...

We forgot to tell you yesterday, but since we are receiving a barrage of emails this morning regarding our Robyn competition, we thought it best to publicly announce that the give away is over and if you haven't discovered an email informing you excitedly that you're a WINNER in yer inbox, then we're afraid you were unlucky this time around.

We'll give some more loot away soon though, swears.

So we gave you the low down on Robyn's Australian tour earlier this morning. Now we'd like to give some lucky readers the chance to check out the Melbourne show on Thursday night without spending a single penny. Well, you might blow your cash wad at the bar, and that's a lifestyle choice only you can make.

But you certainly won't be forking out money for you and your date to see our favourite Swede belt out some quality pop - NOT THAT THE GIG WOULDN'T BE WORTH PAYING FOR SHOULD YOU NOT WIN THE TICKETS - as Defamer Australia have a fistful of double passes to give away.

Just email tips @ defamer.com.au with your full name and a contact number, and they're all yours. Woot! We'll see you there!

Can we please have the attention of the class?




Right. Being a pop culturally savvy lot, we would expect you to be familiar with the pocket rocket dynamo that is Swedish sensation Robyn. However, if you've been skipping "school" to go and "sneak the odd cigarette in behind the gym" - this metaphor is quite confusing, but essentially we mean to say that we understand some of you may not be aware of the career of Robyn - we're happy to give you a refresher course.

Back in the late nineties, Robyn has a MASSIVE WORLDWIDE HIT with a little ditty called Show Me Love. Then she disappeared from Planet Earth for many years (NB: not really, but we didn't hear much from her in Australia) only to reemerge in 2005 with a fucking killer album she named Robyn because it was easy to remember.

Our beloved UK Correspondent Will sat us down after ordering the record over the interwebs and made us listen to every single track until we agreed with his opinion that it was indeed wonderful. About a year later, JJJ started playing a track from the album called 'Konichiwa Bitches', and suddenly the coolsie kids who would have freaked out at the idea of owning a record from the bird who released 'Show Me Love' a few years before were dribbling excitedly over what they viewed as the Second Coming of Annie. Whatever helps convince 'em to listen to something other than Hilltop Hoods, eh?

And then? A couple of months back Robyn - along with Kleerup - put out the amazing amazing amazing With Every Heartbeat and scored a number one hit in the UK. In short, Robyn is "quite hot right now" overseas.

So cut to November 2007 - over two years after Robyn 'birthed' Robyn, she's now doing an official tour thingo for it in Oz. Huzzah! Having been one of the lucky few to catch her a month or so ago at a small show at Miss Libertines, we can wholeheartedly endorse her live show and strongly recommend our pop loving readers do everything humanly possible to get themselves along to the gig.

Melbourne kids can attend the show at Roxanne Parlour this Thursday night, and Sydney residents can scoot along to the Oxford Art Factory. Tickets are available through the Modular store.

Of course... perhaps, just perhaps, you won't have to buy a ticket at all!

(CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(AND STAY TUNED)