george lucas
Landmark ‘People Vs. George Lucas’ Case To Be Decided Next Year
3:40AM STV | In a perfect world — one we’ve actively fantasised about for a while — there would be a cultural tribunal somewhere holding George Lucas accountable for crimes against fans and films alike. More »
Reacquaint Yourself With ‘Howard the Duck’ This Christmas
3:10AM Seth | The gifts keep on coming: Go head. Unwrap it. That’s right! George Lucas’s Howard the Duck, in its gloriously awful, crimped-headed-Lea Thompson entirety. More »
Broke George Lucas Sells Off ‘Star Wars’ Stage Musical
8:10AM STV | On the same day a Vanity Fair writer delivered the definitive history of the worst Star Wars spinoff ever, another report suggests that infamous show may soon have competition.
5:15AM Seth | “Follow That Tiny Speeder Bike!” We defy you to look at this adorable Star Wars tableau—achieved, much care is taken to point out, without the use of Photoshop, but rather with an actual Scout Trooper action figure riding bareback on an actual adorable chipmunk—without going, “Awww.” Still, we’d caution not to look at the next photo in the series, in which the Trooper slices open the chipmunk’s stomach and climbs inside to survive a bitter Hoth ice storm. [Great White Snark] More »
7:48AM STV | Rape Sells! South Park beat George Lucas at his own pervy game Wednesday with its already-infamous “Indy rape” episode — the show’s highest-rated fall premiere in nine years. Paradoxically, this must mean Indiana Jones 5 will be green-lit within the hour — probably at the end of that crisis meeting rumoured to be unfolding today at Paramount. Sadly, bitterly, the cycle continues. [The Live Feed] More »
South Park Presents: ‘Indiana Jones and the Pinball-Machine Rape of Doom’
6:00AM STV | We knew George Lucas had a taste for franchise-rape, but our relatively proscribed imaginations prevented us from conjuring the horror of Lucas and accomplice Steven Spielberg forcibly tag-teaming Indiana Jones not once, not twice, but three times in 30 minutes. But that’s what South Park is for, we guess, where the mandate to get tanked on Crystal Head Vodka™ and crossbreed cinema’s most notorious rape scenes with Indy’s own violation was thriving nicely in last night’s episode. We’ve culled one-third of the NSFW nightmare for your viewing pleasure after the jump; expect the filmmakers’ “He was asking for it” defence to arrive here later in the day. [Comedy Central] More »
Harrison Ford All But Confirms ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of the $100 Million Payday’
8:00AM STV | It would be too easy to say that Harrison Ford hit the Crystal Head Vodka a little hard before today’s interview at the LA Times; how else to explain his eagerness to jump aboard Indiana Jones 5 so soon after the franchise’s fourth installment? He’s 66! George Lucas can’t settle on a script! And Shia still has months of recovery ahead for his pinkie and balls. All signs but the dollar say “stop,” but that’s all the actor apparently needed to wax fantastic about the potential pouring forth everywhere from the box office to cereal aisles: More »
New Viral Ad Suggests Only a Drunk Would Buy ‘Indiana Jones 4′ on DVD
8:15AM STV | In fairness, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn’t have much going for it in terms of viral marketing potential; it’s not as though Ow Shia’s Balls brand jockstraps or My First Carnivore Ant Farm sets were on backorder when the film opened last May. But one savvy (if completely incongruous) cross-promotion has indeed sold out in advance of Indy 4’s DVD release Oct. 14: Crystal Head Vodka, pimped by unassuming pitchman and Indy franchise alum Dan Aykroyd on a Web site making the rounds today. Despite the overall conceptual stupidity that uncannily mirrors the film it intends to sell, the set-up nevertheless extends all the way to a popular liquor site that turns you away when adding Crystal Head to your cart. So relax, parents! It’s safe for your kids — or at least safer than Scooby-Doo’s disastrous Rummy Rum Rum!™ tie-in from a few years back. Matthew Lillard still hasn’t recovered from that one. [Crystal Head Vodka] More »
Jack Black, Amnesiac
4:10AM STV | Jack Black will soon reunite with the writers of Kung Fu Panda, teaming up on an untitled comedy about a man who wakes up sans memory on Cuban shores only to deduce he’s a superspy. Yuks, partial nudity and Bourne-franchise comparisons ensue. [THR] If you are the least bit sleepy, we recommend skipping to the jump. Ready? OK: SAG is expected today to approve a measure requesting a strike vote, most likely sometime after the new board is seated later this month. We warned you, didn’t we? Wake up! [THR] More »
