Every now and again, as Defamer Australia peruses the daily news, we are given pause to wonder just how many people are actually running some of Australia's online news "presences". From crazy typos to hilarious Photoshops, their antics are a bottomless well of (unwitting) entertainment that suggests there is actually only one man and a couple of hamsters working in the "digital" departments. To wit, this fresh tidbit in Herald Sun Confidential's 'Confidential Reports' section:

Not only is it discussing last year's Idol prize fight, but it uses the year before's Damien Leith and Jessica "Do What You Do, Say What You Say" Mauboy to illustrate it. Incidentally, has anyone seen or heard from Natalie Gauci lately? Who's excited for this year's installment of the popular televisual talent quest franchise? Now now, one at a time, please!

As predicted, little Sunday Rose Kidman Urban continues to be a source of incredible non-news, whether it be Nic and Keith - OMG! - leaving the hospital to go home, or Sunday Rose burping, or Keith Urban going to the kitchen for a Milo and a Milk Arrowroot, we're sure to be updated on every minute detail of her young life.

So, I give you this "source"-based news, via about twenty different actual news sources:

The new mum and her singer husband are undecided whether to release a photograph of the newborn tot, but if they do it will be for free, reports The Sydney Morning Herald.

A source said, "They don't think it's appropriate to make deals. They are still deciding how they feel about (it) - if and when they will release a photo at all. But they realise there is enormous interest from the public and they are grateful and appreciative of that.

"Nicole and Keith have been enjoying their first few days at home with their firstborn tot - Nicole is thinking about things like breastfeeding right now."

Seriously, though, the whole Sunday Rose hysteria did lead to at least one bit of notable journalism - News Ltd blogger Jack Marx whipped up a very funny post beating the unimaginitive punning subeditors of the world to the punch with a lifetime of Sunday Rose-related headlines. My favourites are:

What A Difference A Day Makes
A sure Walkley winner should it accompany photos of Sunday laughing along with Nicole's publicist, Wendy Day.

Mostly Stormy But A Cool Change Sunday
Should suit a series of paparazzi pics showing Sunday in a dreadful mood then, at last, smiling coyly for the cameras.

Congratulations to all involved at the news.com.au front page who came up with this most excellent headline to announce the tale of Mark Philippoussis' surfing mishap at Bell's Beach (his board was snapped by a freak wave and he had to seek refuge in a cave, apparently - it's true, I am trying not to laugh as I picture that):

You should all be very proud of yourselves.

As should "Damo of Summer Bay", from the comments on said story, who sums up the general reaction to the tale with the witty and incisive: "I bet the Scud's girlfriend knew exactly how to treat those bruises and cuts for the Scud. She probably got all kitted up in her nurses uniform when they got home. Yeah Scud Yeah!"

Yeah, Scud, yeah, indeed.

Sadly for all local fans of sub-editorial antics, Australia's subs don't tend to be as fond of punning headlines as their British peers do (The Sun's "I Be-Weave In A Thing Called Rug", after The Darkness' Justin Hawkins got a hair transplant, was particularly memorable).

Fortunately, the kind folk at News.com.au have this afternoon outdone themselves, and noted the need for further punning, in this image from their front page (whipped up to announce that the soil on Mars would be fit to grow asparagus):

It's almost too much - in one fell swoop they have a) summed up the story, b) made a hilarious pun, and c) made said pun actually involve the word "pun" within its hilariousness.

Bravo, News.com.au - an extra round of drinks for the photo editors is in order at tonight's 6-o'clock swill!

As newspapers have become more and more hip to the whole internets thing, it's been fun keeping tabs on who's reading what, such as News.com.au's "most clicked" articles round-up at the end of last year (which revealed its readers were more interested in levitation and aliens than politics).

'Most read' lists are a fairly telling portrait of a readership, so it was rather amusing to see what the Brisbane Times browsers were hitting this morning (via the 'Readers' most viewed' pane at the bottom of TheAge.com.au's front page):

It is probably funnier - in that whole inter-state-rivalry way, at least - when you see it up against the Sydney Morning Herald and Age top fives, which feature the new iPhone, soccer, politics and the price of living.

It's good to see that our friends up in sunny Queensland are keeping the dream alive for all those who think stories about dead men killing their wives, cancer-causing blowjobs and dogs choking on cane toads are what real journalism is all about!

The following hilarious photo and its original caption was just added to the brilliant Facebook group Subeditorial Antics Appreciation Society.

"Dokkoon the Asian elephant trumpets her approval at being two months pregnant to Melbourne Zoo handler Dave McKelson."

Impressive work, Dave. As a commenter from the Facebook page so eloquently put it, "What's he hiding in those oversized shorts?"

Lord only knows what inspired this feature, but I'm guessing it was something along the lines of Scooter from work experience accidentally spilling a grande latte on the photo editor's desk, thus removing the possibility of another hilarious "Separated At Birth!" style filler piece, and they made him scribble out a hasty replacement in MS Paint.

Behold the fruits of Scooter's labour!

Never has a scene of such shocking cinematic power been reduced to such a bizarrely hilarious WTF moment. The hint attached to that one is, no jokes, "These best friends took to the open road and epitomised Girl Power."

Go on, reader, why not play along? It will only take you two minutes, and approximately 198,678,022 brain cells to become just like every other Daily Mail reader.

Aaaand so the odious coverage of female Olympians has begun! The Herald Sun breaks away from the pack early in the race with this corker featuring triathlete Erin Densham, er, in her smalls, standing next to a bike wheel. Makes perfect sense!

You can imagine the editorial think tank now:

"Guys, we've got to do a story on the triathlon."
"What? No way, that's totally dull."
"I know, but how can we make it... you know, edgier?"
"Hmm... What about if we liberally use the term 'bitch'?"
"Yeah! And if we say 'bitch' a few times, but have her... in a bikini."
"Genius! Good man, I'm promoting you to Editor In Chief - Walkleys all 'round!"
"Hip, hip, hip!"

And so on. The onslaught begins... now!

While us country cousins here in little ol' Australia wait patiently for the premiere of the Sex & The City movie (the partay for which will, incidentally, not feature any of the stars), America is naturally going apeshit for the flick.

Thus, you'd expect the local press to report on such excitement, no doubt to build momentum for the film on our shores. It's just that the Herald Sun chose such a "well derrr" way to do it:

An online ticketing service said 94 per cent of US ticket buyers were women.

"Adventure tourism" is a concept that I never really 'got', to be honest; if I'm going to have a holiday, chances are I'd rather spend it vegetating than risking death in a small sardine tin while being pelted down a waterfall in the middle of tornado season (or whatever).

However, when it comes to travel writing about adventure tourism, I appreciate the need to create a sense of danger, excitement, and living on the edge, maaan. Perhaps that's what happened to SMH blogger Sam De Brito when he went on a shark dive - in a tank.

Recently, I had the opportunity to swim with the man-eaters at Mooloolaba's Underwater World and it ranks as one of the most surreal, challenging half hours of my life.

If you've ever been paddling or surfing in the ocean and spotted a nearby shark, you'll know it's about as chilling a feeling as you can experience; every fibre of your being screams "GET OUT OF THE WATER, NOW!"

To voluntarily induce this meeting of man and fish thus runs counter to millions of years of evolution. Much like skydiving or driving very fast, your body knows you shouldn't be doing it and to cope, coughs out primal chemicals which provide that rush adrenaline junkies hunt for.

Sinking into the busy blue of the Underwater World aquarium and seeing an eight foot shark cruising towards me put a lot of things in perspective. Whatever stresses and concerns I had prior to entering the water disappeared the moment I looked into the completely remorseless eye of a sand bar whaler.

Except for one thing: unless the sandbar shark thought Sam was a mollusc, it actually probably would've been pretty remorseful after all.

Underwater World's own PR describes the dive experience as featuring "large but docile grey nurse sharks, sandbar whaler sharks, wobbegongs and bamboo sharks", while according to the clearly learned people at the International Shark Attack Files, sandbar sharks have been responsible for "a total of 7 recorded attacks since 1580 with no deaths". Now, I'm no mathematician, but 7 attacks in the last 428 years sounds like pretty wide odds to me.

But then again, "I had the opportunity to swim with the bottom-dwelling-fish-eaters" doesn't really cut it in the adventure travel writing stakes, does it?