footy

Female Afl Boardmembers Request Gender Relations Counselling For Sam Newman; Have They Got A Spare Decade?

10:13AM Clem Bastow | We told you yesterday about Sam Newman’s latest “hilarious” stunt on The Footy Show. Well, in news that will likely surprise no one but Sam “It Was Funny” Newman himself, the AFL’s most senior female figures have contacted Channel Nine requesting that, at the very least, Newman receive counselling about appropriate behaviour towards women. Signatory Dr Susan Alberti, a prominent businesswoman and Western Bulldogs board member, said his behaviour was out of line. “It’s just smutty and crass. He needs to be brought into line to respect women for the positions they hold in the community.” “You have to earn respect and he’s not doing that. Women will get sick of it and turn off,” she said. “Women are being degraded on television and enough is enough.” Other signatories included AFL club board members Sally Capp (Collingwood), Beverly Knight (Essendon) and Peggy Haines (Richmond). Wilson described the stunt as degrading, humiliating and insulting. Can you see what is wrong with this picture? Year after year, we keep being told about efforts to “educate” young footy players – and in this case, not so young footy players – about how best to treat women. You know, like, has she had a few drinks? Probably best not to rape her, then, son! Is she wearing a short skirt? It doesn’t mean you can put your hand up it, toodle pip! What sort of monster has the AFL created where such basic human decency no-brainers even need to be put on the curriculum? We’re inclined to think a better idea in this instance, at least, is to put Sam Newman in a cell and let Bev Knight play bad cop/bad cop with him and a rolling pin. More »

Sam Newman’s Feminist Credentials Skyrocket

9:23AM Clem Bastow | As if we didn’t already have a bucketload of reasons to love Sam Newman, he continues to impress with his neanderthal Footy Show antics (and for those who think the use of “neanderthal” and “footy show” is tautological, it ain’t necessarily so; On The Couch and Before The Game both manage to be free of gender bias and idiocy – well, apart from Peter Helliar in the latter category). The Nine switchboard has been lighting up with complaints, and rightly so, since Newman carried out another of his “hilarious” gags, feeling up a mannequin dressed to look like AFL journo Caroline Wilson. Comedy platinum, Sam. Using a staple gun, Newman fastened a picture of Age journalist Caroline Wilson to the mannequin’s head. The dummy was clothed in a satin bra and underpants. “I tell you what, she’s a fair piece, Caro,” he said over the chosen soundtrack, She’s a Lady by Tom Jones. More »

Memo To Kate Neilson: Denial Is Not Just A River Etc Etc

9:21AM Clem Bastow | Following intimations on his Enough Rope appearance on Monday that he and girlfriend Kate Neilson were assessing whether they were “good for each other”, it looks as though Wayne Carey has split with his girlfriend of two years. Only we’re not so sure Neilson knows it’s for real this time. Family sources close to Carey said last night they believed it was a final break-up rather than a separation. But Ms Neilson denied their relationship was over. More »

Sam Newman: From The Hospital Bed To The Panel Desk In Record Time!

1:51PM Clem Bastow | If it feels like only yesterday that Footy Show alum and man about town Sam Newman was checking into hospital to treat his prostate cancer, well, it pretty much was – only three weeks after his surgery, Newman is heading back to the set of the Show. We know it’s AFL season now, and that as much as we find it largely odious, the Footy Show is really all about the Sam/Eddie/Trevor dynamic, but three weeks? After major surgery? Dude! Nine yesterday said Newman was feeling much better and ready to take centre stage after missing the first two shows for the year. The network is confident Newman’s return will be long-term despite his need for follow-up treatment. “He’s feeling better and is up and mobile,” a Nine spokeswoman said. While we thought it was a bit naff that Newman was so omnipresent media-wise while undergoing treatment, we do hope that his plight encourages more blokes to be vigilant about getting their prostate checked, since it is such a huge problem in men’s health and since so many men are slack about check-ups. Come on, lads, if you only ever let someone put two fingers up the bum once in your lifetime, do it now! More »

Escape From LA III: Missing Cousins

9:59AM Clem Bastow | Troubled former Weagle Ben Cousins has apparently disappeared in LA, where he is meant to be continuing his rehabilitation program. The footy champ is attempting to overcome his addiction to both cocaine and methamphetamine with a stay at the Summit Centre, but despite flying to the City of Angels, he has apparently scarpered before checking in. Sources close to the Summit Centre in Malibu told The Australian yesterday the 29-year-old failed to check in, as scheduled, on Monday. They say they are worried for his safety. “No one has any idea where he is,” said a person with knowledge of the situation. “He’s got everyone freaking out because LA’s not a good place to be out doing what he may be doing. “I just hope nothing bad happens to him.” Apparently Cousins was picked up at the airport by two “mystery blonde women” before being spirited away. Seriously, is there something in the water over in WA? Wha’ happen? We remember a time when the Weagles could do no wrong, now it’s like an episode of Law & Order and all we can think of is this. More »