george michael
Music
10:53AM Jess McGuire | If you’re following me on Twitter, you’re already well aware of my new found obsession with the following song, and probably completely irritated by it. But you best deal, girlfriend! I need to “express myself” on Defamer Australia before I can move on! More »
George Michael & Aretha Franklin – ‘I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)’
10:53AM Jess McGuire | If you’re following me on Twitter, you’re already well aware of my new found obsession with the following song, and probably completely irritated by it. But you best deal, girlfriend! I need to “express myself” on Defamer Australia before I can move on! More » 
George Michael Loves His Face So Much, He’s Ordered A Bling-Covered Copy Of It
10:38AM Jess McGuire | If I was George Michael, I’m not sure I’d be spending a million dollars on a replica of my face. Actually, I think he’s spending a million pounds which means it’s worth about seventy billion when converted to the Aussie Dido-dollar – a figure so great I cannot even begin to comprehend it. I mean, really George… is that what you want to waste your hard earned bucks on? When there are so many drugs out there yet to be purchased? But I’m not George Michael, and that’s something I have to live with every day.
George Michael is to pay £1 million for a model of his face.
The ‘Careless Whisper’ singer is planning to splash out on a 24-carat gold and diamond replica of himself after seeing the sculptures on British TV show ‘The Dragons’ Stories’ – a follow-up to entrepreneurial programme ‘Dragons’ Den’.
The words “high” and “too much money” come to mind. This is just like when I spent an entire month’s wages purchasing assorted Time Life collections for my friends because it seemed like a good idea after suckling at a length of hose jammed into the side of a Mount Franklin bottle.
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When It Comes to Bathroom Arrests, George Michael Is No One-Hit Wonder
7:20AM Kyle Buchanan | Recently, things had been looking up for singer George Michael: not only had he embarked on his first world tour in years, but his music received another moment in the cultural spotlight thanks to the whimsical ABC series Eli Stone. (Here at Defamer, though, we’ll maintain that his most triumphant turn of late was leading the insurrection against a held-hostage Dr. Phil at the Forum in June). Alas, all good things must come to and end, and for Michael, that fluorescent-lit endpoint was once again found in a public men’s room: More »
Vh1 Goes To The Has-Been Well Once Again For Upcoming ‘Heartthrobs’ Show
8:30AM Molly Friedman | There is no point fighting it anymore. Vh1 will continue to produce shows featuring has-been stars from our youth and, like moths to the TV screen, we’ll watch them cry, urinate on themselves and make out in hot tubs until the end of time. Their newest idea will feature (shocker!) Vh1 reality vet Scott Baio mentoring eight “male teen idols” of the 80s in an effort to jump-start a comeback. Since the sad little group has yet to be revealed, we went ahead and picked two former crushworthy picks we’d most like to see week after week, and the two who might force us to cancel our cable package altogether: More »
George Michael Wants To Give You “Access All Areas” In A “No Holds Barred” Manner
10:44AM Clem Bastow | Gossip girls and boys the world over will be clapping their hands at the news that George Michael has just signed on to write an epic, totally authorised and totally tell-all autobiography with HarperCollins.
And given that he’d certainly have a lot of stories to tell, unless something goes horribly wrong and the book turns into a 500-page literature version of Jesus To A Child, we’re about as excited as everyone at HC and in his management team is – VERY!
The book, dubbed “one of the hottest remaining untold celebrity memoirs”, will cover the pop star’s personal and professional life and will hit the shelves in autumn next year.
Michael’s manager Andy Stephens said: “George has promised HarperCollins a no-holds-barred biography, and it’s certain to be just that.
“People aren’t stupid, they’re beginning to notice that the truth is more interesting than the stories the press come up with.”
Belinda Budge, managing director and publisher of Harper NonFiction UK, said: “This is an incredibly exciting publishing event.
“George is one of the best known and best loved pop singers in the world, with an extraordinary story to tell.
“I am particularly thrilled by this deal, as I have long been a fan of George’s. “Most importantly, this really will be a truly authentic book – and an exceptional one, as he’s going to be writing it entirely himself.”
Hopefully the back cover will have a cut-out-and-keep Camberwell carrot paper so that readers can enjoy the book with a nice long joint jazz cigarette.
It’s the way George would want it to happen. More » Fictional Female Character In Fag Hag Shock!
8:55AM Jess McGuire | Hmmm… we can’t help but suspect News Ltd may have been clutching at straws when it came to their attempt to lure readers from the front page of the website to an article about George Michael’s appearance on a television show.
The story is promoted with the words “By George, he’s gay – Which female tried to bed the openly gay George Michael? Click here to find out…” Naturally, we were chomping at the bit to discover which desperate lady celebrity decided to throw logic out the window and have a crack at Britain’s favourite cottaging enthusiast.
Then we discovered it was all a canny ruse..
After managing to convince the-then British Prime Minister Tony Blair to play the fool for a sketch, comedian Catherine Tate attempts to achieve the unthinkable once more – by bedding George Michael.
Admittedly it’s all for her Christmas special, where the popular funny lady is clearly keen to show Michael’s humorous side.
Goddamn it. We’re gutted. We were hoping for some shameless haggery.
Now we suppose the only thing left for us to find out in this somewhat pointless piece is whether George Michael’s appearance on a comedy show was actually funny.
“It’s very funny,” the source added.
Well, we suppose that’s that then.
(dusts off hands)
More » Eighties Golden Boy To Pen Pop Hit For Nineties Golden Girls In Attempt To Win Hearts Of The Record Buying Public In Time For Christmas 2007
8:36AM Jess McGuire | As regular readers would well be aware, we’ve been keeping a close eye on all things Spice Girls related, as we are positively giddy with excitement over the prospect of seeing five thirty-something women (apparently suffering from “the ravages of time”) in concert belting out bubblegum pop hits of yesteryear in a probably futile attempt to rejuvenate both their careers and their bank accounts.
GIRL POWER FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem. Moving on….
The latest update? George Michael is rumoured to be penning their Christmas single!
I hear the SPICE GIRLS are in talks with GEORGE MICHAEL to pen them a Christmas single.
I can reveal that POSH, GINGER, SCARY, SPORTY, BABY and now OLD SPICE, will take on this year’s X Factor winner in the race for the festive top spot. My music insider told me: “The girls are thrilled to be in talks with George. He’s one of the most talented songwriters around and it will make their comeback bigger and better than ever.”
Explosive and screamy use of capital letters News Of The World’s own.
If George can bang out a Funky or Outside-like hit, and not a Freeek!-ish number for the Spice Girls, then we’ll be happy as larry.
We also hope he keeps his bin locked whenever the gals pop over to his house during the process, as it would be thoroughly unfortunate turn of events if Geri felt tempted to get on her hands and knees and fossick through it in the vain hope of locating and huffing down a chunk of chocolate cake or three… again.
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