film

Great Ideas In Australian Cinema (Brought To You Telstra)

12:40PM Jess McGuire | Can we expect a film version of the life of Emperor Nasi Goreng to hit the big screen soon? Not quite. But Telstra have decided to approach funding bodies in order to get enough money to bring the tale of Daniel and Patrick, the father and son who appear in Telstra’a BigPond commercials, to cinemas everywhere. No, really. Telstra, one of the nation’s biggest advertisers, plans to seek millions from taxpayers to make a film featuring the father-and-son characters from its BigPond “Rabbits” commercials. More »

Dwayne Johnson To Battle Theme-Park Obsolescence Gnomes in ‘Tomorrowland’ Movie

9:05AM STV | Apparently looking to expand the modest scope that exploited its Pirates of the Caribbean attraction as a nearly eight-hour, $3 billion-grossing trilogy, Disney now plans to mine an entire portion of Disneyland for the franchise of the future. Literally: The studio has reportedly commissioned a pair of writers to develop the script for a film based on Tomorrowland, with Dwayne Johnson attached to star as a minimum-wage ride operator whose fantasies of updating Star Tours lead to a thrilling adventure through the Lucas/Disney black hole of bureaucracy. Or… something. If Disney knows, its overlords aren’t talking: More »

“I Am Not A Tattooed Drug Dealer” – Jake Wall Clarifies The Situation For Idiots

11:33AM Jess McGuire | Stupidly handsome (seriously, he makes me swoon and I should know better) celebrity boyfriend Jake Wall seems to have been bitten by the film bug after appearing in the flick Cedar Boys. The former chippie and model will soon be seen as a hard-core crim after filming scenes in Maitland jail for the upcoming Cedar Boys flick last week. A gritty low-budget thriller set in the western suburbs, the film is set to turn Wall’s public profile – as Hawkins’s other half – on its head. “I really enjoyed playing that type of character, something totally opposite me,” Wall told The Daily Telegraph. You mean you’re not a hard-core crim, Jake? Good lord. This makes your work on Cedar Boys sound dangerously close to acting. In a refreshing display of honesty, Jake reveals he is well aware his dabbling in the world of showbiz would not have been possible were it not for the fact he is in a relationship with Jennifer Hawkins, the former Miss Universe who, due to Australia’s adorable ability to give even our most feminine of icons blokey nicknames, is occasionally referred to as Hawko. “I don’t deny that a few of the opportunities that I’ve had wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t with Jennifer, but hopefully I have made the most of those opportunities. “But it’s definitely not hard being her boyfriend. She’s supportive of whatever I do. And I’m supportive of what she’s doing, so it’s all good.” Oh, go and make beautiful babies already, you two. You’re making me sick. More »

Herald Sun Readers Love War, Neo-Nazism And Violent Hitmen, Not So Keen On The Mentally Ill Or Stolen Generation

7:43AM Clem Bastow | Before you accuse our headline of slandering the good readers of News Ltd’s plucky Melbourne tabloid that could, it’s true! Hun film critic Leigh Paatsch and the faithful readers voted and came up with their favourite Australian flicks of all time. And they were: Lantana (2001): 4% (43 votes) Mad Max 2 (1981): 12% (110 votes) Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975): 3% (34 votes) Rabbit-Proof Fence (2002): 2% (25 votes) Romper Stomper (1992): 10% (90 votes) Shine (1996): 3% (35 votes) Gallipoli (1981): 23% (206 votes) Muriel’s Wedding (1994): 12% (113 votes) Breaker Morant (1980): 6% (60 votes) Chopper (2000): 19% (177 votes) It should be noted that Paatsch collated the shortlist, which is why it’s all a bit AFI-award-friendly. Had he not come up with these options, we have a feeling the list may have been more like this… More »

Australian Does Not Win International Award; Military Action Encouraged Against Uk For Ruining Our Party

11:00AM Clem Bastow | If there’s one Australian media tendency (aside from Angela Bishop continuing to be employed) that really gets to us time and time again, it’s this odd obsession our press has with Australians being nominated for awards, and – inevitably – not winning them, and the accompanying moaning and wailing. The latest installment in this curiously jingoistic journalistic trend is today’s mopey piece from News Ltd on the topic of Cate Blanchett not winning in either of her BAFTA categories. Blanchett was up for two gongs at the British Academy Film Awards (BAFTAs) – leading actress for her starring role as Queen Elizabeth 1 in Elizabeth: The Golden Age and best supporting actress for her portrayal of music legend Bob Dylan in the acclaimed biopic I’m Not There. The Academy Award winning actress had been a hot favourite to take out the supporting actress prize, but lost out to Tilda Swinton for her role as a workaholic lawyer in the thriller Michael Clayton. The 38-year Australian, who is pregnant with her third child, also missed out on the best actress award which went to Marion Cotillard for her portrayal of the revered but troubled French singer Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose. That froggy bitch, she made Our Cate cry! Every year at awards season – whether it’s the Oscars, Globes, BAFTAs, Tonys or the frigging Nobel Peace Prize – our press wets itself over our “special” arty people, revving themselves up so that in all but the most exceptional circumstances they are headed for a fall. The darker side of this is the implication that in not winning, our nominated expats have in some way ‘failed’ us. Plenty of Australian athletes (for example) fail dismally all over the world, but that is apparently a worthy struggle against the odds; actors, musicians and other creative exports were lucky to be allowed to join the international party, but should probably look into a real job, etc etc. Now, we love Our Cate as much as the best of them, and her I’m Not There performance was memorable (not so sure about The Golden Age…), but as inconceivable as it may be to True Blue™ papers like the News Ltd stable, we actually care who does win these awards, because – as shocking as it may seem – we actually watch films that don’t feature Australian actors, actresses and artisans, too! To continue to lead into stories in this fashion is to grossly underestimate the Australian public’s cultural IQ. More »

Would You Like To Star In A Film? Tonight?

1:21PM Jess McGuire | Well, if you’re in Melbourne then you may be in luck. Talented, devastatingly attractive, and completely charming young lass Alexandra Schepisi is producing and directing a short film. It is apparently set in a night club so she needs the venue to look packed  – and that’s where you come in. If you are between 20 and 50, are able to dress yourself in a manner suitable to be part of a night club scene, and you have completely given up on watching Australian bloody Idol, then you will be perfect to come down this evening and play the coveted role of Night Club Extra #35! HERE ARE THE DETAILS Tonight around 7.30ish. The Long Room – 162 Collins St Alex says “The bar will be open for business and we aim to have a lot of door prizes by then as an added incentive and reward, with extra special prizes going out to those who stick around for the duration of the shoot. DJs will be playing all night with minimal interruption for sound recording. We hope to create a fun night out, which just happens to be coupled with a film shoot.” Lovely. We envision the finished product to somewhat resemble this. More »

Abbie Cornish Not To Be Bond Girl

1:21PM Jess McGuire | We love it when a story updates itself literally hours after we report on it. Abbie Cornish is NOT – we repeat, NOT – going to be a Bond girl. The agent for Australian actress Abbie Cornish, has denied rumours the Candy star will be the next Bond Girl. “No, I can tell you that that information is not accurate,” her agent Belinda Maxwell said today. She said she had no idea where the false reports were coming from. THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, PEOPLE! THIS IS ROSE BYRNE’S DOING! REMEMBER? This entire story can be tidily summed up by saying Rose Byrne’s is a pathological liar intent on sullying the good name of tabloid journalism with her red carpet fibs. She must be stopped at all cost. More »